The 32-year-old recluse was removed from the scene after capturing far too many years ago. As of 2010, the former Nickelodeon star made headlines for her strange behavior, her mysterious tweets and her many legal problems, but she is ready to put all this in the past. Bynes, a student at the Los Angeles Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising, is receiving her Artistic Merchandise Development Associate this month, but wants to return to the theater eight years after her retirement on Twitter.
In a rare and frank interview with Paper magazine, Bynes opened about his private struggles that have become so public. L & # 39; former All that The star revealed that she had become depressed after her 2006 film She is the man, in which she played a teenager dressed in drag to pretend to be her brother.
"I stayed in a deep depression for four to six months because I did not like my appearance when I was a child," she told herself, adding that seeing herself with short hair and paws was "A very strange and extravagant thing. body experience. It really put me in the funk. …
"I started smoking marijuana at the age of 16. Even though everyone thought I was the" good girl ", I smoked marijuana at from then on, "she continued. "I did not become addicted [then] and I did not abuse it. And I did not go out to party or ridicule myself … again. "
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Amanda Bynes for Paper Magazine
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#BreaktheInternet: Amanda Bynes. After spending years away from the spotlight, Bynes returns and explains his tumultuous – and remarkable – journey. #linkinbio
History of @ abbyschreiber28
Photos by @daniellelevitt
Artistic direction of @dwndwntwn
Styling by @neverhavetotweet
Hair by @samiknighthair
Makeup by @edwardcruzmakeup
Scenography of @_coopervasquez_
Fashion Direction: @miaasolkin
Amanda, do you like it! #breaktheinternet
"I do not fear anything for the future, I have experienced the worst, I went to the other end and I have survived, so I have the impression that it's only from here. " #amandabynes #breaktheinternet #linkinbio
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Bynes explained that smoking grass ended up "turning into molly and ecstasy".
"[I tried] cocaine three times but I never took cocaine. I have never liked that. It was never my drug of choice, "she added. Instead, she began taking regular Adderall, an amphetamine-based stimulant used to treat people with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). . "I have definitely abused Adderall," she noted, remembering that she had heard about the prescription medication after reading an article calling Adderall "the new lean pill".
"I thought," Well, I to have get hold of it, "said Bynes. She was able to obtain a prescription after consulting "a psychiatrist and simulated the symptoms of ADD". Bynes thinks that Adderall played a role in his behavior during the shooting while filming. Hall Pass in the spring of 2010, at the same time that his antics behind the scenes began to infiltrate the tabloids.
"When I was doing Hall PassI remember being in the caravan and I chew Adderall tablets because I thought [more] high [that way], "she says," I remember biting a bunch of them and literally having my brain cut off and not being able to concentrate on my lines or memorizing them in the same way. opportunity."
During the shoot, Bynes was reminded to "have seen my image on the screen and literally stumbled into thinking that my arm was so big because it was in the foreground or whatever and I remember being thrown off the board thinking, "Oh my god, I look so bad. & # 39; "
It's "the mixture of being so high that I did not remember my lines and I did not like my appearance" which caused Bynes to withdraw from the film. At about the same time, rumors were circulating that she was fired, which she denied.
"I made many mistakes but I was not fired," acknowledged Bynes. "I left … it was absolutely unprofessional for me to leave and get stuck when they had spent so much money on a set, crew, camera equipment, and so on.
However, he had played with Emma Stone in 2010 Easy this prompted Bynes to stop acting for good.
