Vontae Davis probably likes irony.
Twitter
I will print this one and put it on my fridge.
After Davis dropped the Sunday Bills, I thought it might be the craziest story of the day in the NFL, but I remembered that the Browns existed. As long as the Browns exist, there will always be a new form of madness and this form of craziness will always find a new way to lose, which seems to happen every week.
This time, their kicker shot a Vontae Davis, but only in the sense that none of them has more work. Zane Gonzalez was cut on Monday after missing four crucial kicks against the Saints (two field goals, two extra points).
It's a pity that the Browns did not scour Bourbon Street for that one kicker sign this weekend, because I'm 40% sure that this drunk Browns lover in the French Quarter is better than any Cleveland player for five years.
The twist here is that French drunk quarterback trials may actually be the Browns' best chance of finding a successful replacement for Gonzalez.
Speaking of Gonzalez, the only person who had a week worse than him was probably Marc Sessler of NFL.com. Let me say that's why I never promise to drink bleach on Twitter.
Plus, I never bought a 1,000-day bleach stock, but I have to imagine that it can not be cheap.
What NFL choices can you confidently make in the third week? And which favorite breaks down? Visit SportsLine now to see which NFL teams are winning more than 50% of the simulations., all this in the model that has beaten 98% of the experts in the last two years.
Okay, enough stall, let's go to the selections.
In fact, before making my choice, here's a quick reminder that you can check out the weekly picks of each NFL CBSSports.com expert by clicking here. The reason you should click and consult other experts this week is that Pete Prisco beat ALL other members of the country's media.
Prisco chose NFL games before I was alive, before you were alive, and I'm pretty sure he was picking matches even before football was invented. I think what I'm trying to say here, is that all these years of hard work finally paid off for Prisco, as he dominated the whole country over the weekend with his choices of week 2. According to our Pickwatch friends, the Prisco record of 12-3-1 was the best result among the 117 media members they follow.
After 78 years playing at the NFL, the tides finally turned in the direction of Prisco. One day, they will also turn in my direction. Until then, you can click here to follow Prisco on Twitter, where you can ask him what his The secret is to make NFL choices.
As for my choices for week 3, let's move on to those now, and for you to know, I promise you not to leave them midway.
New York Jets (1-1) in Cleveland (1-0-1)
Thursday at 20:20 ET (NFL network)
If I've noticed one thing about the Browns this season, it's that they show up every Sunday without an offensive game plan and make up for it as they go along. Not surprisingly, it has not worked well for them until now and I think people are starting to notice.
The trick with Thursdays games, however, is that there is not really enough time for both teams to put together a good game plan. four games on Thursday. To put it in perspective, the Browns are 0-34-1 in their last 35 games on Sunday, which means the Browns are somehow better when they do not have to spend a full week of convenient. In a strange way, this explains the last 20 years of Browns football.
Conventional wisdom says never choose the Browns to win a match because they never win any match, but I decided to throw conventional wisdom out the window this week and take the Browns off of three points, which seems like a horrible decision based on The Browns' record with last-minute goals on the field this year, but I'm going to do it anyway. If their new kicker fights on Thursday, the Browns will have to hunt down the drunk guy from the French Quarter and sign him. In fact, they should just sign it anyway.
The choice: Browns 19-16 on Jets
Oakland (0-2) to Miami (2-0)
1 pm ET (CBS)
Jon Gruden has only two games in his ten year contract and his $ 100 million contract is already starting to look like a worse investment than MoviePass Stock.
In just two weeks, Gruden managed to trade his best defensive player, he did not win any games, and was even mocked by opposing bettors, who are arguably the closest to an NFL coach. If you're wondering how a player could make fun of a coach, here's a video that Marquette King, a former Raider player, made about Gruden.
I'm not sure that there are Oscars for Twitter videos, but if there are any, someone must name it.
Oh, and do not forget that Gruden also does not seem to be to hear with his general manager.
Although everything I listed up to here was bad, the biggest disaster for the Raiders was their second part. In both games this season, the Raiders led at half-time to end up with 36 points (43-7) in the second half. To put this in perspective, no other NFL team was even beaten by 25 points in the second half of this year. It's almost as if Gruden had forgotten how to make adjustments at half-time or forgot that they even existed during his 10 years of coaching.
If the owner of the Raiders, Mark Davis, wanted to have a football team below average that could not score in the second half, he could have hired Jeff Fisher. As for the Dolphins, they have participated in two of the strangest games of the season, so I'm expecting something weird on Sunday, as a Raiders victory.
