I lived by Mark Wahlberg's calendar for a day and it broke me



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It was so easy.

Earlier this month, Mark Wahlberg posted on Instagram what he said was his "typical daily schedule". It was unreal, but it was feasible. He gets up at 2:30, he says. He prays. He takes a shower of 90 minutes. He plays golf for half an hour. He recovers the cryo chamber. He has an article about his schedule titled "Family Time / Meetings / Work Calls". I could do it.

The press covered his schedule from a distance. "I thought I wanted to be a body builder, but after seeing what was needed, that desire was gone." She wrote. "Is the guy superhuman?" Men's health asked. "As, East Mark Wahlberg is only a big colic baby? Vanity Fair request. CNBC even covered his training plan.

I was intrigued, though. Mark Wahlberg is a famous Hollywood actor and, according to She, successful Instagram compliment salesman. Maybe I could taste a small part of his success by following his schedule? Let's find out.

19:30, the evening before: bed

Mark Wahlberg wakes up at 2:30 in the morning. To do this, I had to follow his schedule the day before. It is difficult. I think I never fell asleep at 7:30 pm in my life. I drink NyQuil. I go out.

14h30: Wake up

Phew! I'm up. My fiancée sleeps deep next to me. I take care not to wake her and start my day. It's dark outside. My friends on the west coast are always awake. I'm up and ready to live like Mark Wahlberg.

2:45 pm: Prayer

I spent 12 years in a Catholic school. But it's been a long time since I've prayed, let alone prayed for half an hourit's like I think I need help: I ​​found a website called Come, Pray the Rosary that allows visitors to pray with a video of a priest leading his congregation. I chose the Glorious Mysteries, hoping that it would also make my day glorious. Just as I would receive my representatives during training later in the day, I would receive my representatives from Our Fathers and Hail Marys that morning. A complete Rosary takes about 20 minutes, so I say general intercessions for the last 10 minutes. If you are a friend of mine and something good happens to you soon, you can thank me for my prayers.

3:15 pm: Breakfast

I have some toast. I wanted to follow Wahlberg's calendar, not his eating habits. Also, at 3:30 pm, I'm confused and tired and I curse myself for making that stupid idea for a story when I knew other people were going to do it too. An hour and already I hate to live like Mark Wahlberg.

3:40 pm to 5:15 pm: training session

This is the only part of the Wahlberg schedule that gives a complete schedule. He works exactly 95 minutes each morning before the sun rises. Despite being a fat guy, I run pretty regularly. I decided to start my training with a nice long run. I took my five mile course and went to do it.

Running in the middle of the night / early morning is weird. It is strangely quiet except when I pass a park or other tree-lined area. These areas buzz with the sound of crickets and other creatures in their brief time as leaders of the city. When I finish my race, I feel good. I'm slow, I'm too sweaty, I'm still a big guy, but I'm on my way to becoming Mark Wahlberg.

I put my legs on the wall for 10 minutes after my run. It's a standard part of all my races; I do not really think it does anything, but it feels good in the moment. I spend the rest of my training doing yoga postures, pushups and crunches. It may not be Mark Wahlberg's physical form, but I feel good.

18:00: shower

Here is where things start to get difficult. The next item on the list is golf at 7:30. Does Mark Wahlberg take an hour and a half shower? I decide to try to take a shower as long as possible. I rinse, lather and – oh yes – I repeat. I wash with a bar of soap. I'm washing with Dr. Bronner. I even use this shower cleansing lotion that I once bought and that I never use. I keep the temperature of the shower low to stretch the hot water and feel cleaner than ever when I finally decided.

I check the time: it's only 23 minutes. I continue to walk in the shower as long as I think. At 43 minutes, when the hot water is gone and I shudder, I finally give the floor. Mark Wahlberg must have one of these water heaters on demand. And maybe additional body parts? I'm not quite sure

19h30: Golf

Did you know that Philadelphia has municipal golf courses? Better than that: Did you know that Philadelphia has municipal golf courses that open primarily at dawn? I discovered this during a research on the important topic "Where the hell can I play golf at half past seven in the morning?"

I choose the closest golf course to my home, the FDR Golf Club located in South Philadelphia. It has low reviews on Yelp, but an amazing logo, and I thought it was pretty good. Of course, the pro shop was closed because of roof problems, and the "driving range" I visited was essentially a large piece of grass. But you can watch the planes fly low overhead and it was $ 27 for a big bucket of balls and a set of golf clubs. Golf is cheaper than I thought!

I have never played golf before in my life. I had not even been in a driving range since high school. But I have played enough Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2004 senior year of college to learn how to evolve the club. Or not, really, since my first shots are not even in the air. But after 20 minutes and most of my big bucket of balls, I begin to make a solid contact. My shot clings a little, but in the end, I feel more coherent. Mark Wahlberg, I'm coming here!