"I literally could not stand my appearance in this movie and I did not like my performance. I was absolutely convinced that I had to stop acting after seeing her, "she explained. "I was rich in marijuana when I saw that, but for some reason, it really started to affect me. I do not know if it was a drug-induced psychosis or anything, but it affected my brain in a different way than other people. It absolutely changed my perception of things. "
She continued, "I saw her and I was convinced that I should never be filmed again. I officially retired on Twitter, which was, you know, so stupid. If I were going to retire [the right way]I would have done it in a press release – but I did it on Twitter. Really chic! But you know, I was high and I thought, "You know what? I am so overwhelmed that I just did it. But it was really silly and I see it now. I was young and stupid. "
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LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – AUG 25: Amanda Bynes is seen on August 25, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo of Bauer-Griffin / GC Images)
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – JULY 23: Former actress Amanda Bynes attends the Michael Costello and Style PR Capsule Collection launch party on July 23, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by David Livingston / Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 06: Amanda Bynes attends NYLON magazine's IT Girl Party at Gilded Lily on October 6, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz / Getty Images for NYLON)
NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 06: Actress Amanda Bynes is seen with friends at Soho on October 6, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Raymond Hall / GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 06: Actress Amanda Bynes is seen with friends at Soho on October 6, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Raymond Hall / GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY – OCT. 06: Actress Amanda Bynes is seen in Soho on October 6, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Raymond Hall / GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 06: Actress Amanda Bynes make up outside at Soho on October 6, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Raymond Hall / GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 06: Actress Amanda Bynes make up outside at Soho on October 6, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Raymond Hall / GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 06: Actress Amanda Bynes is seen with friends at Soho on October 6, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Raymond Hall / GC Images)
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – OCTOBER 10: Amanda Bynes is seen in Los Angeles on October 10, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by GVK / Bauer-Griffin / GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 06: Actress Amanda Bynes make up outside at Soho on October 6, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Raymond Hall / GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 06: Actress Amanda Bynes is seen with friends at Soho on October 6, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Raymond Hall / GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 06: Actress Amanda Bynes is seen with friends at Soho on October 6, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Raymond Hall / GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 06: Actress Amanda Bynes is seen with friends at Soho on October 6, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Raymond Hall / GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 06: Actress Amanda Bynes is seen with friends at Soho on October 6, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Raymond Hall / GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 06: Actress Amanda Bynes make up outside at Soho on October 6, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Raymond Hall / GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 06: Actress Amanda Bynes make up outside at Soho on October 6, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Raymond Hall / GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 06: Actress Amanda Bynes is seen with friends at Soho on October 6, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Raymond Hall / GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 06: Actress Amanda Bynes is seen with friends at Soho on October 6, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Raymond Hall / GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 06: Amanda Bynes attends NYLON magazine's IT Girl Party at Gilded Lily on October 6, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz / Getty Images for NYLON)
NEW YORK, NY – JULY 09: Actress Amanda Bynes attends a court appearance in Manhattan Criminal Court on July 9, 2013 in New York. Bynes faces charges of reckless endangerment, manipulation of evidence and criminal possession of marijuana in connection with his arrest on May 23, 2013. (Photo by Raymond Hall / FilmMagic)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA – APRIL 6: In this document image provided by the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Office, actress Amanda Bynes is pictured on a photo of the police who booked the car on April 6, 2012 at West Hollywood, California. Bynes was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol. (Photo by Los Angeles County Sheriff's Office via WireImage)
NEW YORK, NY – MAY 24: Actress Amanda Bynes leaves Manhattan Central Booking after being arrested on May 23, 2013 for alleged charges of endangering, falsifying evidence and criminal detention of marijuana at the Criminal Court of Manhattan May 24, 2013 in New York. (Photo by Alo Ceballos / Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY – JULY 10: AMANDA bynes as seen on July 10, 2013 in New York. (Photo by NCP / Star Max / FilmMagic)
New York, NY – July 09: amanda bynes preview July 9, 2013 in midtown, New York City. Bynes had previously appeared before the Manhattan Criminal Court to face charges of reckless endangerment, falsification of evidence and criminal possession of marijuana as part of his arrest on May 23, 2013. (Photo by Alo Ceballos / FilmMagic )
NEW YORK, NY – JULY 09: Actress Amanda Bynes attends a court appearance in Manhattan Criminal Court on July 9, 2013 in New York. Bynes faces charges of reckless endangerment, manipulation of evidence and criminal possession of marijuana in connection with his arrest on May 23, 2013. (Photo by Raymond Hall / FilmMagic)
NEW YORK, NY – JULY 09: Actress Amanda Bynes appeared in the Manhattan Criminal Court on July 9, 2013 in New York. Bynes faces charges of reckless endangerment, falsification of evidence and criminal possession of marijuana in connection with his arrest on May 23, 2013. (Photo by Ray Tamarra / Getty Images)
New York, NY – July 09: Amanda Bynes arrives for a criminal court appearance in Manhattan on July 9, 2013 in New York. Bynes faces charges of reckless endangering, manipulation of evidence and criminal possession of marijuana due to his arrest on May 23, 2013. (Photo by Dave Kotinsky / Getty Images)
BEVERLY HILLS, CA – MAY 14: Amanda Bynes leaves the Neil George Salon on May 14, 2009 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by OutOfSightMedia / BuzzFoto / FilmMagic)
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA – JUNE 5: Amanda Bynes attends the MTV Movie Awards 2011 on June 5, 2011 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Steve Granitz / WireImage)
LAS VEGAS – OCTOBER 3: Actress Amanda Bynes arrives at the Tao Nightclub at the Venetian Casino Resort Hotel during the Club's Fourth Anniversary Party on October 3, 2009 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller / Getty Images)
Actress Amanda Bynes arrives at the MTV Movie Awards 2011 at the Gibson Amphitheater on June 5, 2011 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff / FilmMagic)
Amanda Bynes and Frankie Muniz at the 11th Anniversary Carnival and Picnic 'A Time For Heroes & # 39; organized by the Elizabeth Glaser Foundation Pediatric Aids Foundation on the Ken Robert Estate at Mandeville Canyon, Los Angeles, California.
