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My wife, Priya [Ramani], is one of 14 women journalists who named Union Minister MJ Akbar for a series of inappropriate workplace behaviors.
I know her close shave with predation since I know her, about 20 years old. Although Akbar did not, in his words – which he now gratefully quotes – "does" something, there are others who have apparently suffered more and whose experiences are now public. No one ever denounced powerful men because misuse of power and authority was considered normal. There was no redress mechanism in media companies, no one took these complaints seriously, and the only ones who risked losing to powerful men were women.
When younger women than she began to share trauma and experiences far worse than hers and as the media world has more and more references to "the elephant in the room," a Man more powerful than others like him, my wife decided that she could no longer remain silent. She has always had a keen sense of right and wrong, in black and white, and she has never lacked courage. That's one of the reasons I married him.
Yet it took a particular courage to appoint a powerful minister and a former editor.
Yet it took a particular courage to appoint a powerful minister and a former editor. We lead a discreet and discreet life away from the center of Indian power. Even if she did not consider her action to be a minister's responsibility, she was a little aware that anyone who would set the ball in motion could become a target. That's what happened Our quiet life was torn apart. His phone rings constantly. Mine too. Most are reporters looking for comments or TV shows – which she has always refused – other women who have caught Akbar's attention. Those who can not reach her try to call me. I had the habit of answering unknown numbers; from today, I will not do it.
Akbar filed a criminal libel suit against my wife. Whether she likes it or not, she has become a lightning rod. Her intention is clear: to intimidate her and, through her, to intimidate others who have spoken and to silence those who have not yet done so. Criminal defamation, a strong protection offered by law, can sometimes be used as a means of intimidation.
A criminal defamation notice in response to multiple allegations of sexual harassment may also be perceived as a strong sign of Delhi's political class that women should be informed of their limits and what better way to do that than to blame them. to a single woman. This is not Akbar vs Ramani, it is the Union of India vs Ramani. He has access to a battery of powerful lawyers: there are 97 in the legal opinion. She has until now one.
Male impunity
As indicated by the provocative and threatening reaction, the culture of sexual harassment and male impunity is so entrenched, omniscient and standardized in our professional lives that the elected government of he can ignore or mock the stories of many women and stand aside. lie. And note that the opposition parties have shown no support, as they are all complicit in maintaining the status quo. According to one estimate, over 70% of sexual harassment cases in India are never reported.
The Indian Patriarchate understands what is at stake and will not give in without a fierce fight. If an Akbar is conceded, there are countless other people whose career will be threatened. Sexual misconduct in India has so far been seen as part of life – to endure and in doing so, to confirm the supremacy of man because, of course, men must be men and a woman must know his place. The feeling of male superiority is so instilled that millions of women are willing accomplices. From their childhood, Indian girls are discriminated against and told by their mothers that they are inferior to men.
Education seems to moderate this conviction only slightly.
Indian culture is so toxic that 52% of Indian women surveyed in the National Family Health Surveys conducted by the government – the latest published in January 2018 – stated that it was acceptable that A man beats his wife (42% more than men). believing that beating his wife was acceptable). Education seems to moderate this conviction only slightly. As more and more women flood the workplace, society is undergoing massive reconstruction, but the problem is that Indians in general, and Indian men in particular, are still not rebuilt.
That's why, over the years, sexually harassed women felt that what was happening was not right. But, they believed, they would make fun of them if they complained; that no one would believe them; that they risk losing their job; that nothing would happen anyway; and that their best bet was to go about it and accept it, because it's like that.
The #MeToo movement has shown that sexual harassment or bullying is not normal and that no woman should have to bear it. There must be consequences, and what we are seeing now, in some cases, are the first results of this new achievement. To ward off these consequences, powerful men representing powerful institutions will deploy their most powerful weapon: intimidation, like the one my wife is currently experiencing.
The truth
This type of bullying presents big benefits for a little effort. For example, we do not have institutional support to fight against Akbar's case. We do not have friends in the powerful circles of politicians, bureaucrats and lawyers in Delhi. We know that he has vast resources to deploy; it surprised us to see how quickly he could get our home address, which is now available to anyone looking for it.
But we have an important weapon: the truth. We also believe in standing up for what is right and just and not giving in to power. As more and more women fight for the right to a workplace free from sexual intimidation, more women will have to speak up and defend their rights. This case is detrimental to this ability.
But the normality of unrebuilt men will not come back.
Men can not really know what it means to fight Indian women. There are men who think that it is time to go beyond the stage of expressing solidarity and support, but they will always struggle to pass from spectators to participants. There are men who the women directed against Akbar asked for help, men who witnessed his behavior closely, but none of these men spoke out. The same is true in other industries, such as Bollywood, where men stay in their dark and closed world, hoping the situation will return to normal.
But the normality of unrebuilt men will not come back. Indian women will make sure this is not the case. It is incumbent upon men to move away from the sideline and engage wholeheartedly in the struggle. If they can not, they should withdraw and leave it to women.
I did not know how to react when my wife named Akbar for the first time. I admired his courage, of course, but I realized that sooner or later I would have to become a participant if the revolution were to be completed. But I feared the costs. I feared the end of our quiet little life and our existence without controversy. I feared – and still feared – the effects that such a battle could have on our little family. I was afraid of having to go out and step up. This fear must now end.
This article was first published on Scroll.in. Your comments are welcome at [email protected].
