Monica Lewinsky said she was "ravaged" after Bill Clinton called her "this woman" in the doc: "I felt angry"

Monica Lewinsky has had many painful moments in her life. One of them read online the report of independent lawyer Kenneth Starr in 1998, which details the investigation he conducted into his affair with then President Bill Clinton.

Lewinsky, 45, has provided insight into his relationship with Clinton in a six-part docus for A & E's "The Clinton Affair" from Academy Award and award-winning producer Alex Gibney's Jigsaw Product and director Emmy Blair Foster.

The purpose of the special is to examine the breathtaking events that led to the impeachment of the age of 72, which occurred on December 19, 1998.

Lewinsky and his parents, as well as Clinton's relatives, including former senior counsel Sidney Blumenthal and former lawyer Bob Bennett, participated in the documentary. Foster had previously told the Hollywood Reporter that even though the Clintons were aware of the project, they were not participating in the series.

MONICA LEWINSKY SAYS ALL

A Clinton lawyer did not immediately respond to Fox News's request for comment.

In the documentary, the former White House intern recounted how horrifically she read Starr's sexually explicit report of her encounters with Clinton. She worried about the consequences of public scrutiny on her family.

"I felt bad for Mrs. Clinton, I felt bad for Chelsea [Clinton], Admit Lewinsky. "It was such a raw show."

Lewinsky was a 21-year-old graduate from Los Angeles when she started working at the White House as an unpaid intern in July 1995. She revealed that between August and October, Clinton and she had shared a number of "cute encounters". However, things degenerated in November 1995 when the federal government closed.

MONICA LEWINSKY: WHY DID I DO IT?

President Bill Clinton shakes his finger as he denies any inappropriate behavior with Monica Lewinsky in the Roosevelt Hall of the White House. "I did not have sex with this woman," Clinton said. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton stands near her man.
(Getty)

After the beginning of the story, Clinton publicly denied the allegations and said, "I have not had sex with this woman, Ms. Lewinsky."

She said the speech left her stunned.

"I was emptied," she explained. "I felt anger. I was hurt because I was called "this woman". But at the same time, there was a part of me that was happy that he did that. Because I wanted him to deny it. I did not want him to lose his job. You know, it was impossible to imagine what was going to happen. "

Lewinsky said she was frustrated with the way she was portrayed negatively by the press. Lewinsky also stated that she was unable to publicly defend herself from the media reaction when the case unfolded.

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"I would have claimed to have said that I went to D.C. to get my presidential knee pads, which I never said," she said. "… People started to shake my integrity and my character … I was crushed by the lack of media support … There did not seem to be too much of humanity … that just mocked me . But since I was in legal quarantine, I could not even speak for myself. "

In January 1998, Lewinsky's confidante, Linda Tripp, called the independent board office and revealed to her that she was aware of the case and offered them recorded conversations. The OIC then asked Tripp to arrange a meeting with Lewinsky at the Ritz-Carlton. Lewinsky was ambushed by FBI agents and taken to a hotel room where she was detained by OIC attorneys who waited until late into the night.

Lewinsky was seen to offer immunity if she cooperated with the prosecution.

"I think the first time someone heard my voice was when they pulled out the Tripp cassettes," she said. "They were broadcast in their entirety on C-SPAN … it was like another layer of burns."

On December 19, 1998, the House decided to sentence Clinton for lying under oath before a federal grand jury and for obstructing justice. On February 12, 1999, the Senate acquitted Clinton, who was about to complete her term.

Lewinsky said that although she was trying to move on after the scandal, she was still ridiculed by the press, which made it difficult for her to find work.

"I had a business of handbags and other projects," she said. "But finally, it did not satisfy me. It is a very long period of trouble and an incredible feeling of being stuck in the old story of Monica Lewinsky that was created. That's one of the things that made me really guilty of what had happened. Because it also meant that they could never escape it either. "

Mr. Lewinsky then obtained a Master's degree in Social Psychology from the London School of Economics in 2007. Today, she is contributing to the writing of Vanity Fair and campaigns against bullying.

"Thank God, at least in the last few years, I have had the opportunity to contribute positively. Therefore, when the younger generations and their families grow up, there will not only be this horrible story, "she said.

"I could never have imagined the impact it would have on others, on the presidency, on my life and of course on the country," added Lewinsky. "… Although my life has evolved in a way that makes me incredibly grateful … the consequences and the pain that resulted were tremendous.

Lewinsky was interviewed for more than 20 hours for the six-and-a-half hour documentary. More than 50 people associated with the scandal also provided information. In an essay published Tuesday by Vanity Fair, Lewinsky admitted to feeling guilty and ashamed of reliving his move to the White House in front of a camera and wondered if participation in the documentary was the right decision for her.

In June of this year, Clinton was criticized for having announced in an interview with Craig Melvin of NBC that he did not think he had to apologize directly to Lewinsky because he publicly apologized 20 years ago. .

But Lewinsky thinks Clinton "should excuse herself" from her.

"I am less disappointed with him and more disappointed for him," she wrote. "He would be a better man for that … and we, in turn, a better society.

Ms. Lewinsky also explained that, although she had already apologized to Hillary and Chelsea in an interview with Barbara Walters in 1999, she would be grateful for the opportunity to personally contact Hillary, 71 years old.

"And if I had to see Hillary Clinton in person today, I know I would use all the force needed to recognize her again – sincerely – how sorry I am," wrote Lewinsky. "I know I would do it because I did it in other difficult situations related to 1998. I've also written letters to apologize to other people," he says. including to some people who have also hurt me. I believe that when we are trapped in our inability to evolve, in our inability to humbly and painfully sympathize with others, we remain victims ourselves. "

"The Clinton Affair" will air on Sunday, November 18 on A & E.