Yes, sex after menopause is not the same

For many women, sex after menopause is no longer as satisfying as before, but is menopause the only one to blame?

New research suggests that The hormonal changes that occur during menopause are just one of the reasons why women's sex lives decline with age.. It is true that many people experience certain symptoms after menopause, including vaginal dryness, painful intercourse and loss of libido. All this can affect the frequency and pleasure of intercourse.

However, a new study shows that The reasons why many women stop wanting, enjoying and having sex are much more complex. Although women are traditionally held responsible for sexual decline in a relationship, research shows that a partner's health is often what determines whether she remains sexually active and continues to be satisfied with her sex life. Most studies have been entirely devoted to heterosexual women. So we know less about what happens to same-sex couples after menopause.

"We know that menopause seems to have a negative effect on libido, vaginal dryness and pain during intercourse," said Stephanie Faubion, director of the Women's Health Center at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota . "But what the results consistently indicate is that The couple has remarkable relevance. It's not only about the couple's availability, but also about their physical health".

The most recent study, published in the medical journal Menopause, is based on the survey of more than 24,000 women who participated in an ovarian cancer screening study in the UK. Women aged 50 to 74 responded to the multiple choice health questionnaire on their sex life at the beginning of the study. However, the survey data is unique, as about 4,500 women also left written comments, which provided researchers with valuable material that can better inform women's sexual lives.

Overall, 78% of women surveyed reported having an intimate partner, but less than half (49.2%) of women reported having an active sex life. Women's written responses to why they stopped having sex revealed the pain and sadness behind these percentages.

The main reason was the loss of the couple due to death or divorce, a reason mentioned by 37% of women. Those who did not have sex gave several reasons for this decline, so that the percentages exceed 100%.

-I have been widowed for 17 years. My husband was my love of youth, there will never be anyone else. (Age: 72 years old)

Some women claimed that life was too complicated to have time for sex; Eight percent said their partner was too tired to have sex and nine percent of the women said that they were too.

-I feel that my current goal in life is to raise my 12 year old son; Relationships are in second place. (Age: 50 years old)

– Guard of my parents right now. The lack of energy and worry for them causes a reduction in my sexual activity. (Age: 53 years old)

-My husband is busy at work. I am busy with two children. We both collapsed in bed at the end of the day. (Age: 50 years old)

A husband with serious health problems was another common problem. About one in four women (23%) said the lack of sexuality was due to their partner's health problems and 11% of them attributed their own health problems.

-It does not support erection with the rigidity necessary for penetration (after prostate surgery and diabetes). My sexual activity is limited by my husband's health. (Age 59 years).

-My husband had a stroke that left him paralyzed. Sex is very difficult. I continue with him as a guardian and companion. (Age: 52 years old)

-My husband had a heart attack … his medical treatment has side effects, making sex difficult, which afflicts us. (Age: 62 years old)

Other women cited addiction and mental health problems as the reason for his lack of sex.

Drink about one or a half bottles of whiskey a day. We do love once or twice a year. (Age: 56 years old)

-My husband suffers from anxiety and depression and this affects our relationship and my dream. (Age: 53 years old)

-I take an antidepressant and that decreases the desire. (Age 59 years).

About 30% of women reported that their sex life had stopped because of their "lack of interest".

-I have lost interest and I feel guilty, which allows me to avoid any mention of the subject. (Age: 53 years old)

-Many menopausal symptoms have affected my sexual desire and this seems disappointing because I would like to feel the same desire that I had a few years ago. (Age: 58 years old).

-I find it uncomfortable and sometimes painful. I use vaginal lubricants, but they do not help me much, so I have not had sex in the last few months. (Age: 54 years old)

-I love my partner very much; This problem concerns me. However, if I did not have a partner (having sex), I would not miss it … It's very difficult to want something you do not want. I am sad when I remember what we were before. He is very understanding. (Age: 54 years old)

21% of women reported that their partner they had lost interest in sex.

Maybe alone (we have sex) twice a year. My partner has lost his libido and never thinks of it, even if he likes me and worries me. (Age: 60 years old)

Although most of the written comments dealt with sexual problems, some women left more messages full of hope.

Since I've had a new partner for a year, I realize that my sex life has never been better and that it is actually very common. This is largely the reason for my happiness, my joy and my well-being. (Age: 59 years).

[El sexo ocurre] less often than when we were younger. We are both tired, but when we do, it's fine. (Age: 64 years old)

The information and comments were analyzed by Helena Harder, a researcher at the Brighton and Sussex School of Medicine, and her colleagues. Harder said the reviews show that doctors need to talk more often with women about their sexual problems.

"The women say they regret that things have changed, they would like it to be different," said Harder. "But, in general, the problem does not arise in conversations.Patients need to feel that it's okay to talk about sex and ask questions.If you do, it could be a big step forward." towards change. "

Faubion, who is also medical director of the American Menopause Society, notes that there are treatments to help women with vaginal dryness and pain during intercourse. In addition, two libido drugs that increase desire in women have been approved. One is a pill and the other is an injectable solution that will go on sale this fall; However, both drugs have disadvantages, especially in terms of cost, limit of use and side effects, so that they are not a good option for all women, a- he declared.

A better option might be to educate women and couples. Sexual therapy can help women cope with anxiety problems and low sexual desire. A therapist can teach women that even though spontaneous sexual desire may decrease, they can plan their sexual encounters and this desire often comes back once the woman is involved in intimacy.

Nan Dill, a 53-year-old woman from Cincinnati and mother of three – aged 15, 18 and 21 – said it was only when her doctor asked her about her sex life that She had realized how hot flushes of lack of desire related to menopause had had a negative impact on their sex life. "I thought," Life is full of occupations. That's what's happening, "he said.

Dill began using an estrogen patch against hot flashes and an estrogen-free treatment for vaginal dryness. Knowing that changes in sexual desire are normal, she and her husband understood that they were just entering a new chapter of their relationship..

"When you have the right information, it helps you understand the change, not only in your body but also in your bedroom," he said. "You are learning that sex may be different, but that it will stay good and continue to work for both."

Copyright 2019 New York Times News Service