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Supermodel Gisele Bundchen revealed she once contemplated suicide in a new interview with Access.
(2014 Getty Images)
Gisele Bundchen broke down into tears and got incredibly candid about a trying time in her life as a young supermodel living in New York City.
The Victoria’s Secret angel opened up in an interview with Access discussing her new book, “Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life” about one specific night where she nearly took her own life in a shocking revelation.
In an excerpt from Bundchen’s book, Access’ Natalie Morales reads: “The idea swept over me; maybe it’ll be easier if I just jump it’ll all be over.”
The supermodel recalled, painting the scene to Morales: “I decided to have a massage at night, and I’ll never forget it was a beautiful night in New York and I decided to get a massage to relax because my body was so tense. But then, in the middle of the massage, I got up and I couldn’t breathe. And then I went outside and I’m like, ‘Okay, I’m outside – I’m going to be able to breathe,’ and I couldn’t breathe.”
Bundchen continued: “And I’m like, ‘This is ridiculous.’ I felt so upset because I’m like how can I not breathe even out here on this deck in front of water. What’s more breezy than [this]? So, for one second in my mind, I was like – because I lived on the ninth floor – it crossed my mind, you know. And, I think that, you know, if I jumped then it would all be over.”
“It got to a point where I don’t think it’s worth it.”
During the sit-down interview, the wife of NFL future hall-of-fame quarterback Tom Brady detailed her struggles with anxiety brought on by the meteoric ascend to her career and the fast-paced nature of her profession.
“The life I was living; I think I was not making very good decisions for my health,” Bundchen, 38, said about the cause of her panic attacks in 2003 when she was 23. “I think when you smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, drink three mocha frappuccinos a day for breakfast and drink a bottle of wine at night – and don’t sleep much, and work every day – I mean, that’s really a recipe for developing a panic attack.”
Bundchen’s comments came less than and week after the mother of two said she “lost” herself after becoming a mother.
Despite the negative thoughts, Bundchen noted that it was actually that specific instant that turned the tide for her and allowed her to begin healing herself.
“It actually gave me new life because that moment was the change of everything,” she recalled. “As I thought that thought, I came back to myself and I was like, ‘What am I thinking?’ I was so upset at myself, you know. And I realized that I really had a big problem. That was for me, reaching the bottom because where else could I go from that place?”
She soon saw a doctor who prescribed her Xanax, but Bundchen decided she didn’t want to rely on drugs to get her through her anxiety and refused to take the pills.
“I just prayed when I kind of stepped back and had the opportunity to start meditating and start practicing yoga, I started realizing, ‘Wait a minute, look what I’m doing,'” she said. “And then I changed my life. I stopped drinking, I stopped smoking. I went three months without eating any type of sugar. I just stopped.”
Bundchen continued: “I said I have to make these changes in my life because no one is going to come and save me from this. I’m the person who helped create this condition, so I’m the only one who can get myself out of this.”
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