Chrissy Teigen on her postpartum depression: cooking "felt like torture"



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Before receiving a diagnosis of postpartum depression in 2017, Chrissy Teigen noticed that her passion for cooking was diminishing.

"I started to look at the food and I thought," I'm not in the mood. " It's like going to the grocery store when you're full. You just do not want the same things. The food was not so exciting for me, "she told PEOPLE for this week's cover story. "It was one of the first times I knew something was wrong."

At the time, shortly after giving birth to her 2-year-old daughter Luna, she was preparing recipes for her second cookbook, Cravings: hungry for more, following his 2016 New York Times Bestseller Cravings. Unusually, work was something she was beginning to fear.

RELATED: Chrissy Teigen opens on food, family and wants a "ton of kids"

"When I did not feel well, being in the kitchen was like torture. It was like such a job and you want to be excited when you're in the kitchen, "she says. "I cook because I love food and I love to eat. It makes me happy to serve people. And when you do not feel like that, it was like torture.

  • To learn more about Chrissy Teigen, plus our 49 other Food Faves, find this week's issue of PEOPLE on Friday's booths.

Even simple tasks like leaving the house were difficult. "I was asking people who came inside why they were wet. It was raining? How could I know – I had all the shades closed, "she wrote in an essay for Charm. "Most days were exactly the same place on the couch and I rarely managed to gather the necessary energy to go to bed. John slept on the couch with me, sometimes four nights in a row. There was a lot of spontaneous crying.

But with a diagnosis came relief. He was prescribed an antidepressant and asked for the help of a therapist. (Teigen said CBS Sunday morning She believes she has avoided the PPD a second time by eating her placenta after giving birth to Miles, 4 months. As she recovered, her energy and appetite slowly returned to normal.

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"When Chrissy lives his best life, food is part of it," says Adeena Sussman, co-author of Teigen, who moved in with the couple while working on Cravings and Want 2. "It was great to see her choose that love for food and run with her when she felt better."

Teigen says, "It was like riding a bike. It was as if nothing had happened. And the end result – filled with delicious recipes like her Egg Mozzarella ham cups (get the recipe below) and adorable family photos – is exactly what she imagined.

"I'm so glad we did not run in this book," she says. "And I'm very grateful to everyone around me for taking a break until we could do our best Cravings. "

Cups of ham from Chrissy

Cooking spray
6 thin slices of cured ham, dried
½ cup finely diced mozzarella cheese or tiny mozzarella cheese balls (4 oz)
½ cup cherry tomatoes or diced tomatoes cut in half (3 oz)
2 tablespoons. pesto bought in store
2 tablespoons. fresh breadcrumbs
½ teaspoon kosher salt, divided
½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, divided
6 big eggs
6 cups mixed salad
2 tablespoons. extra virgin olive oil
1 tbsp. Red wine vinegar

1. Preheat the oven to 400 °. Coat 6 cups of a standard nonstick muffin pan with a cooking spray. Tuck a slice of ham into each muffin pan, trying to make as many cups as possible, with the edges protruding from the top.
2. Mix the mozzarella, tomatoes, pesto and breadcrumbs in a bowl. Season with ¼ teaspoon of salt and pepper. Divide the mixture into the ham slices. Carefully break 1 egg into each cup. Bake in preheated oven until tomato juice is bubbling lightly and egg whites are hardened, about 15 minutes.
3. Mix the salads, oil, vinegar and the remaining ¼ teaspoon of salt and pepper in a large bowl to obtain a simple salad. Let the ham slices cool slightly, 1 to 2 minutes. Unmould them by sliding a knife under the cups and gently transferring them to a plate. Serve with dressed green vegetables.
Dessert: 6
Active time: 10 minutes
Total time: 25 minutes

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