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA – AUGUST 14: Actress Amanda Bynes poses in the press room at the 2005 Teen Choice Awards held at the Gibson Amphitheater at Universal CityWalk on August 14, 2005 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison / Getty Images)
Amanda Bynes at what a girl wants the cast members to appear at Planet Hollywood at Planet Hollywood in New York, New York, USA. (Photo by Lawrence Lucier / FilmMagic)
Amanda Bynes at the fifth luncheon and annual fashion show dedicated to lullabies and lust for families and children with AIDS at the Regent Beverly Wilshire Hotel in Beverly Hills, California, USA. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff / FilmMagic)
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA – AUGUST 14: Actors Shawn Wayans, Amanda Bynes and Marlon Wayans present a stage award at the 2005 Teen Choice Awards at Universal City Walk's Gibson Amphitheater on August 14, 2005 at Universal City, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter / Getty Images)
MIAMI – FEBRUARY 06: Vanessa Minnillo and Amanda Bynes attend the 2010 Maxim Party at The Raleigh on February 6, 2010 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Jean Vallery / Getty Images for Maxim)
MIAMI – FEBRUARY 06: Actress Amanda Bynes attends the 2010 Maxim Party at The Raleigh on February 6, 2010 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Jean Vallery / Getty Images for Maxim)
NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 17: Amanda Bynes attends the "See Now, Wear Now" Ann Taylor, Fall 2009 Parade at the New York Public Library – Celeste Bartos Forum, September 17, 2009 in New York City. (Photo of Slaven Vlasic / WireImage for Shadow PR)
NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 13: Actress Amanda Bynes attends the MTV Video Music Awards 2009 at Radio City Music Hall on September 13, 2009 in New York. (Photo by Jeffrey Mayer / WireImage)
NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 13: Actress Amanda Bynes at Bryant Park on September 13, 2009 in New York. (Photo by Gustavo Caballero / Getty Images)
NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 13: Actress Amanda Bynes poses for a photo at the MTV Video Music Awards 2009 at Radio City Music Hall on September 13, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Christopher Polk / Getty Images)
NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 13: Actress Amanda Bynes (left) poses with designer Max Azria at the Herve Leger Spring 2010 Parade on the Promenade at Bryant Park on September 13, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Bryan Bedder / Getty Images for Herve Leger)
NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 10: Lyn Collins, actress Amanda Bynes, actress Joanna Garcia and singer Solange Knowles attend the BCBG Max Azria Spring 2010 fashion show at the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week tent. Benz at Bryant Park on September 10, 2009 in New York, New York. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz / Getty Images for BCBG Max Azria)
NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 12: Actress Hilary Duff and actress Amanda Bynes are seen around Bryant Park on September 12, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by John Parra / WireImage)
NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 12: Amanda Bynes and Kelly Rutherford attend the QVC Style Live celebration at the 2010 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in Bryant Park on September 12, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Johnny Nunez / WireImage)
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA – AUGUST 09: Actress Amanda Bynes goes to the Teen Choice Awards 2009 which is being held at the Gibson Amphitheater on August 9, 2009 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Steve Granitz / WireImage)
June 6, 2009 Brentwood, Ca .; Amanda Bynes; 8th Annual Chrysalis Butterfly Ball; Detained in a Private Residence (Photo by Gregg DeGuire / FilmMagic)
CENTURY CITY, CA – MAY 08: Actresses Angie Harmon and Amanda Bynes attend the 16th annual To Erase MS cocktail party co-hosted by Nancy Davis and Tommy Hilfiger at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza on May 8, 2009 in Century City. in California. (Photo by Kevin Winter / WireImage)
