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Readers share their advice in dealing with authoritarian parents to cook – and talk – with children
Dear Carolyn
While I am away, readers give advice.
To help someone get help: [19659005] Carolyn often writes about helping someone with depression find a therapist. I am now on four days, four hours of online research, nine unsuccessful phone calls, and 10 minutes waiting (and counting) to try to find my brother a therapist after he finally – finally – agreed to see someone and perhaps take medication for depression, anxiety and panic attacks that he has been suffering for over 16 years. I spoke with a low cost center near him; they are reserved four months. I spoke with a therapist in private practice – a month on the outside. These are the only people who have won nine phone calls! (Now, 14 minutes of waiting …)
It seems that he is not sick enough so that someone can help him immediately, he is not threatening himself or do not threaten others. He's not in good health, he's worse than he's been in a few years, and by the time his appointment arrives, he may be too depressed to get up and leave or he can feel good enough to think that he does not need it.
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What I mean, is that these barriers to entry are real and that they are frustrating for people who are not currently suffering from any kind of disability. a mental health problem. He would never do this job. He does not have the ability to try so much for his own health. That's the very question we need to solve. So, if someone you love needs help, if you can, if he allows you, take over. And put on your Badass Pants, because you will have to push to get what you need.
– M.
On the ultimate answer to upstart parents:
This is the season when people are rude, obnoxious and insensitive parents come out of the woods and find every way imaginable to ride your bumper. I've had a lot of experience trying to repel these clumps for years. When I protest, they ignore my queries and find new ways to torment. There is no way you can hurt their feelings, they hear as much as a robot. Strong language has not discouraged, and they take every opportunity to seize personal domains that do not concern them.
I have four such parents with absolutely no tact, finesse or basic manners. When you have repeated without stopping to someone again and again, and that they always refuse to be enlightened, it is time to stop giving them access.
Life can be happy when you refuse to let others manage your health, your weight, where you live and what you do
– No longer be plucked to death by chickens
:
I advise parents to cook their children with them. My two sons helped me prepare dinner, and by chopping vegetables or making salad or whatever we had, they just rolled over in a normal conversation. I rarely asked about their day, because they normally told me so, sometimes things I did not want to know – but I never commented negatively on them and I often bitten my tongue
.
– E.
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