The choice: Raiders 30-27 on the dolphins
Los Angeles Chargers (1-1) at the Los Angeles Rams (2-0)
16:05 ET (CBS)
Over the past 12 months, I've wondered if Chargers fans really existed in L.A and I think we'll find out during this game. When the Chargers play at home, the stadium is usually filled with about 90% fans, 9% confuse fans who thought buying Rams tickets and five Chargers fans. And just for the record, all my estimates are based on the photo below of the Chargers HOME opener.
Sunday's game being a home game at Rams, the big question is whether the five Chargers fans are going to make the trip to the Coliseum, because, let's be honest, the Chargers can not really afford to lose those fans. At this point.
The easiest way for Chargers to gain more fans at the LA would be to win this game, but I do not see it happening. Stan Kroenke, the owner of Rams, is a billionaire and I'm sure he spent about half of his money during the off-season to distribute huge expansions, just so the Rams did not lose this game.
By the way, if the NFL really wanted to spark interest in the game, it would make it a Pay-Per-View and pay millions of dollars to Vince McMahon to promote it as Loser Leaves Los Angeles. Ratings would go through the roof in San Diego and St. Louis.
Regarding the game, the Rams have the fifth-highest score in the NFL, they only allowed one touchdown throughout the season, and I'm not sure anyone can stop them, especially a defensive of the Chargers who probably will not. to have Joey Bosa.
The choice: Rams 30-20 on chargers
Dallas (1-1) to Seattle (0-2)
4:25 ET (FOX)
It does not seem possible, but in two games this year, Russell Wilson has already been fired 12 times in total. In fact, the Seahawks' offensive line has been so bad this season that Seattle fans are now encouraging any race where Russell Wilson does not die.
I am not a lawyer for the Ministry of Labor, but I am sure Wilson must be a strong candidate for the risk premium at this point. Then, the Seahawks will face a team that has no goal in the race, but unfortunately for Wilson, it will not be this week. After being rolled by the Bears on Monday on six sacks, the Seahawks' offensive line will now have to face a Cowboy defense that ranks second in the NFL with nine sacks in the season.
Of course, the only thing the Seahawks will do to them this week is that they play at home. After spending the first two weeks of the season on the road, the Seahawks were finally able to play their first game at home on Sunday, which I only raise because they have NEVER lost a first leg match with Pete Carroll. This is essentially Joe DiMaggio's series hitting home opener of the NFL. Since Carroll took the reins in 2010, the Seahawks have gone 8-0 at home and let me tell you that DiMaggio has never won eight consecutive home games. The Seahawks also scored 13-0 in September in Carroll's home games.
I do not know why the Seahawks are so unbeatable at home games in September, but if I've learned one thing in my life, it's that I do not need to understand something to enjoy it. I still do not know why a human has agreed to marry a teddy bear Ted 2, but I watch this movie regularly, mainly for the Tom Brady cameo.
If the Cowboys did not have one of the three worst NFL offenses, I would be tempted to choose them, but they do, so there's no temptation here.
The choice: Seahawks 20 to 16 on Cowboys
Pittsburgh (0-1-1) to Tampa Bay (2-0)
Monday at 8:15 pm ET (ESPN)
I do not know how it happened, but in the space of just two weeks, Ryan Fitzpatrick has gone from a whopping NFL quartile to becoming the most famous alumni of Harvard. Of course, some people might claim that Matt Damon, Conan O 'Brien or Mark Zuckerberg are all more famous, but I do not buy them because I've never seen any of these guys throw 400 yards and four hit in a football game. . I mean, let's look at their curriculum vitae.
Invent Facebook? Easy.
Do you organize your own late night show? Simple.
Win an Oscar? No problem.
Leading the Buccaneers to a 2-0 start? Miracle limit.
If Zuckerberg were smart, he would jump on Fitzpatrick's hype-train now and change Facebook's name to Fitzbook and immediately demand that everyone wear the outfit below in his profile picture.
I think I wore something like a CBS Christmas party. It's a miracle, I always have a job.
Although I should be sold on Fitzpatrick at this point, I am not. Look, the guy has been in the NFL since 2005 and he's never made the playoffs and there's a reason for that: for two games where he looks like a Hall of Famer, there are three other games where he plays as he learned the football game of JaMarcus Russell.
The law of averages says that Fitzpatrick is going to have a bad game at one point, and I guess it will be Monday night. In contrast, Murphy's law states that the Steelers will completely implode Monday, so maybe my laws are mixed, which is quite possible. I mean, I did not go to Harvard. Of course, you do not need a Harvard degree to know that the Steelers have been unbeatable in prime time in recent days: in their last 10 nights, the Steelers have gone 10- 0.
