David Beckham admits marriage is "hard work": is it normal for long-term relationships to be difficult?



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David and Victoria Beckham are one of the most famous couples in the world and he is no stranger to the analysis of their marriage and the discussion of rumors of infidelity.

But David has now declared, in a new interview with Australian talk show The Sunday Project, that marriage is "hard work" and added that romance has become "more complicated" over time.

Does this mean that things are not going well? This is not a happy marriage? No, it's perfectly normal, say the experts. These are the factors that will challenge your marriage, no matter your reputation …

Children

This moment when you have the first dance at your wedding, and it seems like the world is always revolving around your love for each other. Then you have a baby, and the baby becomes a baby and babies become children … and life changes forever.

Having a family inevitably makes marriage more difficult because you have less time to be a couple, emotionally and physically, but you have to wait for it, says psychologist Susan Quilliam: "Have a child, even if you die for him, comes back to put the grenade hand in the middle of a wedding. Aside from conditions such as postpartum depression, you are suddenly a three when you were a two.

"All of a sudden, the time is running out and the roles are changing, the child is the most important person. And that can go on until they go to the university.

Work commitments in constant evolution

Career changes can really put cats among the married pigeons. Not only those you choose, but those who are imposed on you. Layoffs, downsizing, and the appointment of a new leader can really put a strain on a marriage that has been concluded as you both climb the ladder of your career.

Quilliam notes: "Couples can underestimate how stressful it is to reconcile two careers and a family without the traditional community of living in a village. We are all working harder than ever. "

Moving – or undergoing renovation

It's apparently more stressful than marriage or divorce – and the Beckhams have certainly moved a lot. But the challenge is even greater: the renovations.

As many of us stay put due to rising house prices, we often decide to convert or expand loft – building dust, and all share the same room. The last thing you want to do is to be romantic or even kind to your partner – but you are not alone if you feel like that.

"Many clients enter therapy while they have just completed a renovation," says psychotherapist Hilda Burke. "They will have lived an existence, living together in one room, which makes an extremely painful relationship."

Birthdays

As any couple knows, birthdays can make things more difficult. The pressure for things to be perfect simply because you have reached a certain number can be tempting. Do not let this weigh you down too much.

"It's like being 30, 40 or 50," says Burke. "Whether you celebrate or not, you get the impression of" Where am I in life and where did I want to be? "People can feel stunned and a birthday can provoke reflection on your current situation."

Your personal development

You may be married but you are still an individual. And as your interests change, it can also affect your relationship. Someone who was once a potato sofa could become a triathlon junkie, or any of you could go back to college or change career altogether, says Quilliam.

"Even without all these factors, a relationship is a natural progression, a rhythm," she says. "You can separate and then fall back together and it's good. It's always difficult and you have to keep working to be your own person. It's about finding that emotional balance as an individual, but also about wanting to be connected to someone. "– Press Association

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