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The president of a local non-profit organization specializing in cancer has found herself on the side of patients after this summer's breast cancer diagnosis.
Shelly Graf, of Sedalia, was diagnosed with breast cancer on June 8 and completed her last radiation treatment Thursday at the Bothwell Regional Health Center.
"I firmly believe that God has a plan and that he prepares you for anything. I felt very prepared, "she said as she heard her diagnosis. "A lot of people talk about breaking and crying and things like that. I never had that, I just said, "OK, what do we have to do?"
As the daughter of a breast cancer survivor, Graf began having an annual mammogram at age 35, earlier than the usual recommendation. It was after his April mammogram when the doctors thought they saw something that caused an ultrasound. Radiologist Bothwell recommended that she wait six months and have a new mammogram, but with her family history, Graf said she was not comfortable with that.
She then went to the Ellis Fischel Cancer Center in Colombia for a second opinion. A biopsy was performed and a tumor was found. An MRI found a second place.
Based on the size of the small tumors, it was recommended that Graf receive radiotherapy, plus one infusion every three weeks for one year.
"Radiation is more difficult than expected," said Graf. "You hear how bad chemotherapy is, most people are just grateful for not having to do it, which I'm grateful for, but radiation therapy is not a piece of cake. It's exhausting. It's wasting just about all the energy you have.
Graf said his diagnosis had been a shock to his family and friends, especially his mother. After this initial shock, they had the right to work as a Graf support team, planning the delivery of meals three times a week and discussing bad days.
"My tribe is strong," said Graf.
One of these members is Whitney Cromley, founder of Cancer Perks, a nonprofit Sedalia organization that provides bags filled with items such as lip balm, candies, lotions, gift cards, rolls of neighborhoods for vending machines, cards, hats, socks and blankets. Cancer patients at Bothwell.
Graf is the president of Cancer Perks, which was part of preparing God's plan, she said.
"The plan has always been that I'm prepared and what better preparation could there be than being the president of an organization that helps cancer patients," she said.
The most important change for Graf was a change of perspective. From the first day, she said she was starting to worry less about things that matter
"From the day of diagnosis in June, I could almost immediately see a change of personality in this regard," she said. "I'm quite tense and type A, but what had thrown me in the past or at work had caused me stress, it's not important."
Along with this new mentality, Graf said he found an objective in his diagnosis: to advocate for cancer patients.
"It was very clear that my goal was to meet Bothwell and do better things for patients undergoing mammography and for others: how do we advocate ourselves, how can we get the information we need? she says. "I thought if I had cancer, I could just as well do something."
She said that this had led to positive discussions with Bothwell staff, and she noted that although she had opted for a second opinion in Colombia, she had been cared for at Bothwell.
While Graf was hoping to reach the end of her cancer journey – Cromley and other friends held a celebratory party on Thursday night for the last day of Graf – she gave two tips to other people on the same journey.
"From beginning to end, from mammograms to diagnosis, my first thing is to be your own lawyer," she said. "Even after being diagnosed, it's not enough to trust doctors, you have to defend yourself and what you need.
"I have learned a very valuable lesson on the acceptance of help," she added. "Accept help because you can not do it yourself."
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