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During a recent visit to their eponymous county, the Duke of Sussex spotted a Butlin seaside resort on the Bognor Regis skyline and rashly suggested he take his wife there.
It may be unlikely that the couple pack their bags with a monogram and go to a holiday camp, but the image of graying cottages and forced entertainment that lingers in the collective memory of the nation no longer rings just.
A British institution for more than 80 years, Butlin's undergone some sort of redesign and subsequent revitalization, though the majority (68%) of recent Trustpilot reviews are negative, with reviews ranging from "absolutely horrible, exhausted and disgusting" "and" fabulous ". vacation and great staff ".
So, if Meghan and Harry surprise us all and get closer to those of Butlin, what can their Royal Hi-di-Highnesses expect?
The music
From Redcoats singing cabaret hits and exhausted boybands on their farewell tour to true icons such as Nick Cave and Iggy Pop, music has always been part of Butlin's experience.
This is also one of the main attractions for people who visit the resorts. The event this weekend at the Bognor Regis, Minehead and Skegness stations presents Altered Images, Paul Young and Musical Youth and is complete.
As mentioned by a speaker who participated in a previous "Great weekend of the 80s": "It's a long holiday, if you do not like to drink, dance and disguise, it's not for you .
"Huge groups of deer and chickens accompanied by birthday party groups with explosive dolls were everywhere." The age group ranged from 18 to 60 years old and everyone seemed happy and made part of the spirit of celebration. "
There are also events with a more relaxed vibe, such as the Great British Folk Festival, and as one of the musical highlights of the Meghan and Harry concert was an interpretation of Stand By Me, perhaps the couple would prefer he attend a "Legends of Soul" weekend where they could enjoy acts including tributes to Marvin Gaye, Aretha Franklin and Gladys Knight – as well as Billy Ocean's real life and council presidents. 39; administration.
Beauty
The beauty competitions at Butlin have been phased out, so there is no reason for men, like sylphs, to be afraid of being shamed on their ball-knees.
And women are no longer invited to participate in competitions in which female candidates must wear masks to ensure they are "judged only on their numbers", as if it were a good thing ( see picture below).
Instead, couples may want to visit one of the spas to enjoy a moment of relaxation.
As the resort's advertisement says: "Why not escape our Ocean Spa at the Ocean Hotel, Bognor Regis.You will feel rejuvenated, refreshed and revitalized", and probably other things starting with " r ".
For kids
The children who visited Butlin were kept in a special "pen" and had their meals in high chairs separated from their parents. They were looked after in a nursery and did not often mix with the older members of their family.
Nowadays, however, the emphasis is more on the happiness of parents, ensuring that children are happy.
Special events are organized for Halloween and Christmas, as well as breaks for preschoolers. Teletubbies appear and a bear reads a story at bedtime.
Among the disadvantages, there are no more services such as the notice of child care informing parents of screaming babies in remote cottages.
Famous guests … and staff
If the Duke and Duchess do not show up for their vacations, the staff (the "Team Members") will have to be satisfied, knowing that there is no shortage of famous faces over the years.
Formula 1 champions Graham Hill and Jim Clark took the lead in the 1960s, while O Connor, Cliff Richard, Dave Allen, Ted Rogers, Hull Rod, Terry Scott, Darren Day and Stephen Mulhern were all Redcoats who made the difference (or biggish).
So who knows what stars of the future could be seen entertaining children?
sport
Sport at Butlin was traditionally synonymous with "piggyback racing" and "sociable cycling" – two-seater machines that can be pedaled along the waterfront at a speed not exceeding five km / h.
But young people arriving today should not be content with such quiet activities: they can (for a fee) be drawn into football, fencing and archery. .
The whole family can play billiards (or swim in a pool) and at Skegness Camp, adults can (also for a fee) go to the gym.
Accommodation
Accommodation in the camps has changed – there are no longer rows of wooden cottages equipped with rickety camp beds, nor guests in resort hotels, apartments, cabins or cottages. rooms at the edge of the water.
There are however limitations.
Unless you have to pay for superior accommodation, guests should always bring their own towels or rent them at the rental store.
Guests in economy rooms who wish to have access to a toaster, hair dryer, microwave or fridge should also rent them for £ 2-5 per day.
They will, however, have hot and cold running water – unlike the time when vacationers were forced to line up in front of their dressing gown tap – and where a television was provided, thus eliminating the need for earlier to go to the "televised theater". ", where guests had to choose between the BBC lounge and ITV.
Romance Flights
Harry and Meghan like to snuggle on marble steps, but they are not the first to make the most of a staircase. In 1957, 49 newlywed couples traveled to Butlin & # 39; s in Brighton to celebrate their wedding.
Nicknamed the "budget drummers", they all rushed into the aisle the week before the end of the British financial year, thus qualifying for exemption from tax on the income granted by marital status throughout the year.
Stairs are also available at Butlin's.
Who said romance was dead?
Food
Although guests are no longer obliged to dine in a classroom reminiscent of a school canteen, they must wear bracelets so that staff know that they have the right to attend and that everyone should have chosen their own. meal plan and pay it before his arrival.
Although Butlin's does not serve the great royal favorites such as the roasted swan and the peacock in aspic, the Duke and Duchess – and all others – can enjoy the affair of ice-cream or roast daily with "all accompaniments".
The brochure also promises guests "can even have a fish dinner with a cup of tea".
What more could a royal couple hope for?
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