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By David W. Hart, Ph.D.
Collaborater
November is National Caregiver Awareness Month, and it looks like it's time to look at important issues for millions of families and friends who are dedicated, often to their own detriment, to caregiving. and the well-being of those they love.
The National Caregiver Alliance and AARP report that approximately 34.2 million Americans and nearly 3.5 million Californians have provided unpaid care to an adult aged 50 or over during last 12 months. In the United States, more than 16 million caregivers care for someone with Alzheimer's disease or related dementia. In total, the economic value of services provided by caregivers is estimated at nearly $ 500 billion. Yes, it's billion with a b. For some contexts, this number is higher than that of many state economies around the world.
- Caregivers spend an average of 13 days per month on tasks such as shopping, medication recalls, transportation, laundry, meal preparation and housework.
- More than 96% provide help for activities of daily living (ADL) such as personal hygiene, dressing, grooming, as well as getting up and getting up.
- On average, caregivers spend 24.4 hours a week on care.
- Caregivers caring for someone with Alzheimer's disease or other dementia report spending an average of 9 hours per day (Fisher, et al., 2011).
After reading the data, one can imagine that caregivers are stressed. Beyond stressed, in fact. It has been a special privilege to form support groups for dementia caregivers over the past 10 years, and the stories shared are both heartbreaking and inspiring.
What I hear most often, though, is that the standard guideline – natural caregiver, take care of yourself first and foremost – is not entirely helpful. The caregivers often report feeling like a dog paddling in dangerous waters, a person attached to the back, his head barely above the water, without a buoy in sight. No lifeboat, no coast guard, no oxygen. It may seem unrealistic, if not impossible, to prioritize oneself in extreme situations.
This does not mean that the advice is bad – it is not – but the decree is often given too early. The initial goal, in my work with caregivers, is to determine if the caregiver is legitimately in need of the caregiver's full assistance. In other words, can the care recipient swim a bit alone? The caregivers who attend my group are superheroes, aspire to absolute perfection and tend to overcompensate their loved ones by offering too much help. This type of trap is often linked to the caregiver's personality style and probably favors the care recipient's passivity and need.
My caregiver support group has developed two simple questions to measure the caregiver's (caregiver's) performance and caregiver's (caring) entry: Is my loved one safe and that I am healthy in spirit? The main responsibility of a caregiver is to ensure the physical, emotional, sexual and financial security of his loved one. This does not mean that the recipient of the care is wrapped in bubble wrap and placed in a padded room.
The goal is to maximize security while respecting the individuality of your loved one and your own physical and emotional well-being.
For example, a client recently reported that her father, who had problems with balance and gait, refused to walk with his cane. She was constantly afraid that it would fall, but with each reminder to use the cane, the more he became resistant.
So what is the solution? There are several options, but the one that best illustrates the problem is to maximize its security while minimizing the folly of engaging in futile efforts. Removing area rugs, identifying and buying appropriate footwear, padding corners, installing support bars in the shower and using fall sensors can all enhance the safety of this care recipient. And just as importantly, help the caregiver minimize the risk of negative reactions from his father.
The establishment of safety and maintenance of mental health are not mutually exclusive. Sometimes one replaces the other, depending on the context, but maintaining both of them as priorities will go a long way towards reducing caregiver stress. Here is a list of additional strategies to take care of the caregiver:
- Set boundaries – choral voice that believes you can do anything.
- Examine your motivation by reminding yourself why you could inspire the how.
- Divide housework – you can ask for help
- Look for resources – the community has a number of resources for caregivers to help you develop a competent care plan. You can start with the LA Caregiver Resource Center (www.fcscgero.org) or HELP at Torrance (www.HELP.org).
- Learn to say no, this is the most important word in the English language.
- Give up your vain efforts – safety and mental health first; Everything else is secondary.
- Join a support group – seriously, you'll thank me plenty later
Of course, this list is not exhaustive and I intend not to say that my suggestions are superior to others. To learn more, there are several low-cost, low-cost, evidence-based programs in South Bay that can be used as lifeboats to transport you and your loved one to healthier shores.
- Beach Cities Health District hosts Savvy Caregiver, a six-week self-care course for caregivers. (Www.bchd.org)
- Several organizations in South Bay have caregiver support groups, including Torrance Memorial Medical Center (www.torrancememorial.org) and Greater Los Angeles Alzheimer's co-sponsor dementia groups at Silverado Beach Cities and my group at Always Best Care South Bay.
- Finally, if you are a caregiver caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's or other dementia, our next Caregiving Essentials course will take place on Saturday, December 15th. You can contact me by email for more information.
In solidarity, with you, the reader.
David Hart, Ph.D., is Director of Clinical Services at Always Best Care Senior Services in Torrance and is a faculty member at California State University's consulting faculty in Fullerton. Hart, president of the South Bay Dementia Education Consortium, specializes in working with seniors with dementia and their families. For more information, visit alwaysbestcaresouthbay.com or contact him at [email protected] or (310) 792-8666.
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