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I think what I like most about all the NFL action this weekend is that I'm pretty sure we have officially found someone who throws a football ball worse than Nathan Peterman and that c is Conor McGregor.
First, let me say that I had never thought that we would find a person worse than Peterman to throw a football. This guy is an interception machine. However, no matter how bad he is, he is certainly not bad McGregor, which is a new level of evil that I did not even know existed.
McGregor looks like he wants to throw a pineapple and, based on the movement of his arm, I'm 90% sure that he learned to pitch while watching a Tim Tebow movie. McGregor had the ugliest throw of the weekend, but it was not the worst. This honor belongs to the fan of the Patriotes who decided to throw a beer at Tyreek Hill.
When I saw this happen, my first thought was: WHY WILL A PERSON MANAGE A BEER TO AN NFL GAME? NFL stadium beers cost about 900% more than in real life, which means it wasted $ 15 worth of beer. If you ask me, this is the real joke in this situation. It seems that the moral of the story is this: do not waste beer because you should not waste beer, but also do not waste beer because you could be accused of multiple crimes.
Now that I think about it, I wonder if McGregor can throw a beer, because we obviously know that he can not throw a football. By cons, you know who can throw a football (to my surprise): BROCK OSWEILER.
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I do not know at all how Brock Osweiler beat the The Bears, but he did it and for whatever reason, it's the only team he can beat with regularity. Osweiler is now 3-0 against the Bears, but 11-12 against everyone. I do not know if Osweiler read the "Berenstain Bears" as a child, looked at the Bad news bears or like to eat gelatin cubs, but whatever it is, this guy is not intimidated by Bears.
Well, it's time to give up and make my choice.
In fact, before coming to my choices, here's a quick reminder that you can check out the weekly picks of all CBSSports.com NFL experts by clicking here. If you have to click here and consult the other experts this week, it's because Pete Prisco was printing money at home during week 6 with his choices. Well, if any secret service or US Treasury reads, I should clarify that Prisco does not actually print money at home. In fact, I do not even know if he knows how a printer works. Anyway, I think what I mean is that Prisco has literally scared the whole country with his selections this week. According to our Pickwatch friends, the Prisco record (13-2) is the best of the 117 media members they watched for week 6.
Prisco also went 10-5 with his picks against the spread, which made me ashamed.
So which teams should you return to the 7th week of the NFL season? And which competitor of the Super Bowl is struggling? Now check out SportsLine to see which teams win more than 50% of the simulations, all from the model that outperformed 98% of the experts that NFLPickWatch.com has followed in the past two seasons.
Okay, let's go to the choices.
Choice of NFL Week 7
Denver (2-4) in Arizona (1-5)
20:20 ET, Thursday (FOX / NFL / Amazon network)
This match is likely to become the worst game of all time Thursday night, mainly because nobody wants to sit for three hours to watch two teams combined for a total of three wins on the season. If the NFL wants to spice up this game, I have an idea: the losing coach is fired.
It may sound crazy, but believe me, that's not the case. On the one hand, I think both coaches already think that will happen anyway. I mean, it looks like Steve Wilks is basically ready to sign his own pink slip if the cards lose.
I would say that the Cardinals are the easy choice here because Wilks will inspire them with a speech "please, win this game so I do not get fired", but I'm not sure it works, and that's mainly because There's a 90% chance that Vance Joseph will make the same speech in the Broncos locker room.
Honestly, it seems like John Elway and Cardinals general manager Steve Keim have secretly agreed to turn this case into a "loser who gets fired" without telling anyone.
Now, having a coach who is fired for losing seems pretty brutal, but let me say that if the NFL does not use this idea now, Vince McMahon will use it in the XFL and will probably draw 11 Billion dollars, use this $ 11 billion to buy the NFL and implement the rule anyway, so really, the NFL is pushing back the inevitable if it does not start using the rule now.
