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It was a sunny winter day at the end of July and Seth's mental state was rapidly declining.
"He was there, breaking it in your head, saying to kill you, and I knew I could," he said.
Seth had known the ups and downs of severe depression for a decade, but that day, home alone, his thoughts were the darkest of their lives.
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"I was really scared, I was going … trying to kill myself."
"I wanted, but I did not want to, I have two young children."
Instead, Seth went outside and cut his little finger with his right hand.
"I did not want to do it, in the end it was a choice between me losing weight physically or committing suicide, there was no other way [option] … so I did that. "
At first, Seth did not feel the pain, he experienced dissociation: all the fear and anxiety evaporated.
The pain that followed was unbearable.
Builders who worked on the other side of the road came to help him. He told them that it was an accident and they called an ambulance.
When the paramedics arrived, Seth told him what had happened.
"I immediately notified the ambo," he says.
"I could not find my finger and at that moment, I did not care.
"I just wanted to go to the hospital to get treatment at the hospital."
Seth was taken directly to the Royal Hobart Hospital.
He was admitted to the surgery department where he was treated for his injury before being transferred to the Psychiatry Unit, where he received the mental health treatment he desperately needed.
He thought suicide was not enough to get him through the door.
"I was in such a state and I was just scared that if I was in the hospital and I was killing myself, I would be alone," he said.
Self-harm after two previous visits to the emergency
Seth had reason to think that he would not get the care he needed by going to the Royal as a patient with mental illness.
In the weeks leading up to that day, he had asked for help at the hospital and said he had not received the care he needed.
On his first visit, he spent 12 hours in the emergency room.
"It's brilliant, it's noisy, it's confusing, I started to lose it," he said.
The sedatives he had been given began to fade and he spent several hours drawing the attention of nurses and doctors in the department.
"It was one o'clock in the morning and nothing had been done, I was afraid to get stuck there," he said.
"I just needed to sleep, so I got dressed and I packed my stuff and I just went out."
The second time he tried to get help at the Royal, it was two days before he cut his finger.
He was in bad shape.
He again asked for help in the emergency but spent hours waiting.
"I was panicked to the point where I could no longer move and be in a fetal ball on the hall of the emergency room, cradling and banging my head against objects," she said. he declared.
Seth stated that he was handcuffed by police officers who were in the emergency at the time and that he remembered being shouted to calm himself down.
"So what [I was] to be tied to a bed … and injected something, "he said.
Upon waking, a novice clinician asked him if he was drinking alcohol.
"I was still groggy with sedatives and I could not really express myself," Seth said.
He said, "You are an addict and an alcoholic," he gave me a piece of paper and sent me away.
Photo:
Psychiatric patients made beds while waiting to be seen at the Royal in September. (Provided)
Seth thinks that had he been admitted to the psychiatric ward during these visits, he would not have taken what he now describes as the irrational decision to cut off a finger.
"You can only get help if you are in crisis, but only the right kind of crisis," he said.
"It does not seem like you were bleeding to death, when you entered the hospital, you are discarded.
"The only thing I could think of … the only way to recognize myself and hold my attention was to hurt myself so that I could not be repaired urgently."
Seth talked about his experience because he wants to see a change.
"In recent years, I have met several people who have tried to benefit from assistance … but this is just not enough," he said.
"There are many more suicidal deaths than people know, and we do not really count them because they are people who are marginalized in society, they are not famous."
"We know that there is still a lot to do in this space"
Tasmania has the lowest percentage of active psychiatric beds in the country, along with one of the oldest, sickest, and poorest populations.
Photo:
The Royal has always had bed block problems, often causing a "ramp" of ambulances. (ABC News)
Tasmania has 71 active psychiatric beds across the country, including 33 at the Royal.
Until 2013, the Royal had 42 beds, but their number had been reduced under the Labor and Liberal governments.
Physicians called for the reinstatement of acute care beds, saying the reduction resulted in long wait times at the Royal Emergency Department.
Last month, the CBA revealed that psychiatric patients had used towels and blankets for their makeshift beds when they had been forced to wait for long periods.
In August, a naval veteran who tried to commit suicide received a bus ticket and was sent home because he did not have enough beds to enter a neighborhood.
A spokesman for the state government said he had not disclosed the personal medical details of each patient.
He added:
"We are aware of this patient and his concerns and he has met the Minister's Office and the Chief Psychiatrist.
"We are focused on reducing suicide and improving our responses to suicide prevention, including key initiatives such as the referral service for early intervention suicide prevention, the communication charter on the prevention of suicide. mental health and suicide prevention recently published by Tasman, as well as additional resources for local community organizations.
"We know that there is still a lot to do in this space, which is why we are achieving our $ 95 million plan for a better mental health system."
The government has promised to open 25 beds in mental health, but we do not know when.
Topics:
Mental Health,
health,
health facilities,
Health Administration,
states and territories,
suicide,
doctors and health professionals,
heap
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