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Trumpy! You can do magic things!
ABC
When a political movement has consisted entirely of con artists and their marks for decades, the quality of the merchandise inevitably suffers. The marks don’t know enough to care and the con artists are, well, con artists. Abraham Lincoln’s campaign buttons weren’t exactly heirloom class, but they featured sturdy all-metal construction and elegant tintype portraits of Lincoln and Hamlin. Today, we have Trumpy Bear, the unofficial tie-in product the modern Republican party deserves. The bear’s been around for a while, but he got Jimmy Kimmel’s attention over the weekend, so the host shot a few new customer testimonials from Trump superfans:
This is one of those bits where no elaboration can add much to the already perfect joke that someone is convincing Trump voters to pay $39.90 plus $6.95 shipping and handling for a store-brand teddy bear with a bunch of yellow yarn glued to its head. (And he can’t even do magic!) Still, the image of a child asylum seeker desperately clutching knock-off Trump merchandise in lieu of the parents she was stolen from really captures the political and cultural moment. Now here’s the full commercial for Trumpy Bear, a product that is apparently selling well enough that its creators can afford to produce and air television commercials:
Our species was an evolutionary blind alley.
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