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You expect this game to be the product of Mike Leach's crazy spirit. Maybe it would be played on a sun-splattered west coast field full of sun-splashed NFL prospects.
The Big 12, with its high scores, should be involved.
But no, as the season turns into a match of week 5, we must consider the seriousness of what happens Saturday night at Beaver Stadium.
No. 9 Penn State will host Ohio State Number 4 in what looks like a "losing city" battle for the Big Ten East, Big Ten and perhaps a playoff spot.
But that's how these teams arrived at this moment. For the first time in 56 years, a Big Ten match will feature the two main crimes in the country.
The Nittany Lions averaged 55.5 points per game. The Buckeyes are second with 54.5. They are also 1-2 in touchdowns (Penn State 31, Ohio State 30).
Combined, Ohio State and Penn State scored 70 consecutive points against their opponents.
"Wild," said Leach whose faults at Texas Tech finished in the top 10 scoring seven times.
Although it may seem early to release such numbers, this is really not the case. A third of the regular season is over. Trace McSorley, the quarterback of Penn State, you know him. The loss of Saquon Barkley did not seem to have much importance. The same goes Joe Moorhead (now Mississippi State).
Penn State's Hair-On-Fire quarterback leads the conference in touchdowns (six) as the best quarterback rushing into the league.
This new child is Dwayne Haskins, already screened as a one year old prodigy (year as a beginner) at Ohio State.
"He has a" factor "about it," said Steve Clarkson, the coach from Haskins' California start when the quarterback was a youngster. "If it continues at this rate, I would expect Ohio State to be in the Final Four … if it continues like that, I do not see it staying."
That would be a reference to Haskins' sudden potential in the NFL. The No Power Five quarter was more accurate (75.7%).
At a place that tends to be out of breath on his Buckeyes, Haskins is The Next One. We now know why the Bucknuts were so in a hurry for J.T. Barrett, the leader of the Big Ten's professional career, has to move on.
Haskins saved the Michigan game last year after Barrett's injury. This year he has thrown at least four touchdowns in a match three times.
"It's a great time, a prime time match," said Haskins after the TCU victory on Sept. 15. "I did a bit against Michigan, I decided to do it throughout the match."
Those who cover the Ohio State have not seen a quarter of Buckeye turn like Haskins maybe … forever. Troy Smith, the winner of the 2006 Heisman Trophy, could be the last quarterback of the Ohio State with this kind of arm strength.
"We had some very famous guys here and I saw them," Urban Meyer told reporters. "One thing about Columbus, Ohio, is the show and they're getting bigger than life."
These same insiders have suggested that, thanks to Haskins' arm, the school of Archie Griffin, Eddie George and Maurice Clarett has even become a passing team.
Meyer's protégé, Tim Tebow, is one of the greatest university players of this age. Haskins already seems to have more NFL potential.
"Once you have the weapons they have, I think you can do a lot of things," said Pat Cilento, Haskins High School coach. "I think Urban did a great job of adapting to his talent."
Cilento coaches at the Bullis School, an 87-year-old private institution from kindergarten to grade 12, which opened at the former Bolivian embassy outside Washington.
Saturday, it will be known as a kind of hatchery. Haskins will be one of three Bullis players on the pitch. The tight end of Penn State, Jonathan Holland, and linebacker, Cam Brown, both played with Haskins at the Maryland School.
"For a small little school on the Potomac, it's pretty good," Cilento said.
The former defensive player of last year's Big Ten American, Shawn Springs, had convinced the Haskins family to leave New Jersey for the DC area.
It is there that Haskins flourished in the region rich in talents. He and McSorley, from Ashburn, Virginia, were training together just 30 miles from each other. Springs was a product of the region, having played in Silver Spring, Maryland, and for five years with the Washington Redskins.
"Dwayne was a bit under the radar because we knew we had a special talent," said Cilento, "but there is no reason to hurt him – run him, but throw him away."
Haskins, added Cilento, has only thrown 20 times per game. The Bulldogs only play 10 regular season games.
"There was no reason for Dwayne to take unnecessary strokes," Cilento said. "David Cutcliffe went through the school to recruit Duke, and what I took was great to play only 10 games and not to have a playoff."
We then see the full bloom of Haskins. He has been criticized for not running anymore, but why try his luck? Haskins was ranked among the top 10 professional-style quarterbacks when leaving high school. Both tailbacks – J.K. Dobbins and Mike Weber – are professional prospects.
"Not only do I think it's smart of him, I think that's smart coaches," said Cilento about the Ohio State. "What are you going to gain from that?" [running] – 3, 4, maybe 10 meters? "
Yogi Roth, an analyst at Pac-12 Network, said the two-quarters in Saturday's game are heading to the NFL. Hair-On-Fire (McSorley) vs. Gun For Hire (Haskins)?
"I think the NFL is about five years behind the university in terms of working in college," Roth said. "And for what it's worth, Haskins is one of two quarterbacks projected to the next level."
Ohio State-Penn State, then, is a glimpse of a national offensive revolution in sport that dates back at least 15 years. It certainly touched the Big Ten. In four of the past five seasons, a Big Ten attack has finished in the top 11 points. The score is up in the league this season 16.5 percent.
We should not be surprised. Ohio State and Penn State tied for sixth overall last season, averaging more than 41 points per game.
But remember, Wisconsin always plays nose down. The offense of Jim Harbaugh is about as creative as the vanilla pudding. Rutgers does not scare anyone. Nebraska seems miles away.
Given the weather, the philosophies and tradition of the Big Ten, high-flying offenses, are rare. The Big 12 accounted for almost one-quarter of the top 10 offenses (12) in the last five years.
The last time the ten Big Ten scored a double (two games to a minimum), it was in 1990. Iowa was first with 54 points per game. Indiana was No. 2 at 51.5. They did not play this year.
Of course, Penn State needed 45 points to avoid a season loss to the Appalachian state. Specifically, the Nits had 45 points in the case when necessary.
No Barkley? No problem. Miles Sanders, the junior half-back, is number two in the Big Ten.
The lowest total of the Ohio State was 40 at the beginning of the month against the elite TCU defensively. The Buckeyes could still be elite defensively, but they will have to do without American defensive end Nick Bosa before the end of the season.
The game may not be a shootout, but any preconceived ideas you have about Haskins, Penn State, Ohio State, and even the Big Ten, must be taken.
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