Fun ranking of college football: Say good things about Notre Dame!

1. UCF. Always the champions. UCF will likely remain undefeated again and will still be walled out of the playoffs, but at least they have managed the most moves in Florida: transforming their run-down stadium built from recycled aluminum cans into a brand asset. Does your stadium barely meet the code and even vibrate under basic pedestrian traffic? BOUNCE HOUSE.

Other schools could learn from it. Does your stadium still harbor dangerous levels of carcinogenic asbestos despite years of warnings from the city and the state to clean it up? WELCOME TO THE SWEET TUB. Is it built on a Superfund site and maybe even dangerous for habitation, even for a few hours every Saturday? We suggest you play the toy box.

Built on an active fault line that could explode and engulf the whole place in one big tremor? TAKE YOUR STADIUM COMMERCIAL CAL. This is in fact the case of Cal Memorial Stadium, because the Hayward Fault is in the middle of their football field.

Again, the weirdest thing we can invent turns out to be a real thing. The lesson here: stop making jokes and start taking the dictation.

2. The bulldogs of the citadel. Lost 50-17 for Alabama.

The Citadel may have just posted the biggest loss of 33 points in the history of college football. The Bulldogs were tied with Bama at the half. They held the ball for 36 minutes against Alabama. Maybe you wanted to go see Tua Tagovailoa play Tuscaloosa, fan of Alabama at random? TOO BAD, TIME TO WATCH OLD RECEIVER OF LARGE SCHOOL ESTABLISHMENTS BRANDON RAINEY SHOULD GO A GUARDIAN QB 25 TIMES FOR CITADEL MIGHTY.

The Citadel lost fewer points against Alabama than Arkansas, Ole Miss or Tennessee. Better yet: they scored more points than LSU against Bama, and LSU was playing at home.

The Citadel is no worse than the fourth, in the SEC West, and maybe better in the SEC East, if I'd like to be honest. Go bulldogs.

3. Our Lady. Syracuse flattened 36-3. Listen, I only have jokes about Notre Dame when it comes to Yankees striped uniforms. Notre Dame would be the first team to co-brand a uniform with Amazon, the first to craft a double logo football shirt with Duke basketball and the first team to wear Range Rover-style cramped shoes. None of this is a surprise. If Notre Dame played a match in Spain, they would be 100% out in white jersey in the honor of Real Madrid and certainly not Barcelona.

Unlike Real Madrid – another venerable former monetary power – Notre Dame has not won anything for years and struggles to measure its success.

This is not the fault of Notre Dame, of the football team. Last powerful university footballer, the only championship that Notre Dame can win is THE national title. The Irish live in the unique position of having to decide whether they have had a satisfactory year or not without using the conference game as a newsletter.

If you have a question about this for 2018, this should not be the case. Our Lady de-boned Syracuse and reduced them to a gelatin so unable to move the ball that the Orange had to rely on an officially sad fourth quarter field goal to avoid a shutout. The offense has barely sweat. Ian Book had open men all over the field, while Notre Dame's rushed attack clicked for 171 yards and two scores.

And that's the story all year long. They were better than good, to the point that the only jokes are their specialty uniforms. Who are awful. Let's be clear, saying, among other things, that "Notre Dame should stop having flashbacks on 2012, because six years later, they should get back to it, because it is about A totally different team and a much deeper list. "By the way, joking aside, Notre Dame will have to realize that she has a chance to seriously compete for the only title she can win .

P.S. It is not me who write this about Our Lady, and we will never talk about it again.

4. Stephen "Buckshot" Calvert. Q: How does a QB from Liberty University who did not even spend 100 yards in their team's 53-0 loss to Auburn deserve to be mentioned in a list of superlatives?

A1: Is nicknamed "Buckshot".

A2:

5. Clemson. 35-6 on the duke. Duke will be an underrated win for Clemson, and it really should not be the case. Duke is still outmatched, is among the top 25 points-per-game defensemen and has a very good quarterback in Daniel Jones. Please do not make fun of Jones when he's too tight because he's tall, white, and has been coached by the guy who once coached Peyton Manning.

It's not Jones' fault, he's a fantastic NFL scout quarterback. That's the flash of the NFL, not Jones.

Duke even tried a game I had never seen before: a quick, fast kick in the fourth and end when Jones took the picture, started to throw the ball back to the back of the field and instead stopped and thrown to an open receiver for the first test. The catcher was open because he pushed, but I will never punish the effort or the innovation here.

Side note: David Cutcliffe would be the worst coach to face in the Thanksgiving Turkey Bowl. He would use the water oak for dirty play games, would deliberately topple sweeping games in the holly bushes, and would definitely make double passes. Grandfather likes you, but Grandpa is not here to show you what an idiot looks like.

Trevor Lawrence is doing well, Clemson has at least three wide receivers that could be the next Nuk Hopkins, the defense only allowed six points, the fast attack was balanced and deep and Dabo Swinney learned a new word in the postman of the postgame.

See: It's the end of November and everyone is learning and growing up in Clemson, even the head coach.

6. State of Oklahoma. On a hot day, a 45-41 fish was stuffed into the glove box of the 2018 Dodge Challenger West Virginia and stayed there for a week or two.

There is a constant rule in the Big 12: the conference is a bucket and all the teams that compose it are envious crabs. The minute a team seems to be moving towards freedom, excellence and a New Year's offer? This is the moment when the team is caught by the leg and then brought back into the bucket along with the rest of the other sad crabs.

Hmm, let's look in the photo tool for the "Biggest Crab Big 12 in 2018" and see what happens and –

Photo of Brett Deering / Getty Images

– here we are. Stuck in a rebuild, starting a quarter that would otherwise have started at West Texas A & M, and falling in a game against West Virginia at 5-5, Oklahoma State had no reason to stay in the match against a rising Mountaineers team in addition to the desire to ruin the season of someone else. This being the Big 12, it was more than enough for the Cowboys.

Taylor Cornelius totaled 444 yards of offense, including an unlikely 106 yards rushing to the Mountaineers. Go watch it run several times and you will see how unlikely it is. It just should not work, but one way or another, it's all there, like a small NBA striker running 40 meters, his legs tied to his knees.

West Virginia has somehow forgotten that he could not postpone the downtime at the next match as well? That happened and probably cost West Virginia its best attempt to win it at the last minute. That in turn cost the Mountaineers a blow in the playoffs. That means the Big 12's top prospects are still in the hands of their hated rival Oklahoma, who now has a clearer line to everything, thanks to Oklahoma State. The circle of spite in the Big 12: it's infinite and perverse.

7. State of Washington. The boat ran to Arizona 69-28. This included a second quarter of 34 points in which this happened:

Arizona did that, but that sort of thing happens for Wazzu this season. Their quarterback is a god of football football American football league rec-league, mustache, wearing a headband and released in a fully functional air raid machine. Their defense is good all the time, and sometimes legitimate in the second half of the match. They are ridiculously fun in the way of producing points and winning, which is a rare and precious thing to preserve.

8. This Fresno State fan. Siri shows me pictures for the city of Fresno, California.

Yes, my boy YEAH.