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July 6, 2018 – 10:45 am
The more ways there are to be involved in other people's lives through social networks, the longer the connection wires should be broken at the end of one's life. relationship
Una ] break in love can be an incredibly difficult transition period in the life of the human being. In the past, a relationship usually ended when couples moved away, completely quit their lives and had little or no contact. Unless they agreed to stay in touch as friends, there was a clear before and after at this point in their life
Gather gifts, letters and souvenirs in a box to bury them or burn them not enough anymore. With the advent of social networks, dealing with breaks can be much more complicated. It is not enough to physically break with one person, but one must also move away from the virtual presence of the other person.
Social networks can sometimes prolong the suffering of a breakup and make healing and progression more difficult. The more ways there are to be involved in the lives of others through them, the more the number of links must break at the end of a relationship.
"Many difficulties in dealing with the break-up of a relationship are no longer duplicative in this new scenario called social networks. This new phenomenon under construction takes codes and establishes relational customs and proposes at the same time new conditions in the links ", warned Diego Luparello, psychoanalyst and former president of the faculty of analysts in training. APA
and social networks, getting rid of reminders of a previous couple can be complicated
Networks and applications are ways that help many people to know and interact, but nevertheless they do not are not good allies for breaks. "Just as at the beginning of the relationship, prolonging the virtual contact exacerbates illusions, distorting the image of the other to suit the desire, in the post -crisis, the separation must be strong and consistent with the decision taken. "Walter Ghedin, psychiatrist and sexologist
For the expert, the presence of technology in the rupture of relations potentiates the traits of dependence. If autonomy is a valuable asset during the link, when the relationship ends, the almost compelling need to know the other appears, whether to follow their publications on the networks or to maintain contact through them.
A perfect way to deal with a breakup, there are certain actions that can make a big difference, whether positively or negatively. If the relationship is over, the ease of communication only prolongs frustration and pain.
Some suggestions to keep in mind when a couple separates into the real world but remains united in the virtual world:
Anguish governs, the need to be aware of every step that the other gives can be incredibly strong. Why fight against desire and stay away from the profiles is key
Block, yes or no? How to avoid falling into cyber surveillance
The odds of being curious about what you are doing and with whom an ex-partner is doing it after a breakup are very high. When this happens, clicking on a profile seems to be the fastest and most effective answer. However, staying obsessively involved in the affairs of others will make progress more difficult and recovery will take longer.
For some, "stop following" on social media, even though it may seem difficult, leads to better long-term decision-making because it will help resist the temptation to monitor cybernetics. If a couple also has too many friends in common, it can be helpful to disengage for a while.
If the stress is excessive, especially in places where one can go unnoticed, the temptation to review images, publications and status updates to try to follow the movements of the company. another person may prevent the search for answers to questions that they do not actually have.
However, how to address links with the social networks depend to a large extent on the end of the relationship. For example, if it was a disordered separation caused by infidelity or violence, it is wise to block and quickly eliminate all platforms. This of course differs for the ex who is friendly and chooses to stay friends.
Although it is natural to be curious to know what an ex fact does, this type of behavior is neither healthy nor rational
Be honest with The Self in this circumstance is crucial. Opting for the "stop following" is only useful if you decide not to waste your time looking for the profiles and photos of an ex on vacation or check your "last seen" of the day. WhatsApp messaging application at peak times. Early morning
On some platforms, blocking can often be the only way to "log out" and not see messages or updates from an ex. "Even in cases where the crisis has been traumatic, block or stop following the other requires a firm stance that denotes healthy features against dependent malevolence," said Ghedin.
According to the expert, there are also those who need to confirm disloyalty through networks or applications, as well as those who want to follow the path of an ex to confirm the indolence or the absence of feelings of grief.
Using social networks as a means of revenge in an attempt to attract attention or ignite the jealousy of an ex-partner only works as a tool to hurt someone's feelings. one, does not help overcome or promote their own well-being.
Do not turn a past and finished relationship into a public soap opera both For this, difficult conversations should be handled face-to-face and privately, if possible. If both people believe that there are things that they still have to solve, even if it is painful and difficult, arranging to meet them in person will solve it.
Although surfing social networks after a breakup is a daunting task, apps have also found ways to help mitigate the digital broken heart. For memory writers, there is Killswitch, an application that removes all tagged photos, videos, and posts shared between a couple and hides them in a secret folder.
"Stop following and leaving groups together to deal with feelings of loss"
What about the family?
After a break, it is likely that the moment of contact with ex family members decreases a bit, regardless of how close the relationship was. The dynamics will have changed and the priorities too.
Letting yourself be part of a family group can be painful. As in any crisis, there is a time of anguish, mourning for "what was not," anger, reproach and blame for the attitudes of the other. "For this reason, blocking, stopping following, leaving groups together, are actions that help deal with feelings of loss," said Ghedin.
Avoid networks, not emotions. How to get away and keep the distance
To start creating a "new normal" that is not defined by the past relationship, most benefit greatly from keeping the distance , even in social networks. While waiting for someone to delete all his accounts after a break is unrealistic, experts suggest that instead of doing it completely, they are limited to the sites that they use for a while.
that we choose to connect in social networks become a permanent part of the social environment, and this, in general, includes romantic partners and future relationships
However, avoid social networks for a long time. some time it means avoiding feelings. Recognizing emotions, staying in touch with people that we consider as support is important in order to limit contact for each individual.
When a strong emotional attachment or reactions to a former partner disappear, for example, then we can say that he is willing to have greater interaction with social networks
For those who choose to maintain digital links, another riddle arises: is it inappropriate to make public comments or to give too much "I like"? The best thing is not to act too fast.
So, if a large part of a relationship has been formed online, if they have friends in common and the environment keeps them in touch, it will probably be difficult to Away from the couple. Perhaps, then, the breakthrough is presented as the perfect opportunity to get away from the "world of the web" for at least a few days, enough time to break the bad habit of cyber-vigilance, and in turn benefit the search for other interests. hurts and reconnects with the usual people.
Agencies
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