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Ariana Grande, shown here at a concert in Los Angeles in 2018, recorded a song about Pete Davidson titled "Thank u, next." (Mario Anzuoni / Reuters)
There are songs for every stage of a breakup – many of them are sad and mournful. When you are plunged into denial or anger, for example, you could blow up the Weeknd, Rihanna, Adele or Sam Smith.
But once you've shouted and you feel ready to move on? Relaunch the optimistic rupture track brimming with positivity and acceptance. The 21st century has brought dozens of breaking songs about being stronger after a split. Kelly Clarkson's "Survivor", "Stronger", "Part of Me" by Katy Perry, from Think Destiny. In recent years, we have witnessed a new type of breakout song that puts aside the tough girl attitude to focus on self esteem.
You must love yourself before you can love someone else.
It's a nerdy concept, but in the days of the "I love" button and the heart-shaped emoji, it sounds right. Meeting experts and life coaches preach self-love; the therapists try to push their clients there. The protagonists of romantic comedies usually have to find the trust of the interior before they can find the love that lasts. And with "Thank you, then," Ariana Grande is the latest pop star to come out with a dissolving anthem brimming with self-esteem and gratitude.
In "Thank you, then", Grande congratulates her ex. To have taught him love, patience and pain. She then returns these attributes and applies them to herself: "She taught me the love / She taught me patience / How she handles the pain." And guess what? Great is talking about moving on to another relationship – with herself: "I know that they say I'm going too fast / But this one will last / Because she's calling Ari / And I'm so good at it. "
Singing positively about a past relationship can be tricky. On Sunday, Grande tweeted that two of her ex, mentioned in the song – Ricky Alvarez and Big Sean – had heard the song before it was made public. (The former Mac Miller of Grande died on September 7.) It is unclear whether Pete Davidson, with whom he was engaged, had heard the song before it was released, although he wished Good luck to Grande. this Saturday night.
"Thank u, next" by Grande appears just a few days after Carly Rae Jepsen's new single "Party for One". The video of the song merges self-love with self-concern, because yes, Jepsen is shaken by a breakup. A "party of one" may sound sad, but a party for it sounds delightfully decadent. "I'm just going to dance for myself, back on my rhythm", as Jepsen sings, skipping the step "What does not kill you, it makes you stronger" and agreeing in advance that & ### She is already strong and she can stay happy.
The video shows people who visit their different solo rooms and mourn their break and revel in their lonely time. By the time everything is fine on the bed, the current of the hotel is cut off, and everyone settles in the lobby for an impromptu party for many. The whole cycle consists of having fun alone (or loving each other) and having fun with others in less than five minutes. Could these strangers have entered the hall and celebrated together if they had not already had their solo parties? It is unlikely that the Jepsen anthem will dissociate.
Most breaking songs dissemble an ex in some way. So, if you preach self-esteem, how do you do it without harming anyone else in the process? Great does it out of gratitude. And Justin Bieber does it by singing an ex who is not even his. Her hit of 2015, "Love Yourself," talks about the former Ed Sheeran. Sheeran says that he gave the song to Bieber because Sheeran found "too personal" and "hard" to sing about his former lover. Even though the song has an optimistic message, it basically tells an ex that she has a problem with self-esteem. Positive message but a little crazy.
Yes, some self-love hymns go so far as to proclaim "I love you", as Hailee Steinfeld does in her book "Love Myself" of 2015. In the video, Steinfeld also describes the Self-love as a tangible and visible thing. As she dances against a mirror, her image becomes two, which visually shows that an internal relationship is as important and real as the external relationships that we have.
Even though Steinfeld exudes confidence, saying that she "will love myself, no, I do not need anyone else," she admits that she continues to learn to live those words. In an interview with Noisey, she said, "It's really amazing to see boys and girls, men and women, people of all ages, somehow sharing the way it affected them. A couple of girls came to me and said, "Thank you for this song that teaches me to love myself." I am most able to convey this message while I am still learning it. crazy thing. "
When does all this self-esteem turn to narcissism? Meghan Trainor seems to cross this line in her song "I Love Me" of 2016, which repeats so often the title line that she is vain. "I do not want to brag, I do not want to brag / I love everyone, but I love me the most." Trainor recorded the song with LunchMoney Lewis, so at least she's not the only one on the track singing how much she loves herself. But the song could have used a consultation of Carly Simon – or Ariana Grande.
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