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Absurdly leads look at the business world with a skeptical eye and a language firmly rooted in the cheek.
It's an American tradition.
You get up early on a black friday morning and you'll find the kind of deal that you would only want America to spend with the rest of the world.
Yes, many retailers have moved the experience to Thursday night, testing the loyalty of the nation.
However, I had heard that this Friday morning could reveal some extra stuff, ones that were a little more understated.
So I was exactly at 8 pm on Black Friday, arriving at a Walmart in Tempe, Arizona.
There were a lot of cars on the parking lot. The barricades, however, were well leaning against a wall, unwanted.
I could not see any blood on them. Maybe the night before was ordered.
As I headed for the door, a man rushed out. He was pushing a cart in which there were many large purchases, including two microwaves.
My shoulders twitched a little. I should be on my guard. I should be ready to at least push, shove and grab bargains.
And then I was struck by a strange void.
Not just in my stomach, but in this Walmart.
It was as if the party was over and there were only a few people left with the hangover.
Every customer I saw was alone. Save for a woman who brought her two dogs.
"I'm driving one of them," she tells me.
It seemed like a good time to teach the dog to maneuver in the aisle of cosmetics.
It was strange to walk down the aisles, trying to find something that looked like a bargain.
The most attractive, perhaps, was a sweatshirt adorned with words Get Blitzed. What was so special about this shirt? There was a pocket at the stomach where you could put some beer.
I wandered to the electronics department. There, a Walmart employee was recovering from the previous evening.
"More good deals," he says. "More TVs at $ 99. One guy took four last night."
"Is this allowed?" I asked him.
"We are talking about limited numbers, we are not talking about a limited number of people."
"But were these TVs good?"
"I buy a $ 400 TV and it's great – it's all I need," he said.
What were all these isolated individuals looking for walking slowly through the store? Or was it really their Friday ritual?
What could they expect to find at 8 o'clock in the morning? Or was it just something to do because they were alone?
At the checkout, I asked another Walmart employee how the Thanksgiving night had treated him.
"It was OK," she says. "Nothing to do with the past When I started here five years ago, there were waiting lines all around the store, we had to close all the aisles and the police controlled who could go. or."
"Last night was not like that, and all these barricades outside?"
"I did not need it, it's the Internet," she explained.
Yes, a man had his four TVs at $ 99, but there had been no rout, no fight, no real rush.
What people really wanted, they bought online. Unless, maybe, that they want one of these leaders and that they want it now.
Black Friday at Walmart was a Friday. Then it became a Thursday night trick. Now, this is not just a thing more.
I left the store, a little disappointed.
I admit however that I have made a good deal. A tube of Aquafresh toothpaste. Only $ 1.69.
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