One thing I will say about this game is that it really has the potential to be so bad that it's good. The Cardinals and Broncos have the two worst defenses in the NFL, which means we could see about 900 yards of winnings on Thursday. In fact, the defenses against the race of these two teams are so bad that there is literally no reason for a team to throw a pass. If David Johnson does not have 50 passes, the Cardinals should fire all of their coaches and I think Larry Fitzgerald's father would agree with me.
In fact, looking at this tweet, Larry Fitzgerald's father might want this "loser to be fired" to happen more than me.
One of the Cardinals coaches in the hot seat is offensive coordinator Mike McCoy. Arizona has been horrible to the offensive, but I'm going to leave some margin to McCoy because I think he's virtually ignored the game planning for the first six weeks of the season so to be able to focus on Denver. It's a revenge game for him. McCoy was the offensive coordinator of the Broncos last season, but he is fired after just 10 games.
I take the Cardinals and it scares me a little. It's mainly because I play a bit at 24-0 and I pick the NFC West team games this year. I put all this on the line by taking a team that has nothing to do. t won a home game all season (0-3).
The choice: Cardinals 20-17 on the Broncos
Minnesota (3-2-1) to N.Y. Jets (3-3)
1 pm ET (FOX)
It's perhaps my new favorite rivalry in the NFL and all because of Kirk Cousins, who has chosen to play for the Vikings against the Jets this season. Although I do not know it for a fact, I'm pretty sure that made it the first person in the history of the world to choose to live in Minneapolis, above New York. The crazy thing about the Cousins situation is that he basically used the Jets as leverage to get a better deal with the Vikings. It was like watching the football version of a bad Lifetime movie, which is actually quite ironic because Cousins made a documentary about his free agency that looks like a bad Lifetime movie.
According to this video, we now know that the Vikings originally offered Cousins a total of $ 75 million over three years and that this figure had been raised to $ 84 million to make it more competitive with $ 90 million bid from the Jets. Cousins then signed with the Vikings at $ 84 millionwhich means he's decided to lose $ 6 million rather than playing for the Jets. As for insults, "I would rather lose $ 6 million than playing for your team" is definitely in the top three. If a friend said, "I'd rather lose $ 6 million than spend time with you." If that happened, that friend would probably not be your friend anymore.
The good news for Cousins is that I do not even think Jets fans hate him for all that. It's because the team ended up with a quarterback anyway, in the form of Sam Darnold, who is a bit like Cousins, but $ 54 million. cheaper.
The irony in all this is that the defense of the Jets could be the worst nightmare of the Cousins. Not only are they tied for second in the NFL with 10 interceptions, but they also forced nine fumbles, which I mention only because the Cousins escape more than anyone else. Well, technically he ranks third in the NFL in tweeting, so I guess he's not fumbling more than anyone else, but he gropes often.
Not only are the Jets looking for Cousins, but I think they will also be inspired by the return of Defense Coordinator Kacy Rodgers, who has missed the last 10 days with a serious, undisclosed illness.
The choice: Jets 23-20 on the Vikings
New Orleans (4-1) to Baltimore (4-2)
16:05 ET (FOX)
I do not know if Drew Brees believes in voodoo dolls, but I suppose so, because he lives in New Orleans, and I also assume that someone has a voodoo doll of him that he does not have. uses only when he plays the Ravens. In 18 years of career, there is only one team that Brees did not beat, it's the Ravens. To put this in perspective: The Houston Texans did not even exist when Brees' career began in 2001, but he has a win against them. Brees also has a win over the Saints even though he's been playing for them for 12 years.
In a certain way, the Ravens are the one and only team that Brees has not been able to beat. I can not cook anything more complicated than a pop pie, Zoolander can not turn left and Brees can not defeat the Ravens. These problems are not repairable, just live with them.