CENTURY CITY, CA – MAY 08: Actress Amanda Bynes participates in the 16th edition of the "Race To Erase MS" cocktail co-chaired by Nancy Davis and Tommy Hilfiger at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza on May 8, 2009 in Century City, California . (Photo by Kevin Winter / WireImage)
CENTURY CITY, CA – MAY 08: Actress Amanda Bynes arrives at the 16th annual race to eliminate MS, co-chaired by Nancy Davis and Tommy Hilfiger at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza on May 8, 2009 in Century City, California. California. (Photo by Steve Granitz / WireImage)
NEW YORK, NY – JULY 10: AMANDA bynes as seen on July 10, 2013 in New York. (Photo by NCP / Star Max / FilmMagic)
New York, New York – July 10: Amanda Bynes is seen in Chelsea on July 10, 2013 in New York. (Photo by Alo Ceballos / FilmMagic)
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Bynes suddenly found herself with too much free time, so she "woke up and cooked and was literally stoned all day".
"I had no purpose in life. I worked all my life and [now] I did not do anything, "she explained. Bynes also started hanging out with a "more sown crowd".
"I really got used to drugs and the world became very dark and sad for me," she said. the Hairspray The star summed up her life at the time as a life in which she "was stuck at home, became very strong, watched TV and tweeted".
"I am really ashamed and embarrassed by what I said. I can not go back, but if I could, I would do it. And I'm really sorry for those I hurt and for whom I lied because it really eats me up. It makes me feel so horrible and sick of sadness in my stomach, "continued the actress. "Everything I worked for all my life, ruined everything with Twitter," she added. Twitter fault – it's my fault. "
Bynes has been sober for "almost four years now," ascribing to her parents that she "really helped me get back on track". However, she discards information that she claimed to be grappling with serious mental health problems.
"It's certainly not fun that people are diagnosing you with what they think they are," said Bynes, referring to countless media reports circulating about his state of mind. "It always bothered me. If you refuse anything and tell them what it is, they will not believe you. Really for me [my behavior] was drug induced, and every time I came out of [drugs]I was always back to normal.
"I know my behavior was so strange that people were just trying to figure out what was wrong," admitted Bynes. Now, the former child star is ready to return to the entertainment industry "a bit like I did when I was a kid, with enthusiasm and hope for the best".
"I'm not afraid for the future," she said. "I lived the worst, I went to the other end and I survived, so I feel like it's only from here."
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Bounce Style: Amanda Bynes
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Amanda, 12, is too cute to utter words in a striped top and a purple jumpsuit at a Nickelodeon event.
Amanda comes to the premiere of the Interpolated (and cult favorite) hit, "Snow Day", with an age-appropriate dress and denim jacket combination.
Amanda, 14, launches into the Abercrombie Kids Look in a graphic tank at the Teen Choice Awards.
Remember when growing tops and belts were fashionable.
At age 16, Amanda has her personal style and can usually be seen with separate classics.
Amanda sports a Louis Vuitton logo at the film's premiere.
With blond highlights and a pinstriped blazer, Amanda seems to have grown up at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards.
Amanda is a vision in red at the Teen Choice Awards.
In a rare printed issue, Amanda attends the premiere of "She's the Man".
We love Amanda's mini-skirt look at the premiere of "The Break-Up".
Amanda shows off her fashion skills in this beautiful fringed dress and her heels.
Amanda switches an LBD to the premiere of "Penelope".
In one of our favorite looks, Amanda attends the Teen Choice Awards in a neon bandage dress.
Amanda is sticking to the bandaged dress but is getting awesome with the fringe platforms at the MTV Movie Awards.
Amanda recently appeared with platinum locks and a laid-back casual street style in New York.
