Mac Miller Dead: the last rapper talked about drug use and sobriety

Mac Miller never hesitated to discuss his drug use, but even he knew that it inevitably had a dark end.

The rapper, who died on Friday at the age of 26, has battled drug addiction for years, often writing songs about his daily drug use, mental health and desire for sobriety.

Miller's career took off in 2011 when he released his first album Blue Slide Park. After the release of the album and his transfer from Pittsburgh to Los Angeles, Miller began to rely on marijuana to deal with stress during his tours. But soon, the rapper turned to promethazine, codeine and cocaine to manage his mental state.

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During a Complex Interview of 2013, Miller admitted to using lean – a combination of promethazine and codeine – to cope with his depression. The rapper explained that the critics and the stress of his Macadelic A mixed-band tour in 2012 has led to reliance on addictive drugs.

"I like lean; it's great, "he told the magazine. "I was not happy and I was skinny very heavy[duringthe[duringthe[pendantle[duringtheMacadelic tower.]I was so excited all the time that it was bad. My friends could not even look at me the same way. I was lost. "

Miller said Complex he tried to quit the Lean several times, but did not succeed until November 2012, before starting production of his MTV2 reality series. Mac Miller and the Dope family.

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In May 2014, the rapper released his tenth solo mixtape, faces. On this topic, Miller discussed his fight against depression, explaining how "a drug habit like Philip Hoffman will probably put me in a coffin."

A year later, Miller looked better, physically and mentally. Talk to Display panel after the release of his 2015 album GO: OD AM, he discussed his journey towards sobriety, his changing state of mind, and acknowledged that his new album was very different from his previous "depressing" work.

"I was doing a lot of drugs at that time," Miller said. "What's another difference now: I do not do so much medicine. It's just eating your mind, doing drugs every day, every second. It's hard on your body.

He also admitted to having suicidal thoughts before releasing his album, saying that "every song is about coca [and] drugs "in 2014.

"It was the plan with faces: [Closing song] "The grand finale" was supposed to be the last song I made on earth, "explained Miller." I do not feel the same anymore. "

When asked about his mental and physical health, Miller was confident about his progress and asserted that he was "in better health" than he had in the past, even though the rapper acknowledged that He was still struggling with drug addiction.

"I always smoke cigarettes. I am not completely sober, but I am much better than me at that time, "he said. "I was afraid of what my life had become. But once you come to breathe and relax, you do it. It's my life, I like it, and it's nice that I like it.

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Although Miller admitted to being ashamed of his addiction and "hiding" parts of his life, he was still able to find the right path in his complicated world.

"You have to look in the mirror and tell yourself to stop being a little bitch:" Well, man, you are 23 and it's your life. Go ahead and do it, stop hiding, because it was me before, he said. "The good music came from there, but I prefer to be in the place, I'm now … I'm not 100% clean, but I'm not a piece of it anymore – I can look in the mirror and to say, "I am OK."

Miller: "I was too concerned about the legacy I would leave behind – how would I remember if I died. It was all my thing. Like, you never know, man, so I have to make all this music, so when I die, there are albums and albums. But now, I'm going to make sure that I do something in life.

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Two years after being sober in 2015, Miller said W Magazine after having "had a very sober time … now I'm just like life regularly".

"I do not believe in anything, but I do not think I share that kind of information, because it's like saying," Oh, he's sober, oh he's not, oh, he's got a beer, oh my God. are important to keep for yourself, "he added.

In February 2016, the rapper released a personal documentary, Stop making excuses. In this paper, Miller was outspoken about his drug use, saying he "would never stop" and also revealed that "the overdose" – which became the ultimate fall for the rapper – was "not cool ".

"I am reassured, stay true to reality," he said. "I'm really lazy, always, all the time. It will never stop. But I control my life. I'm not ready yet. I am relaxing."

The singer of "Donald Trump" added: "I would rather be the nerdy white rapper than the fucking drugged who can not even leave his house. An overdose is just not cool. There is no legendary romance. You are not part of the story because you have an overdose. You just died.

The Pittsburgh rapper also explained exactly how he was able to use marijuana to get harder drugs.

"I had to get a little more numb medicine, if you want," he said in the 12-minute document. "I think that's what really pushed me to do other drugs because I hate being sober. I wanted a medicine to do.

In August of the same year, Miller began dating Ariana Grande. After collaborating on "The Way" for 2013's Grande album Yours sincerely, the duo made things official, but even Grande's own image could not help the rapper, whose addiction problem has become a problem for both.

In May 2018, Grande, 25, and Miller ended their two-year relationship, claiming that their busy schedules hindered the situation, though Grande also noted that the relationship was "toxic."

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Just days after the news, the rapper allegedly crashed his Mercedes SUV into a power pole near his home in Los Angeles. Miller fled the scene but confessed later when the police arrived home, reporting that his blood alcohol level was almost double the legal limit at 0.15.

In one of his last interviews before his death, published August 3, 2018, Miller denied the rumors that he was an "addict." Rolling stone, recognizing that his DUI had worsened his reputation.

"If a group of people think I'm a big addict, agree. Cool. What can I really do? "Go talk to all these people and be like a Naw man, it's really not that simple? Did I do drugs? Yeah. But am I an addict? No."

He added, "I loaded the weapon for them. I went into that – It's my mistake. What does this particular event mean for all my character? It's a different conversation. But people will draw their own conclusions. And I have a history with that, so they will naturally assume that means I'm going through it. I can not change it. I will not lose my sleep. I just prefer to continue living my life and see where it's going.

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A little more than a month before his death, Miller had released his fifth album Swimming. Many of the album's songs focus on the consequences of his breakup with Grande, as well as on his own issues of depression and anxiety. It was also planned to launch a national tour in October.

On the song "Small Worlds" of his new album, Miller raps cruelly, "Tell me to hold on / I can feel my fingers slide / In mother – in an instant, I'll be gone."

Asked about his new album on September 6th, Miller said: Vulture that he likes – and actually prefers – the highs and lows of life.

"I really do not want to just happiness, "said Miller. "And I do not just want sadness either. I do not want to be depressed. I want to be able to have good days and bad days … I can not imagine myself not waking up from time to time and saying to myself, "I do not want to do it." the roof of the world."

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David Byrnes, a Miller lawyer, confirmed his death on Friday night. TMZ was the first to report the news.

Mac was a "brilliant light in this world for his family, his friends and his fans," said the musician's family in a statement.

If you or someone you know needs help, please contact SAMHSA support line on addiction at 1-800-662-HELP.