Ariana Grande, Mac Miller, "Yoko Effect", Women in Toxic Relationships – Rolling Stone



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The relationship between Mac Miller and Ariana Grande has been unusual under the tabloid radar for most of their two-year track record. It was their breakup in May that finally drew the public's attention, all the more so that she was followed eight days later by Miller, crushing his car in a state of disrepair. drunk and, a few weeks later, Grande was betrothed. SNL star Pete Davidson.

"It's the most heartbreaking thing happening in Hollywood," Twitter user Elijah Flint wrote last May. Flint, like many suspected Miller fans (as well as casual tabloid fans), has not found the broken heart in Miller's ongoing fight against addiction – a battle that's going on. he has explored in his music for years – that a woman like Great could, according to Flint, brutally transform a man's muse to find love with someone else. " other.

Flint's tweet was not the only comment of its kind at the time, but it was the only one that Grande had answered. In a long application of notes, the 25-year-old singer explained how terrifying it was to be a partner of someone with addiction. She never described Miller other than as a person she loved and cared deeply about and who was suffering from an illness she did not master.

"How absurd is it to downplay women's self-respect and self-esteem by saying that someone should stay in a toxic relationship because he wrote an album about them?" , she wrote, noting that a single Miller song Divine Feminine was explicitly about it. "I am not a babysitter or a mother and no woman should feel that I should be."

When Miller tragically died of a suspicious overdose on Friday, Grande's name was immediately on Twitter. Not only did many of them dilute his legacy to become a boyfriend of a popular singer, but others decided to blame Grande. Her Comments on Instagram and Twitter mentions was immediately filled with sexist insults, slanderous claims that she murdered him and exasperated exclamations of pain and finger reproach. Even the wording of TMZ's article – where the news of Miller's death broke for the first time – implied that their breakup was the main reason for Miller's new spiral of dependence this year. She turned off comments on her Instagram soon after and has since only returned to the app to post a sweet photo of Miller with what appears to be her own sneakers coming out of the bottom of the frame, indicating that he It was an image that she herself had taken of their time together.

Great is not the first woman to carry the weight of the demons of a romantic partner on his shoulder. Especially where celebrity and fandom are involved, the headlines about betrayal and grief seem to be a more tangible tragedy cause than the fact that no matter what their support, even the strongest of our heroes can lose the fighting. And because, in this case, Grande had very publicly decided to meet the man she called her "soul mate," her outward happiness was enough proof for the most misogynistic commentators that Miller's fall was his fault.

Such claims emanate from the most dangerous branch of pop culture, namely the continued fascination with the so-called "Yoko effect" and its desire to connect female partners to actions they may not understand. These claims and conspiracies – often only perpetrated by the most virulent factions of the fandoms – sometimes never disappear. Even Courtney Love continues to send comments on social media and conspiracy theories on blogs, saying that not only was Kurt Cobain addicted to heroin (she was not) but that she had murdered him and simulated his suicide (also false). Cobain died two decades before these social media platforms even exist, but the fact that Love's comments may still attract a thug like this says a lot about how society continues to wait for that women can not apparently absorb the pain of their partners.

Meanwhile, many fans of Miller and Grande – as well as those who witnessed the nasty comments cast on her – came to her defense. Even Flint, the Twitter user who has already connected the couple to Miller's car accident, has changed his mind.

"I'm only going to say it once, it's not Ariana's fault and, anyway, that unfortunately proves the very real nature of the things she's been tweeting me," he wrote.

"It's all positive energy," Miller said earlier in an interview with Beats 1 on Grande's engagement, before going out Swimming, his last album. His comments reflected what Grande continued to say in his note on their breakup. She had always prayed for her sobriety and had taken great care of him, and given the many years in which they knew each other, it is hard to believe that these assertions are anything but true.

"I'm happy that she is progressing in her life," he continued, "just as I'm sure she's with me."

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