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Every Thursday, Kevin Cusick makes his predictions against the latest Las Vegas point spread, the way God intended …
Dolphins at Packers (-9):
Green Bay running back Aaron Jones admitted that his fourth-quarter fumble was the critical mistake in the Packers’ Sunday night loss in New England. That play greatly increases the chances that, by week’s end, the Packers will trade Jones’ butt to Baltimore.
Pick Packers by 7
Panthers at Steelers (-4):
Pittsburgh running back Le’Veon Bell, trolling his team on Twitter two months into his holdout, posted a “Fairwell Miami” message on Monday. It’s a clear sign that the rust you’d expect after 10 months away from the field has extended to his spelling skills.
Pick: Panthers by 3
Lions at Bears (-6½):
Detroit quarterback Matthew Stafford was bruised and battered after being sacked 10 times by the Vikings last Sunday in Minneapolis. Usually, in order to get roughed up that badly, one would have to walk alone at night in the streets of Detroit.
Pick: Bears by 3
Saints at Bengals (+4½):
New Orleans’ Michael Thomas celebrated his latest touchdown by pulling a hidden flip phone from under the goalpost, mimicking Joe Horn’s famous stunt from 2003. It’s believed to be the first time in over a decade that anyone has given any thought to Joe Horn.
Pick: Saints by 7
Falcons at Browns (+4):
Former Cardinals coach Bruce Arians says he would consider coming out of retirement but that “Cleveland is the only job I would consider.” It’s the first indication that Arians has had any desire to manage the Indians.
Pick: Falcons by 9
Bills at Jets (-7½):
New York rookie quarterback Sam Darnold, after throwing four interceptions last week in Miami, admitted that he played “stupid football.” Meanwhile in Buffalo last week, last-string QB Nathan Peterman mostly played catch with the Bears’ defense.
Pick: Jets by 10
Patriots at Titans (+7):
Former Vikings wideout Cordarrelle Patterson has emerged as a new running threat for New England, breaking off several big runs in their victory over Green Bay. It’s yet another sign that Bill Belichick can turn anybody into a star.
Pick: Patriots by 10
Chargers at Raiders (+9½):
The Chargers cut struggling kicker Caleb Sturgis after he missed two extra points and a field goal in last Sunday’s victory in Seattle. The move was demanded by the team’s Los Angeles fans after all six of them met in a minivan after the game.
Pick: Chargers by 13
Cardinals at Chiefs (-16½):
This matchup of AFC power and NFC sludge has the second-biggest pointspread of this NFL season, behind only the Week 2 Bills-Vikings matchup. We point this out because most of you Vikings fans have conveniently forgotten that debacle.
Pick: Chiefs by 20
Giants at 49ers (-3):
Third-stringer Nick Mullens had one of the greatest quarterbacking debuts in NFL history last week, throwing for 262 yards and three touchdowns. It just goes to show what the human spirit can accomplish … when playing the godawful Oakland Raiders.
Pick: Giants by 3
OTHER GAMES
Redskins at Buccaneers (-2½):
Pick: Redskins by 3
Seahawks at Rams (-10):
Pick: Rams by 7
Cowboys at Eagles (-6):
Pick: Eagles by 7
Jaguars at Colts (-3):
Pick: Jaguars by 3
BYES
Vikings, Ravens, Broncos, Texans
RECORD
Week 9
Straight up 11-2; vs. spread 10-3
Season
Straight up 83-49-2 (.629); vs. spread 59-71-4 (.454)
All-time (2003-18)
Straight up 2659-1473-8 (.644); vs. spread 2024-1991-124 (.504)
COMING THIS WEEKEND
The Loop Fantasy Football Report for Week 10, online and in Sunday’s paper
You can hear Kevin Cusick on Wednesdays on Bob Sansevere’s “BS Show” podcast on iTunes. You can follow Kevin on Twitter — @theloopnow.
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