The choice: Steelers 34-30 against buccaneers
NFL Week 3: Everything Else
Falcons 41-34 on the saints
Heads 38-24 on 49ers
Vikings 34-13 on the bills
Eagles 22-16 on Colts
Packers 27-24 on Redskins
Bengals 23-20 against the Panthers
Jaguars 27-17 against Titans
The crows 23 to 16 on the Broncos
Texans 20-17 on the giants
Bears 27-10 on the Cardinals
Patriots 31-23 on Lions
Last week
Best choice: Last week, I said that shippers would beat The 31-20 Bills of Nathan Peterman revenge game, then the Chargers came out and beat the 31-20 Bills in the Nathan Peterman revenge game, which means that I selected the EXACT SCORE of the game. I am sure it is the closest I can ever have to know what it is to choose the exact price of a showcase on "The Price is Right". Although I would love to sit here and write 17 paragraphs on the quality of my choice, I will not do it because the last thing the world needs right now is that whoever writes 17 paragraphs on everything concerning the Invoices. Basically, I leave the section of the best choices. Vontae Davis would be proud.
Worst choice: I've made bad choices in my life – the moment I accidentally chose a vegetarian meal at my friend's wedding is probably in the top three – but from the football point of view, my prediction of pre -season for the Buccaneers could be my worst prediction ever. Just before the start of the season, I predicted that the Buccaneers would be the worst football team and that they would finish the year with a record of 2-14. As soon as I made my prediction, Bucs fans let me have it on Twitter, which was rather surprising because I did not know that there were fans of Bucs on Twitter.
The guy below even made a bold prediction that I laughed at three weeks ago, but now I think the joke is for me.
At this point, my only prediction is that the Bucs finish the year on a series of 14 losses. I think that means that my only hope at this point is that Jameis Winston will come back from suspension and that a quarterback controversy will eventually derail his season.
If the Bucs win their third win of the season this week, I guess I'll have to eat raven, which does not even bother me because I know it'll taste better than the vegetarian meal I've had. at my friend's wedding. .
Selection file
All right in week 2: 11-4-1
Global SU: 20-10-2
Against spread in week 2: 8-8
Global ATS: 15-16-1
Exact score forecast: 1
You can find John Breech on Facebook or Twitter and If he does not do any of these things, he probably tries to use his MoviePass even if it is impossible to use your MoviePass at this point.
require.config({"baseUrl":"https://sportsfly.cbsistatic.com/fly-916/bundles/sportsmediajs/js-build","config":{"version":{"fly/components/accordion":"1.0","fly/components/alert":"1.0","fly/components/base":"1.0","fly/components/carousel":"1.0","fly/components/dropdown":"1.0","fly/components/fixate":"1.0","fly/components/form-validate":"1.0","fly/components/image-gallery":"1.0","fly/components/iframe-messenger":"1.0","fly/components/load-more":"1.0","fly/components/load-more-article":"1.0","fly/components/load-more-scroll":"1.0","fly/components/loading":"1.0","fly/components/marketing-slider":"1.0","fly/components/modal":"1.0","fly/components/modal-iframe":"1.0","fly/components/network-bar":"1.0","fly/components/poll":"1.0","fly/components/search-player":"1.0","fly/components/social-button":"1.0","fly/components/social-counts":"1.0","fly/components/social-links":"1.0","fly/components/tabs":"1.0","fly/components/video":"1.0","fly/libs/easy-xdm":"2.4.17.1","fly/libs/jquery.cookie":"1.2","fly/libs/jquery.throttle-debounce":"1.1","fly/libs/jquery.widget":"1.9.2","fly/libs/omniture.s-code":"1.0","fly/utils/jquery-mobile-init":"1.0","fly/libs/jquery.mobile":"1.3.2","fly/libs/backbone":"1.0.0","fly/libs/underscore":"1.5.1","fly/libs/jquery.easing":"1.3","fly/managers/ad":"2.0","fly/managers/components":"1.0","fly/managers/cookie":"1.0","fly/managers/debug":"1.0","fly/managers/geo":"1.0","fly/managers/gpt":"4.2","fly/managers/history":"2.0","fly/managers/madison":"1.0","fly/managers/social-authentication":"1.0","fly/managers/tealium":"1.0","fly/utils/data-prefix":"1.0","fly/utils/data-selector":"1.0","fly/utils/function-natives":"1.0","fly/utils/guid":"1.0","fly/utils/log":"1.0","fly/utils/object-helper":"1.0","fly/utils/string-helper":"1.0","fly/utils