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Robert De Niro and Grace Hightower separate – but this is not the first time divorce is imminent for the couple.
The 75-year-old actor and the 63-year-old philanthropist and singer have had some ups and downs in this epic drama during their 21-year marriage. They separated once before in the late 1990s and engaged in a passionate battle for the custody of their son Elliot before reconciling and renewing their vows at a ceremony filled with celebrities.
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On Tuesday, a source close to the family confirmed to PEOPLE that the couple had separated and lived separately. Here is a return on their marriage.
A marriage of Catskills – and a baby
De Niro and Hightower met for the first time at a London disco in 1987, but did not get married for another decade. The double Oscar winner got a divorce from his first wife, Diahnne Abbott, in 1988 (they share son Raphael, 42, and daughter Drena, 47). He went to supermodel and restaurateur Toukie Smith and has two twin sons, Aaron and Julian, now 23, with her. After their separation, he became serious with Hightower and the two were married at home in Marbletown, New York, in June 1997. Among the guests at the intimate affair, 11 were De Niro's actor buddies, Harvey Keitel and Joe Pesci.
Guests enjoyed a five-course meal consisting of wakame and lobster in rice paper and chick breast with a quince stuffing with cranberries – and listened to Pesci jokes until past midnight. "There were congratulations all around," said an employee at PEOPLE.
This fall it was revealed that the newlyweds were pregnant with their first child and in March 1998 they welcomed their son Elliot.
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A battle for the guard
In August 1999, De Niro filed for Hightower's divorce. "Bobby just did not work hard enough when he married Grace," said a friend of De Niro at the time.
They were co-sentenced with Elliot for more than a year until June 2001, when a battle for the guard began. Hightower accused De Niro of rubbing shoulders with another woman on a family yacht trip (a source said at the time that the woman "was helping her to open and close the bathroom door") and to excessive consumption denied. He alleged that Hightower had a violent temper.
At an in camera hearing in July, a judge ordered a mental health expert to assess De Niro and Hightower before the next court date.
The couple leaving for dinner at N.Y.C. in November 2003.
Arnaldo Magnani / Getty
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Renewed relationship
But the couple is reconciled and has never finalized his divorce. In 2004, De Niro and Hightower renewed their vows in front of their famous friend, including Tom Brokaw, Martin Scorsese, Meryl Streep and Ben Stiller. Two judges were present to officiate as the guests gathered around an indoor pool to watch the two players re-engage one another. "They can make sure it sticks," joked De Niro about the officiants.
De Niro and Hightower at the 2004 Tribeca Film Festival in N.Y.C.
Jim Spellman / WireImage
A new baby
With their relationship back on solid ground, De Niro and Hightower welcomed a second child, their daughter Helen, via the surrogate mother in 2011. When he chatted with PEOPLE about a 2014 HBO documentary honoring his late father, Robert De Niro Sr., the Goodfellas alum opened on life as a father of six.
"Sometimes you're the last person they want to deal with," he said of his children. "It's like when you drive your kids to school and they grow up and they do not want to hold your hand or kiss you goodbye." He was delighted to start the process with his young daughter. "It's good now," he said.
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Another split
De Niro has remained largely deprived of his life with Hightower in recent years, aside from revealing in 2016 that their son Elliot is autistic. "Grace and I have an autistic child and we think it's essential that all issues surrounding the causes of autism be discussed and discussed openly," said De Niro in a statement in the middle of the year. a controversy surrounding the planned but canceled projection of the vaccination documentary Vaxxed at his Tribeca Film Festival.
Hightower and De Niro.
Ronald Siemoneit / Sygma / Sygma / Getty
He and Hightower were last seen together in public on the red carpet in June at the 72nd Annual Tony Awards in New York. Five months later, a family source confirmed to PEOPLE that these two people separated and lived separately. "Sometimes things do not happen the way you want or want," the insider said.
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