Amanda Bynes talks about her loss



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"I am really ashamed and embarrassed by what I said," said Bynes to Paper Magazine. "I can not go back, but if I could, I'd do it, and I'm really sorry for those who I hurt and for whom I lied, because it really eats me up." It makes me feel so horrible and so sick, and sad, everything I worked for all my life, I ruined everything with Twitter, it's certainly not his fault, it's my fault . "

The former child star, who made herself known in the '90s in shows such as "All That" and "The Amanda Show" of Nickelodeon, said she was sober for four years and that she was currently registered at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising.

In 2014, Bynes was sentenced to three years probation, an alcohol education course and a fine for unscrupulous pleading in recklessness.

She continued to make headlines that year for a series of shocking tweets including false accusations of abuse against her father.

"Everyone is different, of course, but to me, the mix of marijuana and any other drug, sometimes even alcohol, has really spoiled the brain," Bynes explained. "It really made me a completely different person, I'm actually a nice person, I would never feel, say or do any of the things I did and tell people I hurt on Twitter. "

Related: Amanda Bynes Bipolar Diagnosis Becomes Blurry

She said that the combination of marijuana use and a schedule change in her schedule had contributed to her spiral.

"I had no purpose in life, I had worked all my life and [now] I did not do anything, "Bynes continued. I had a lot of time on my arms and I woke up and cooked and I felt literally stoned all day long … [I] I was stuck at home, watching television and tweeting. I have never used heroin, nor methamphetamine, nor anything like that, but some things you think are harmless, they can actually affect you in a more harmful way.

At about the same time, following a psychological assessment and hospitalization, Bynes tweeted – and then deleted – that she had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. In the interview, she said she did not suffer from mental illness.

"It's certainly not fun when people are diagnosing you with what they think you are," said Bynes. "It always bothered me, if you deny anything and tell them what it really is, they do not believe you." In truth, for me, [my behavior] was drug induced, and every time I came out of [drugs]I was always back to normal. I know my behavior was so strange that people were just trying to figure out what was wrong. "

Bynes said she hoped to be able to pull out a line of clothes and start acting again. She also hopes that her experience will serve as a telling story for others.

"Be really careful because you could lose everything and ruin your whole life as I did," she said.

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