BBC – Future – The surprising truth about loneliness


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1. Younger people feel lonelier than older people

The findings in this article are based on an online survey of 55,000 people from around the world, called the "BBC Loneliness Experience." It was created by academics from three British universities in collaboration with Wellcome Collection.

When you imagine someone who is alone, the stereotype is often an elderly person who lives alone and barely sees anyone. Indeed, in the BBC's loneliness experiment, 27% of over-75s reported feeling often or very often alone. This is higher than in some surveys, but because the survey was online, we had a self-selected sample and this could have attracted more people who felt lonely.

Yet the differences between age groups are striking. Levels of loneliness were actually highest among 16-24 year olds, with 40% often or very often feeling lonely.

This raises the question of why so many young people say they feel lonely. Perhaps they are more willing to admit their loneliness than older people who might need to put their independence forward. But it was worth noting that when everyone was asked what time in their lives they felt alone, even in retrospect, the most common response was that of young adults.

So it's not necessarily modern life that makes young people more lonely, but the factors related to their youth. Although we can think that young people between the ages of 16 and 24 have a new freedom to have fun, to leave school and to have more control over their lives, it is also a period of transition. – all this keeps you away from the friends you grew up with. At the same time, people are trying to determine who they are and where they belong in the world.

On top of that, people are not used to these feelings of loneliness and have not yet had the experience of knowing that they often succeed or find ways to cope with those feelings, like having fun or looking for company.

2. 41% of people think loneliness can be positive

This discovery is part of the ideas of people such as the late neuroscientist John Cacioppo, who thought we had evolved to experience loneliness, because it can be useful, even if it is unpleasant. Humans survived by forming cooperative groups. If people feel that they are excluded from a group, the feeling of loneliness can lead them to get in touch with others, to make new friends or to revive old relationships.

The problem is that it can become chronic and have serious consequences for well-being and perhaps even health. The animation below, which we published at the beginning of the project, further explains:

Feelings of chronic loneliness are associated with an increased risk of depression a year later. It is striking to note that while 41% of participants said loneliness could be positive, this rate dropped to 31% among those who said they often felt lonely. Loneliness can be so miserable and painful, that when it is long, it can be difficult to see a positive side.

3. People who feel lonely have social skills that are neither better nor worse than average

Sometimes it is assumed that people are lonely because they have trouble making friends and that help to improve their social skills would make a difference. This is not what we found. A key element of social interaction is the ability to tell what others are feeling, so that you can adjust your responses accordingly. They may be worried about something or you have accidentally offended them.

One way to measure this skill is to give people a series of complete faces or even just pairs of eyes to assess their ability to determine the emotions felt by people. There was no difference between the mean scores of people who often felt alone and those who did not. There were differences in neurosis scores, so perhaps it's anxiety caused by social situations that can make them more difficult to manage if you feel lonely rather than social skills.

4. The winter is not more lonely than any other time of the year

As Christmas approaches, you often see charity campaigns that help seniors present the image of isolated seniors. It's a day of the year dedicated to celebrating your loved ones, so the idea of ​​dealing with itself is something that many people would fear. British actress Sarah Millican leads a very successful #joinin campaign on Twitter on Christmas Day so that people who feel lonely can talk to each other. And if you live in the northern hemisphere, Christmas also falls in the middle of winter when the days are shorter and people stay longer, leaving you even more isolated if you feel lonely.

But we found that for many people who feel lonely, the winter is not worse than any other time of year. We asked people to tell us the time of year and the time of day when they felt the most alone. More than two-thirds of those surveyed said that the winter was no more alone than at any other time of the year. The minority of people who said that a period of the year was lonely chose winter, but a few even chose summer. At Christmas, many people strive to make everyone included, inviting friends to if they know they are alone. But in summer, if everyone goes on vacation, you may be the one to stay. So, maybe we should start wondering if other people might feel lonely all year, rather than just at Christmas.

5. People who often feel alone have more empathy than others

In the survey, two types of empathy were measured. One was empathy for the physical pain of people: what a pity you felt for a person who accidentally slammed their hand in a door, picked up a frying pan or was stung by a wasp. The other was the degree of empathy you have for the social suffering of others – for someone who was bullied at school, who was not invited to a party or thrown by his partner.

There was no difference in empathy for physical pain between people who felt more or less alone. But people who reported feeling often or very often alone got on average more empathy for social pain. Perhaps because they have experienced the feeling of being left behind, they have more compassion for others who find themselves in the same situation.

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