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Best of Late Night
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Colbert on Kavanaugh: "You expect that kind of thing in Dartmouth"
Stephen Colbert read on Monday the graphic details of the new allegations of sexual misconduct over the weekend against Judge Brett Kavanaugh. One of his former classmates from Yale told the New Yorker that he was exposing herself to her at a drunken dorm party.
"Seriously, it's not good, I mean, you expect that kind of thing in Dartmouth, but Yale?" At least, please, tell me that his penis was wearing a knot butterfly. "- STEPHEN COLBERT
"Obviously, this is a disturbing allegation that needs to be examined. You do not want to confirm a pervert to a job where you wear a dress every day. "- STEPHEN COLBERT
Colbert has imagined how recent news must be confusing for President Trump.
"It's not fair that he had only three charges and he might not get the gig! I had 19 charges and they gave me the launch codes. – STEPHEN COLBERT, imitating Trump
"Who's hanging on their high school calendars? Did you keep your high school stuff? The only things I left high school are deep emotional scars. "- STEPHEN COLBERT
Trump in U.N.
Trump is in New York this week attend the United Nations General Assembly. The animators of the evening took the opportunity to make him understand his talent of expression, his volatility and his love for the contest of Miss Universe.
"Donald Trump is here in New York, because tomorrow he will address the United States General Assembly. His speech will be translated into six languages, including English. "- STEPHEN COLBERT
"President Trump is in New York this week for the United States General Assembly. Yeah, a big gathering of diplomats from foreign countries – or, as Trump calls it, "Boring Miss Universe". – JIMMY FALLON
In his speech, Trump discussed the biggest threats to world peace and stability. So, like most of his speeches, it was a question of himself. "- JAMES CORDEN
The most punched punching lines (punctuation edition)
"Today was the National Punctuation Day, and I hope Bill Cosby celebrates with a very long sentence." SETH MEYERS
"Weight Watchers reduces its name to WW. Did you hear that? Which means that in the next Weight Watchers ad, you'll see the name brag about how it dropped 12 letters. "- JIMMY FALLON
"Yesterday, Tiger Woods won his first PGA tournament since 2013. He trains a lot: he plays almost as much as the president." – JIMMY KIMMEL
The bits to watch
Jimmy Kimmel is preparing to present his show in New York next month for his annual stay of one week at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. In preparation, he fueled the old rivalry between New York and Los Angeles with the help of some cute kids.
Step into James Corden's head and find … Jeff Goldblum?
What we are excited Tuesday night
Actress America Ferrera, who has expressed her support for Dr. Blasey, Judge Kavanaugh's first public accuser, will attend The Late Show on Tuesday. So goes Nas, the rapper.
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