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((Ross May / Washington Post; iStock))
I sipped my last lime chilled vodka last September. There was not much pomp when I say goodbye to cocktails. I did not want to broadcast my decision because I tried unsuccessfully to go very far before. I usually did it a few days, maybe a few weeks. When I started this time, I did not know how long my alcohol break would last. Maybe a month, I thought.
These 30 days have turned into more than a year. Although the instant relaxation that occurs when alcohol mixes with the bloodstream I miss it, I do not dwell on what followed: the occasional hangover, interrupted sleep and a feeling of inexplicable sadness when I will wake up. I realized that I had a drink or a few drinks every day – and although it did not spoil my life or my health, I wanted to know what would happen if I stopped.
Alcohol is everywhere
It becomes painfully obvious that alcohol is everywhere when you try to avoid it. I could buy wine in my hair salon, every drink I watched on Netflix was associated with alcoholic beverages, and my social networking accounts were inundated with images of cocktails and jokes about the fact that the time between coffee and wine was "the scariest part of the day. "There was free alcohol at work and at children's birthday parties. Even my gym had a bar.
To be honest, I think that I finally managed to stop drinking because I joined my husband, teetotaler since high school, on sabbatical and that I moved to a small Colorado town during a year. With miles of mountains to explore and my friends back in Chicago, it was easier to avoid pre-dinner drinks, brunches, network drinks, movies, gaming nights. You get the picture.
Although the first 48 hours were the most difficult, it took about three months for my desires to disappear. And six others for me to stop thinking about drinking. The alcohol was my stop button, a signal that it was time to relax. This association has been engraved in my mind as a well-defined bike path. It took a while, but ultimately, not rewarding my brain with a drink every time I felt stressed helped me stop compulsively looking for a drink.
Although my social life has taken a hit, avoiding places where there is alcohol during the first few months has been a great help. Identifying my other triggers was just as important. I have associated a lot of activities to the drink: read, cook, clean. If I wanted to replace an old habit, I knew I had to create a new one. I was prone to anxiety and started to meditate whenever I felt my nerves contract, even for a few minutes at a time, instead of having a drink. I also had coffee or herbal tea when I felt a pinch of cocktail. Surprisingly, the switches helped calm my cravings.
My mood
I have a history of depression and so I thought it was why I was always a little sad in the morning. It is a question of chicken or egg, but chronic alcohol consumption is related to depression. Although alcohol increases short-term chemicals such as serotonin and dopamine, drinking to relieve your mood often has the opposite effect the next day. And the next day I found myself caught in a vicious cycle of trying to drink melancholy.
With non-alcoholic nights, the morning light took on a more positive hue. It was not that I was suddenly happy, but I did not feel absolutely so dark. It was as if a veil had been lifted. This change was evident in the first two days.
My anxiety was harder to tame. Watering with a few glasses of wine was not an option, it was increasing. Irritating I tried to pin down my concerns. Was it my job? My health? Did the cat look sick? Have my bills been paid? I could not understand it. And without alcohol, I had to wear my worries as a really heavy coat in the summer.
But instead of giving my anxiety what she wanted – a momentary release with a drink – I channeled Judson Brewer, a psychiatrist who created the Unwinding Anxiety app. Brewer says to think of cravings like a child in tears who wants candy. If you do not give in, they end up crying.
[I tried mindfulness to quit drinking. It actually worked.]
After a week – and a lot of meditation – my anguish stopped screaming so loudly. And each week after, they became quieter. I drank to keep my nerves under control. I was sure it would help prevent the problem from spreading. But this only offered a temporary respite, like pressing the pause button. Although I still experience moments of intense anxiety, sitting with the discomfort makes him pass
The boredom has advantages
When you have the habit of drinking every night, whether alone or with friends, you waste a lot of time when you leave it alone. I not only spent time drinking, but I also lost time thinking about drinking. Do I have wine at home? Should I buy expensive vodka? Did I meet someone for a cocktail after work? Should I find which place has the best happy hour?
With my new afternoons and sober evenings, I have not devoted any energy to the purchase of alcohol. Instead, I found constructive ways to spend my time. I did a lot of hiking, I did exercise every day, I read more books, I knew how to make leavened bread, I cooked many meals from scratch and I finally knew how to cut myself the hair.
Uninterrupted sleep
Because I was not a big drinker, I always made fun of the idea that one or two glasses would hinder my nocturnal sleep. I may have had a drink a little too close to bedtime, but I did not think it affected my sleep.
But I did not know the meaning of deep sleep until I stopped drinking. Even though I only had one glass of wine, I got up around midnight. Then at 3 in the morning, I was generally thirsty and had to go to the bathroom. According to the application I use to follow my sleep, go for a long time without drinking increased my deep sleep. I also have no problem staying asleep for long periods of time or getting up with the sun.
People wanted to know why
Almost all my friends drink and they are used to being with them. When I ordered something without alcohol – a choice they've always noticed – some reacted with confusion and anxiety. They all wanted to know why. According to the audience, I had an arsenal of (honest) answers, including: Alcohol affects my sleep. The red wine gives me a headache and puffy eyes. That makes me sad. I have to get up early and go to the gym. I'm trying to save money. I pause in my liver.
When these answers were not enough, I had to put it on the table and explain that I felt like I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, a relationship that was harming my ability to cope with my anxieties. I confessed this sparingly, because it often made people feel uncomfortable and asked them for many assurances that they would not have a problem.
My sobriety has made some people uncomfortable. They wanted to know when I had planned to drink again. Studies show that the safest amount of alcohol to drink is not a drink, which is what I intend to keep. Although there are obvious reasons for physical health to avoid alcohol, I mostly plan to abstain for my mental health. Not drinking will not cure my anxiety and depression, but a year without it helped me feel better than I thought. And you should taste my leavened bread.
Read more:
Harvard Neuroscientist: Meditation not only reduces stress, but also how it modifies the brain
Nothing worked for my depression – until I tried meditation
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