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Nick Mullens owes me a gift basket. you want to know why? Because I made him an instant star.
This is true. I have incredible power, superhuman. The teams I think are good, I can make them go wrong and the bad things good. I can dictate the results of the NFL games. Unfortunately, these results are always in direct contradiction with my intention and desire. At least, always on Thursday night.
Nine times this season, I made a choice within the Post. Nine times I lost it. Falcons, crows, throws, vikings, colts, giants, cardinals, dolphins and adventurers have all been victims of the violence of my spell.
Take the last victim on Thursday of my omnipotence reverse, the Raiders, who were stuck last week by the 49ers. Yes, the same 49ers who started quarterback Nick Mullens. Without a doubt, if I had chosen the 49ers, Mullens would have played more like Nathan Peterman than Jimmy Garoppolo. But I chose the Raiders, and now Mullens is on his way to the Hall of Fame.
Mr. Mullens, for my generosity, even by chance, I will thank you in advance for your generous gift, something reciprocal for the incredible gift that I offered you by choosing your opponent.
The good news for punters is: at least I'm reliable. Why trust these people of knowledge who choose about half straight and half bad! Why not just throw a coin? But if you know every time I call the head that the piece magically falls on a tail, is not it more reliable advice, even if you use it as counter-advice? It's like the Midas Anti-touch. If I choose it, do not touch it. Do the opposite. It works every time.
The next victims of Mr. Thursday Naught are the Panthers. I've been better at choosing the Panthers games this season than those on Thursday night – a solid 1-7 … 0-1 for them and 1-6 against.
Thursday, the Panthers get four points in Pittsburgh. This is a Steelers team that has just won a deadly battle on the road against the Ravens, a rival of their rival. The Panthers managed, though carelessly in the second half, to defeat the Buccaneers at home.
The Steelers concede much more than a goal at stake to a 6-2 team, one week after their big win against a hated opponent and in the middle of new or no news about running backsome Le'Veon Bell.
I just can not choose the Steelers here. It does not mean anything. But as this season has proven, none of my choices makes any sense. So it's terrible news for the Panthers.
I'm taking Carolina. Who do you take? And, Nick Mullens, where is this gift basket?
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