/string-vars":"1.0","fly/utils/url-helper":"1.0","libs/jshashtable":"2.1","libs/select2":"3.5.1","libs/jsonp":"2.4.0","libs/jquery/mobile":"1.4.5","libs/modernizr.custom":"2.6.2","libs/velocity":"1.2.2","libs/dataTables":"1.10.6","libs/dataTables.fixedColumns":"3.0.4","libs/dataTables.fixedHeader":"2.1.2","libs/dateformat":"1.0.3","libs/waypoints/infinite":"3.1.1","libs/waypoints/inview":"3.1.1","libs/waypoints/jquery.waypoints":"3.1.1","libs/waypoints/sticky":"3.1.1","libs/jquery/dotdotdot":"1.6.1","libs/jquery/flexslider":"2.1","libs/jquery/lazyload":"1.9.3","libs/jquery/maskedinput":"1.3.1","libs/jquery/marquee":"1.3.1","libs/jquery/numberformatter":"1.2.3","libs/jquery/placeholder":"0.2.4","libs/jquery/scrollbar":"0.1.6","libs/jquery/tablesorter":"2.0.5","libs/jquery/touchswipe":"1.6.18","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.core":"1.11.4","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.draggable":"1.11.4","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.mouse":"1.11.4","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.position":"1.11.4","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.slider":"1.11.4","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.sortable":"1.11.4","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.touch-punch":"0.2.3","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.autocomplete":"1.11.4","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.accordion":"1.11.4","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.tabs":"1.11.4","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.menu":"1.11.4","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.dialog":"1.11.4","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.resizable":"1.11.4","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.button":"1.11.4","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.tooltip":"1.11.4","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.effects":"1.11.4","libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.datepicker":"1.11.4"}},"shim":{"liveconnection/managers/connection":{"deps":["liveconnection/libs/sockjs-0.3.4"]},"liveconnection/libs/sockjs-0.3.4":{"exports":"SockJS"},"libs/setValueFromArray":{"exports":"set"},"libs/getValueFromArray":{"exports":"get"},"fly/libs/jquery.mobile-1.3.2":["version!fly/utils/jquery-mobile-init"],"libs/backbone.marionette":{"deps":["jquery","version!fly/libs/underscore","version!fly/libs/backbone"],"exports":"Marionette"},"fly/libs/underscore-1.5.1":{"exports":"_"},"fly/libs/backbone-1.0.0":{"deps":["version!fly/libs/underscore","jquery"],"exports":"Backbone"},"libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.tabs-1.11.4":["jquery","version!libs/jquery/ui/jquery.ui.core","version!fly/libs/jquery.widget"],"libs/jquery/flexslider-2.1":["jquery"],"libs/dataTables.fixedColumns-3.0.4":["jquery","version!libs/dataTables"],"libs/dataTables.fixedHeader-2.1.2":["jquery","version!libs/dataTables"],"https://sports.cbsimg.net/js/CBSi/app/VideoPlayer/AdobePass-min.js":["https://sports.cbsimg.net/js/CBSi/util/Utils-min.js"]},"map":{"*":{"facebook":"https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js","facebook-debug":"https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/all/debug.js","google":"https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js","google-platform":"https://apis.google.com/js/client:platform.js","google-csa":"https://www.google.com/adsense/search/async-ads.js","google-javascript-api":"https://www.google.com/jsapi","google-client-api":"https://apis.google.com/js/api:client.js","gpt":"https://www.googletagservices.com/tag/js/gpt.js","recaptcha":"https://www.google.com/recaptcha/api.js?onload=loadRecaptcha&render=explicit","recaptcha_ajax":"https://www.google.com/recaptcha/api/js/recaptcha_ajax.js","twitter":"https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js","mpx":"libs/tpPdk","tealium":"//tags.tiqcdn.com/utag/cbsi/cbssportssite/prod/utag.js","taboola":"https://cdn.taboola.com/libtrc/cbsinteractive-cbssports/loader.js","sharethrough":"https://native.sharethrough.com/assets/tag.js","newsroom":"https://c2.taboola.com/nr/cbsinteractive-cbssports/newsroom.js","adobe-pass":"https://sports.cbsimg.net/js/CBSi/app/VideoPlayer/AdobePass-min.js","video-utils":"https://sports.cbsimg.net/js/CBSi/util/Utils-min.js"}},"waitSeconds":300});