I would eat the biscuit made with the ashes of a dead

Today, Teen News, a high school student from Davis, California, is in shit after allegedly attacking Full Keith Richards by taking the ashes of his dead grandfather, putting them in a batch of sugar cookies, then giving them to his classmates. Apparently, some comrades knew that they were eating human remains, others not. And if it sounds like the most impressive sociological experience ever conceived, I totally agree with you.

<p class = "canvas-atom-text-canvas Mb (1.0em) Mb (0) – sm Mt (0.8em) – sm" type = "text" content = "Whatever it is, the fact is that adults are VERY enraged to the point that the police are actively investigating state laws in order to find proper indictment for the student. LA Times: "data-reactid =" 23 "> Whatever the case, the fact is that adults are VERY crazy about it, to the point that the police are actively seeking state laws to find a appropriate charge for the student. LA Times:

Doroshov said that the police opened a case and tried to determine which penal code would apply to the processing of human remains into food. Officers have inappropriately reviewed a section of the California Penal Code regarding the disposition of human remains, but charges for public nuisance may be more appropriate, he said.

Before I get into my remarks, let me say that you should not give dead guy cookies to unsuspecting classmates. These people deserve a warning about the ashes of grandpappy and the fact that these ashes come from local sources or not. In addition, before taking the remains of a deceased parent and making them into a pastry, make sure you act according to the wishes of the deceased. Finally, it is likely that eating a dead type cookie is a health risk. For example, if Miltie's grandfather had lupus, this biscuit could give you lupus. I'm pretty sure that's how lupus works. I went to the university.

Well, now that all these conditions are resolved, here's the conclusion: I would eat the biscuit of the dead guy. Really, it's good. I do not even think I would be angry if I ate the cookie of the dead guy without knowing it. I would be crazy about performance, of course. I would definitely like to tweet MOTHERFUCKING DAVE COOKED HER DAD IN A SNICKERDOODLE AND M & # 39; MADE PRACTICAL TO EAT IT, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT THAT SHIT? and then sit down as the retweets flock and Dave gets his ass pulled to infinity to cook his old man. I could get a book contract from that.

<p class = "canvas-atom canvas-text Mb (1.0em) Mb (0) – sm Mt (0.8em) – sm" type = "text" content = "But internally, I would probably be fine with I do not think not that I would be this disturbs. You do not wipe the human blood from your mouth in a frightful, ungodly, frenetic moment. You do not take the very soul of a man by devouring him from head to toe. It's just a stupid cookie. I will not be stung by an existential guilt all my life, because my boy Gary has concocted a lot of hermits to arbor Bob as waterfall. I bet the crematorium went limp and just gave it a urn full of ash anyway. "Data-reactid =" 29 "> But internally, I'd probably be fine with it, I do not think I'd be this disturbs. You do not wipe the human blood from your mouth in a frightful, ungodly, frenetic moment. You do not take the very soul of a man by devouring him from head to toe. It's just a stupid cookie. I will not be stung by an existential guilt all my life, because my boy Gary has concocted a lot of hermits to arbor Bob as waterfall. I bet the crematorium was released and just gave him a urn full of random ashes anyway.

Chances are, you have eaten human remains. This is true. Have you ever eaten a hot dog? It's probably one or two fingers misplaced. And what about products? Sometimes the products have dirt. Well, what is there in the earth? I'll tell you what's in the mud: BODY. Millions of desiccated bodies! If your organic rutabaga does not have the traces of a dead president on your skin, get your money back! These corpses have essential nutrients.

Americans are very worried about human remains and death in general. It's understandable. Death is both terrifying and sacred for millions of us. But many institutions and industries rely on this collective fear and tend to exploit it. I believe in respect for the dead, but I'm also a practical man who believes that burning a grandfather in one piece and making banana bread can be an environmentally friendly and fun way to get rid of him.

So, to this enterprising teenager who will spend the rest of his life in detention for this little joke (?), I tell him: GO TO YOUR BADSELF. Cook me! Eat me! Turn me into shit! I am full of fiber! Make me a blonde. Given the news, I could think of a worse fate than to die and be turned into a tray of delicious chocolate blondies. Beats drag in a grave with a group of other losers for the rest of eternity. We will all eat the ashes of each other before the arrival of the mid-session and start to eat us.

But do not give me a milk cheese. It's mean, man. Come on.