GARY SMITH: Humbled by Hubble



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Among all the good things people have done in world history, the Hubble telescope has to rank above with airplanes and soft ice cream.

Launched in 1990, the telescope constantly rotates around the Earth, sending us crystalline images of galaxies so far away that they may not even be there when they reach us. Which is really very surprising and a little annoying when you consider that all my selfies are, basically, images of my left ear.

As incredible as Hubble is, there are certain realities of all inventions. One of these realities is that they are made up of things. Another is, well, break things.

Such was the case a little ago when one of Hubble's gyroscopes started doing what gyroscopes do, but a little too quickly, whose net would have turned a multi-million dollar piece of Amazing into an interstellar switchover. Or something like that.

When all the beautiful NASA minds gathered to think about what to do, they came up with a solution that warms the heart of anyone who has never stopped staring at an empty cell phone screen or the infamous Pinwheel of Death on his TV.

They decided to repair the gyroscope by restarting it. Which is a somewhat technical way of saying that they have turned it off and on again.

So, the smartest guys in the world have thought and thought and have basically decided to use the same solution as when Netflix does not load. What looked like something like this:

"Gyros R Us Technical Support Here is Brandon, can I help you?"

"Yes, it's NASA's mission control – need to talk to someone about fixing the gyro on the Hubble telescope."

"Well, you must have pushed 5 for the department – really incredibly expensive and difficult to understand.This is the department" Gofos Goofy that are part of an office decoration & # 39; 39 ;. What no one has ever called, from elsewhere. "

"Sorry, I did not know that there were so many options, can you help me?"

"It does not matter." Usually, we get calls from people with questions about Greek sandwiches, so you were close, and of course, why not, I'll try it. . "

"Imagine my trust, in fact, you'll have to imagine it, but let's see what happens, it looks like we've determined that the gyro is producing high rates that are wrong, so we went from high to low and turned the gear in an effort to eliminate all the blockages that could have accumulated … Still nothing, you understand?

"Nope, sorry, in fact, you have been put on hold."

"Have you read the problem?"

"Pizza delivery, you have to keep the energy level in. Now, let's see what we have to do here, do you see the flashing lights on the router?"

"No router, and all the flashing lights would be about 350 miles above the Earth's atmosphere, so I could squint, but …"

"OK, so have you downloaded the latest updates and are you part of our Preferred Customer Program?"

"We have never received e-mail and we are the federal government, so unless you want to talk to some fun guys from the IRS, the way you really think that these "Fortnite" downloads are "education expenses", we might need to move here. "

"Yeah, well, I guess we can go through the paperwork on this, so it looks like we're going to have to do something radical and unique here to get our summit going again." Sorry, gyro humor. you have to pay special attention and do exactly what I say and we could just get out of it in one piece. "

"It looks serious!"

"In fact, I have a little brains on the pizza. But I need you to do what I say. Now, I need you to assemble all the material that might be available on the Huddle … "

"Hubble"

"That too, and I need you to bring a whiteboard, flip all the satellites to fix the doohickey and control the silence in the control center."

"I have it."

"Now see the panel that says" Hubble Gyro Control? " "I need you to crawl underneath, grab the power cord, unplug it, wait 25 seconds, then plug it back in."

"Well received."

"That's Brandon."

"No, it's just what we … it does not matter to us, I do not really understand why we say that." Whatever it is, plug it in again, anndddd … that Hubble has stopped spinning for no reason! " "

"Good deal, now, as I have delighted you with our outstanding customer service, can I interest you for a 30-minute survey and an upgrade to this favorite customer program?"

"Sorry, I have to put you on hold … Pizza is here!"

Comment of the 11/02/2018

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