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Craig Franklin was informed by his doctor that he had no sperm
There is an urgent need to combat the decline in male fertility and to expect female partners to make costly and invasive IVF treatments to try to overcome the lack of sperm quality. For men, telling yourself infertile can be an overwhelming and lonely experience.
Male infertility is now the most common reason why British couples seek IVF – but when Craig Franklin was frankly told he had no sperm, he felt lonely and emasculated.
"The general practitioner basically said," You do not produce sperm, you will not be able to have children. Through the door, you leave, "explains the 39-year-old.
"There was no support whatsoever."
The effects hit him hard and almost drove him to break with his partner Katie.
"I've been very angry for a long time, I've gone crazy with money," he tells the BBC's Victoria Derbyshire program.
"My work performance has deteriorated dramatically to the point where I lost my job at the end of last year."
"It broke my heart, I saw a man break down, basically," Katie said. "He did not feel like a man, and it's so unfair."
Prof Sheena Lewis is one of the UK's leading fertility experts
Professor Sheena Lewis, a prominent fertility expert, president of the British Andrology Society that aims to improve reproductive health care among men, says that the lack of attention to the health care of men is a major concern. Male infertility in the health system is an "urgent" problem.
"Men are not cared for properly, are not diagnosed and are not cared for," she says.
The quality of male sperm in the western world is declining, but little is known about how to improve it – and there are few treatments available in the NHS.
This led to an "absurd" case, says Professor Lewis, where women must regularly undergo IVF – even if their fertility is no problem.
"The woman actually acts as the therapy for the human problem [of poor sperm]," she says.
"We give an invasive procedure to a person who does not need it, in order to treat another person.This does not happen in any other branch of medicine."
Professor Lewis adds that it is also a "huge expense for the NHS", at a time when IVF is rationed in many parts of the country.
Damage to DNA
A couple, who spoke anonymously to the Victoria Derbyshire program, may never have had her son if he had not explored other options in private.
On the NHS, they received a series of IVF – although the female partner has good fertility – but this failed because of the bad sperm of the man.
"It was really unpleasant. Getting injected needles that are not going the first time is not a walk in the park, "she says.
Instead, the man sought help from a private clinic and underwent an operation – less expensive than an IVF cycle – to treat varicocele, a scrotal abnormality that affects up to 40% of men. men with fertility problems. His wife conceived naturally.
For Stephen Harbottle, a clinical clinical consultant who helped develop fertility guidelines for the NICE watchdog, while varicocele treatment will not work for everyone, the NHS needs to ensure that other options are considered.
This includes simple solutions such as dietary supplements or tests to check for damage to the sperm DNA.
The reason this is not happening now, he says, is that "doctors have no choice but to refer patients to IVF."
"Men, in some ways, just go through the system," he adds.
Mark and Suzanne Harper have two children via a donor's sperm
Some men with fertility problems also report being sidelined by general practitioners, who they say focus on women.
Mark Harper – of Ilkeston in Derbyshire – has two children through the sperm of a donor.
But when he was originally discovered that he had no sperm, it was his wife whom the doctor called with the news rather than him.
"If you talk to a man about his problems with infertility, you should talk to the male," he says.
"I'm here, I'm a person, I was the one sitting in front of you and I'm the one to talk to."
The Royal College of General Practitioners said in a statement that its members were "highly qualified to have sensitive and non-judgmental conversations with all of our patients … including why anyone might have fertility problems and the best options for them ".
Biological clock for men
Prof. Sheena Lewis says that the lack of attention to male fertility also means that men are not educated about their reproductive health, and may mistakenly take it for granted.
"Men have a biological clock, and over time, because of their lifestyle, sperm have more and more opportunities to undergo mutations.
"Men over 45 when they have children are more likely to have children who will have childhood cancers or psychiatric disorders such as bipolar disorder or autism," she adds. for young men with poor sperm quality.
Katie and Craig say that it took them a year and a half to agree to not being able to have children without a sperm donor
Katie and Craig say the doctors assumed that the reason they were not able to conceive was because of Katie – and she was tested before Craig's fertility was considered.
The couple is now looking for donor sperm in private, after being denied IVF on the NHS.
The stigma surrounding male infertility means that it's the first time Craig speaks openly about the problem – until now, even his friends did not know it.
"It's not a virile thing to discuss," he says. "It's packed … and not talked about."
The couple said it took them a year and a half to agree to not being able to have children without a sperm donor – compounded by the fact that emotional support was never offered to them.
But now they are going through.
"We are stronger than ever," says Katie.
"But other couples might not be as strong as us.They might not be able to overcome that and I can see why – it's so hard for the man to be able to agree to not being able to give a child to his wife. "
Watch the BBC's Victoria Derbyshire program on weekdays between 9:00 am and 11:00 am PST on BBC Two and the BBC news channel in the UK and on iPlayer after.
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