8 pm: Snack

In honor of Mark Wahlberg's education in Boston, I go to Dunkin 'Donuts on my way home from the golf club. On the outside, several people wonder if the famous footballer called Pelé or Polo. I do not intervene. I think that they will eventually get it. I appreciate my donut at home.

9:30 am: recovery of the cryotherapy chamber

That was the only concession I made: I had to postpone it for half an hour because there was no Cryo room in Philadelphia open at 9:30. during the summer. It does not matter: C.R.Y.O Philadelphia makes my appointment. The technician, a very beautiful woman named Ashley, asks me why I am here. I say timidly, "Uh … I live like Mark Wahlberg for a day?

She thinks it's a good idea, at least. I ask him if it is possible to spend an hour in a cryo room, as seems Mark Wahlberg. She says no. She says you can only devote a maximum of three minutes to one – and it's actually dangerous to spend more time, especially on your first visit. Wahlberg's daily trips to the cryo chamber made it impervious to the cold?

To prepare the cryo chamber, I am told to put on woolen socks and a pair of Ugg boots. I also have gloves and a dress; once in the room, I undress. My body is cooled to minus 220 degrees Fahrenheit. He feels good. As I am the first customer of the day, it takes a little time for the machine to be properly cooled. I spent a total of four minutes in the cryo chamber. I do not know if that's anything, but when I leave my Ugg boots are covered in frost and my only little finger is a little numb. It does not matter.

There is not much data on the recovery of the whole body cryo chamber, but I feel refreshed afterwards. Maybe it's psychosomatic. Maybe I like the cold. I do not have a lot of time to install because there is a schedule to follow.

10:30 am: Snack

How much does Mark Wahlberg eat? All his day is just random activities to break the meal. I have peanut butter crackers. I am already a little complete. How is Wahlberg better than me? Wait, I think I know the answer to that question.

11:00 am Family Time / Meetings / Work Calls

Ah yes, this popular trio, especially at 11 o'clock, when your family may not be here. And, in fact, just as Mark Wahlberg's children are probably in school at that time, my fiancee was out at 11 am. I play with my cat for a while. Then when she is tired of running after a laser pointer in the living room and a meeting!), I make work calls. I'm also trying to have a work meeting, but my colleagues at Deadspin inform me that they do not want to make a meeting pointless. I'm just going for a ride in Slack chat.

13h: Lunch

What is that Mark Wahlberg? How does he eat so much? The wind scene is it L & # 39; event just Wahlberg's flatulence of all this food? I decided to keep it simple and have two peanut butter sandwiches and jam for lunch. I do not want to eat anymore, and yet I know I will have to do it again 20 to 30 times.

2 pm: Meetings / work calls

My fiancee is now at home, but I can not talk to her: it's "meetings / work calls", no "family time / meetings / work calls".

I spend most of my time working on stories, taking notes on Mark Wahlberg's life and mentally preparing myself for more food. I never thought it would be so hard to eat. My little finger is still numb.

15:00: Pick up children at school

A difference between Mark Wahlberg and me, besides everything about our daily schedules, is that I do not have children. If it was a normal day, I would pick up my fiancee from school; she is a high school teacher. But the schools were closed the day I lived like Wahlberg, so I have to improvise: I take my cat. Like, literally. I lift it in the air and it makes pretty cat sounds. I put it down and give it treats. Hey, that was the easiest (and the cutest) part of the calendar.

15h30: Snack

You are laughing at me. Fortunately, I make this tolerable by eating one of my favorite foods: a soft Philadelphia pretzel. I think I understand why Wahlberg and I have different physiques now. I think the feeling is back to my left, although I can not be sure.

16h: Training

A second training! It had been a long time since I had not done two workouts in a day, but I was ready for that. I got a little stretched. I've done more yoga poses. And then I went to play basketball, which convinced me. I turn alone and play games with random children. I have recently started playing basketball and I am happy to announce that I am still an excellent shooter when there is no pressure and a terrible shooter when there is someone within three feet of me. But I even hit an open three (well, one two) in my pickup game. Mark Wahlberg can he do that? I doubt it. I challenge Mark Wahlberg to a one-on-one game.

17h: shower

Despite the second workout, I still feel a bit clean after my first 43 minute shower. Still, I settled for a full half hour cleaning my body. At 5:30 pm, my hair and body may be cleaner than they have ever been.

17h30: Dinner / family time

Finally! I'm talking to my fiancée for the first time since "family time / meetings / work calls". She had a good day off, she said. We are preparing a pizza for dinner, literally combining both activities according to the Wahlberg calendar. It was great. I was starving to eat pizza.

7:30 pm: Bed

I have tried, my friends. I drink NyQuil. I take melatonin. I'm trying to relax and meditate. But I can not fall asleep at 7:30 pm again. Living like Mark Wahlberg for a day broke me. I end up giving up, get out of bed and do more work. I end up working on things until 2:30 in the morning – when the real Wahlberg gets up.

I will never live like Mark Wahlberg again. I still enjoyed this morning run and my family time / my meetings / work calls.

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