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All the gossip about Shawn Mendes' personal life – from her relationship with Hailey Baldwin to speculation about her sexuality – caused a lot of stress and anxiety to the young singer.
"I would like to say that I do not care, but that's not true," said the 20-year-old pop star in a cover story for Rolling stoneThe December issue.
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Having previously denied that Baldwin and he were more than good friends – despite the fact that they stand hand-in-hand at parties, being cuddled in Canada and even going to the Met Gala 2018 together – the singer from "Lost in Japan" finally admits that something more was happening. .
"I do not even want to put a title on it. I think it was no longer an area of limbo, "he revealed, pointing out that they were more than just friends but refusing to define their relationship.
Mendes went on to explain that he also understood why people were assuming that he was upset by Baldwin's hot relationship with Justin Bieber, with whom she is now married, while their newly discovered love affair was made public shortly afterwards. the big night of Mendes and Baldwin at the Met.
Shawn Mendes
Ruven Afanador
"I understand, you know," he remarked before pointing out that he was still thinking about the 22-year-old model. "I sent a text message to Hailey:" Congratulations "and I'm really happy for them. She's still one of the coolest people in the world – she's not only a visually beautiful person, but she's one of the most beautiful hearts I've ever met. "
"I think I'm an idiot for not, you know … But you can not control your heart," he continued without giving more details.
Shawn Mendes and Hailey Baldwin
Stephen Lovekin / Variety / Shutterstock
RELATED: Hailey Baldwin removes Instagram photos from Shawn Mendes while romance with Justin Bieber
Mendes, who has never had a public appointment since the beginning of his career, admitted that speculation about his sexuality was another source of intrigue in which it was difficult to navigate.
"In the back of my heart, I feel like I need to be seen in public with a girl, like a girl, to prove to people that I'm not gay," he said. .
The singer added that "although in my heart I know it's not a bad thing," there's still a part of me that thinks that, and I hate that side of me.
Elsewhere in the profile, Mendes is still criticized for sinking into confusion one night after seeing so many young couples together online.
"I had this thought," I have to make paparazzi with someone. Who will I get? I am irrelevant, "he said, adding that he had quickly quieted down. "I was like, & # 39;Ugh, you are silly. Why did you think that? "
ASSOCIATED VIDEO: Shawn Mendes calls Hailey Baldwin a "friend": "We were not doing our grand premiere" at the Met Gala
Mendes, who addressed his sexuality directly in a series of Snapchat videos recorded in 2016, then revealed to Rolling stone that he made the decision to record the videos after reading a flood of comments on YouTube.
"I thought," You're so lucky that I'm not really gay and terrified of going out, "he said. "It's something that kills people. It's so sensitive. Do you like songs? M & # 39; do you like? Who cares if I am gay? "
However, even though Mendes categorically denied being gay in the videos – and added that "it should not make any difference if I was or was not," Snapchat's videos did not end speculation about his sexuality.
And then, an Instagram of Taylor Swift, featuring the singer wearing a sparkling eye makeup, has only fueled the story.
Although Mendes said he did not think about how Swift published the picture at that time, he woke up that night with cold sweats and "felt sick."
"I was like" F-, why did I let her post that? "I just fed the fire that terrifies me," he pointed out, before he started. add that he had finally calmed down and that he was feeling happy with the post, explaining that as a kid who was making up glitter to entertain his parents.
Reflecting on his education, Mendes added that he had grown up with his 15 cousins, "his braided hair and his nail painting". "Maybe I'm a little bit more feminine, but that's how it is. That's why I am me.
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