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I see a new dinosaur movie released, another in the long series of films "Jurassic" – "Jurassic Park", "Jurassic World", "Jurassic Oceanfront Resort, luxury condos starting at $ 300K" etc.
Being a dinosaur fan back, I wanted to know more, so I managed to get an interview with my favorite movie star: the favorite dinosaur of all, Tyrannosaurus rex!
Hello, Mr. Rex, I said when I got him on the phone. How are you today?
"Very good," he replied. "Just hanging out by the pool, reading the reviews, they're still the same, too much about the special effects, not enough on my game."
Thank you, sir, for granting this interview.
"Tell you the truth, the studio had to talk to me there .. I'm not really comfortable with you humans."
Really? Why not?
"The indignities that you have spoiled have subjected us, through the years, to dig our skeletons and put them in museums .. To have our bony self leaning on our hind paws, as if we were something d & # 39; A Horror Movie How did it please you if someone had stuck your grandfather's skeleton for people to see it?
We really like dinosaurs. [19659002] "I always thought you were smiling at us and thinking," You are extinct and we are not, nyahh, nyahh. ""
Absolutely not. We are excited to see you on the screen now. Wow, a living tyrannosaurus rex!
"It's another thing, what is there with this thing" Tyrannosaurus "I hate that name. Of course, I made enemies when I was the king of the dinosaurs, it's lonely at the top of the food chain.But "tyrant" is a little too much.Call me by my good name. "
Tyrannosaurus is not your real name?
"Of course not, what mother would name her son" Tyrannosaurus "
OK, what is it?
"Reginald."
Reginald? Reginald Rex?
"You have it."
It does not matter, in all these "Jurassic" movies …
"And there is something else … This Jurassic thing … That's not the time I lived in. from the Cretaceous period.They should have following the "Cretaceous World" now, but no.I get on the set and I think who are these guys? met half before. "
We all love great classmates. Even the movies "Godzilla".
"Godzilla? Do not talk to me about Godzilla.Let me tell you a secret about Godzilla – he's not real.This is a guy in a lizard suit."
Now , Ty – I mean, Reginald – scientists tell us that dinosaurs were much more advanced than we thought.
"We were smart enough, you know, all but Stegosaurus, we used to tell jokes about him How many Stegosaurs does it take to make a fossil?"
J & # 39; abandoned.
"Three, one to die and two to make him lie down after, ha ha!" Was a nice boy, however, give him the plates on his back. "
And is this true that we now think that some dinosaurs had feathers?
"It was my cousin, Eunice, who loved to wear a boa of feathers when she went out on Saturday night."
Still, you dinosaurs did not create a civilization as we humans did. "
" The devil we do not have. We had everything humans had, only better. Bowling, talk shows, light rail, chili dogs, work. "
It's amazing, how come we have never found any fossil evidence?"
"As I said, we did better. You humans have only been there for millennia, and you've already erased the planet with your garbage. We gathered and said, look, we will run this planet for a hundred million years, do not do any damage. So we perfected recycling. Made everything biodegradable. We put our old furniture on the compost pile, and it sank to dust in a few years. And none of these plastic foam cheeseburger containers, either. "
It's hard to believe.
" I could show you some videos, but our DVD players did not use the same format as yours. [19659002] One last question: we still do not know why the dinosaurs are gone
"You only think that we have become extinct. We just left.
Left?
"The old quarter was no longer what it was. All these mammals are installing, dropping their hair everywhere. It seemed like it was just a moment before little bullshit arrived, digging up and calling us names in Latin. So we moved to the suburbs. "
What suburbs?
" You call it planet Jupiter. It was a big spaceship "honkin" that we had. Gee, I guess I told you the title of our next movie. "
Who is?
" Jurassic Planet. "
Gabriele can be contacted by email at getserioustony @ gmail.com.
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