Loneliness data reveals most Australians are affected but help is available



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Loneliness is not an aphrodisiac, as The Whitlams’ song goes. It is not a romantic yearning. Loneliness is a distressing feeling of isolation.

Lonely people are more likely to be depressed and anxious, and have worse health outcomes than “connected” Australians.

Lonely people might never feel part of a group of friends. They might never feel close to people, and they don’t have people to turn to when they need it.

The recently released Australian Loneliness Report, from the Australian Psychological Society and Swinburne University of Technology, found one in two Australian adults is lonely at least one day a week. For one in four, loneliness strikes on three or more days a week.

And about one in five “rarely or never feel close to people, rarely or never feel they have someone to talk to and don’t feel they have people they can turn to”.

“As humans are essentially social animals, loneliness is thought to arise because an innate need to belong to a group is unmet,” the report says.

“Loneliness signals a need to form a meaningful connection with others.”

Who is lonely?

Married Australians or those in a de facto relationship are less lonely than the single or divorced.

Perhaps surprisingly, older Australians are the least lonely — those over 65 report better physical and mental health as well as interaction anxiety and depression. Young people, meanwhile, have more social interaction anxiety.

Researchers used the UCLA Loneliness Scale, scoring people’s loneliness by a rating between 20 and 80. The over 65s sat at just over 40; everyone else was closer to 46.

They are more likely to feel worthless, and face life with less happiness, enthusiasm and pleasure.

Men and women are just as likely to feel lonely as each other.

The Australian Loneliness Report came from a survey of 1,678 Australians. It found lonely people have higher levels of depression and anxiety. They have poorer overall quality of life, poorer health and fewer positive emotions.

Research has found loneliness increases the chances of an earlier death by 26 per cent.

Some have no relatives to turn to, some don’t see any friends regularly, and most Australians are not well connected to their neighbours.

A Federal inquiry heard earlier this year that mental health workers were coming across people who hadn’t had a conversation with someone else for more than a week.

Your genetics can be a predictor for loneliness, as can your physical health, and your community or work. Depressingly, loneliness can be catching — it tends to happen in clusters.

Research published last year found lonely people tend to withdraw still further from society, in turn leaving other people with fewer connections.

There is a lonely “contagion” effect.

“These reinforcing effects mean that our social fabric can fray at the edges, like a yarn that comes loose at the end of a crocheted sweater,” the authors wrote in the article published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

What should be done?

Luckily, there are ways to improve your interactions with people. The Australian Psychological Society ‘s Tips to Connect to Thrive, summarised on this page, are available online.

You can learn how to interact better, how to hold up your end of a conversation.

Anyone who has specific circumstances — such as a partner dying, a move to a new place, and so on, should seek specific help.

A critical thing to watch out for is negative thinking — loneliness can make people hypersensitive to people disagreeing with them or being critical. That in turn can increase anxiety, creating a cycle — but that cycle can be broken and the patterns changed.

And more studies have emerged warning people to stay off or reduce their use of social media; unless it’s actually connecting you to people, it can make you feel more lonely to scroll though other people’s good times.

The good news is that leaders around the world are paying more attention to loneliness. Earlier this year the United Kingdom appointed a Loneliness Minister to tackle isolation. Now Labor MP Andrew Giles says we should follow their lead, and is planning to put forward a private member’s motion on loneliness.

A group of universities and not-for-profits who make up the Coalition To End Loneliness say loneliness is being recognised internationally as an emerging public health issue and agree there is evidence it can be addressed by interventions to build intimacy.

The research team behind the Australian Loneliness Report was led by Dr Michelle Lim from Swinburne University.

Dr Lim said too many people are still unaware of the impact of loneliness.

“Even caring and highly trained staff at emergency departments may trivialise the needs of lonely people presenting repeatedly and direct them to resources that aren’t right,” she wrote in The Conversation.

“Increasing awareness, formalised training, and policies are all steps in the right direction to reduce this poor care.”

If you need help, call BeyondBlue on 1300 22 46 36, or Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Self-help:

Think positively and don’t overthink.

Don’t compare yourself to others.

Accept that relationships change and that some situations are just awkward.

Learn how to manage your anxiety.

Practice listening properly to people, think about questions to ask them, and use their name when you’re talking to them.

Get off social media, chat to a stranger, help someone out, and find opportunities to join in shared activities.

Find old friends, and remember relationship skills can be learned. If you need more support, seek help.

Source: Australian Loneliness Report

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