Brees also has the worst chance. Of all the years he could try to end his series, it is not the year to do it. The Ravens have probably had their best defense since 2000, they only give 12.8 points per game and NO one has scored a touchdown in the second half on them all season. The only thing that could stop the Ravens' defense at this point is that the Tennessee authorities decide to arrest them for what they did to Marcus Mariota on Sunday because I'm pretty sure that it was illegal. I do not think Brees will be fired 11 times, but I think he's going to have a hard time, unless he knows somehow who has his Voodoo doll.
The choice: Ravens 22-19 on the Saints
Dallas (3-3) to Washington (3-2)
4:25 pm ET (CBS)
The first thing I should probably point out here is that, yes, this game is on CBS (Jim Nantz and Tony Romo will be on the call). Although these two teams play normally on Fox, this game has been subjected to a cross-flex, which is a cool word used by the NFL to decide to switch from one game from one network to another. It could probably also be a cool word that we would all use if someone ever had to tie a crossbow to a Bowflex, but I'm not going to hold my breath on it.
Anyway, this game made me think about how I sometimes like to imagine what each NFL team would do if it was run by its fans. I do not have a life, that is why I have the time to imagine these things. The reason I am raising this issue is because I am convinced that the Cowboys would suffer more head coaches and quarterbacks than any other team if the fans headed the team. One thing I know for sure, is that Jason Garrett would not have work.
I'm also pretty sure Dak Prescott is already on the bench.
And yes, this is a petition asking Jerry Jones to sit in Prescott and sign Romo again. For some reason, I'm a bit sure that if Jerry saw this petition, maybe he could jump into the CBS stand on Sunday and try to convince Romo to try again. Of course, if you come to Dak, it would not be the week you would like to do it.
If Prescott has been unstoppable against a team from his career, it's the Redskins. In four games, Prescott sank 4-0. One of the main reasons why the Cowboys have been so successful against the Redskins is that Prescott plays football without error, then Ezekiel Elliott goes wild. Against the Jaguars, the Cowboys have added a new ride and let Prescott go wild. That makes a lot of people delirious and I'm not sure that the Redskins will be able to stop it.
The choice: Cowboys 26-23 on the Redskins
NFL Week 7 Choice: Everything Else
Chargers 30-13 on Titans
Patriots 27-17 on the bears
Colts 20-16 on bills
Lions 27-24 on the dolphins
Eagles 30-23 against the Panthers
Buccaneers 33-30 on Browns
Jaguars 19-16 on the Texans
Rams 34-20 on 49ers
Chefs 30-27 against the Bengals
Falcons 31-20 on the giants
BYES: Packers, Raiders, Steelers, Seahawks
Last week
Best choice: Last week, I predicts that the Seahawks would score 27 points and beat the Raiders in London, then the Seahawks came out and scored 27 points and beat the Raiders in London. Normally, this is the part where I hit my back for my choice, but I'm not going to do it here, because I think we all knew it was going to happen. I mean, the Raiders can barely win games in America, so there was no reason to think that they could possibly win a match on another continent. The only advantage of this defeat for the Raiders is that there seems to be now a 98% chance that Bruce Irvin will become a father in nine months.
If Irvin needs advice, do you know who is really good at making babies? Prince Harry.
Harry did not waste time there. Hopefully Irvin was able to get some advice before leaving England on Sunday.
Worst choice: Last week, I persuaded myself that Odell Beckham had shown himself normal in an ESPN interview with Lil Wayne and that the Giants would be using it for the first time. one way or another to inspire Batles. Well, let me just tell you that I have never been so wrong in my life, except perhaps at this time when I said that cell phones would be just a fashion. For some reason, I think they'll now stick to it.
Record of choice
Directly at the 6th week: 9-6
Global SU: 60-31-2
Against the spread of week 6: 5-10
TTY in general: 42-48-3
Exact score forecast: 2
You can find John Breech on Facebook or Twitter and If he's not doing any of these things, he's probably marketing his new invention, half crossbow, half Bowflex.
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