Welcome, Viennetta



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For me, a 90s kid with a passion for the kind of elegance a Ferrero Rocher conveys, the ad you see above for Viennetta, a decadent one percent ice cream, gets a very strong and positive response. . Imagine my absolute pleasure to hear that Miss Viennetta is returning. Finally, some good news.

Eater reports that Good Humor, the company that made this delectable deluxe treat, is pulling the old maid out of retirement for 2021, even though I’m not sure why? Maybe there are pockets of America and beyond clamoring for the understated opulence of this puffy ice cream cake, but I can’t imagine the request was vocal or sustained. Still, the good news is that anyone who wants to live a life lived as the heroine of a romance novel will be able to do so when Viennetta returns to the freezer section of your local A&P.

A cake that completely drowns in furbelows is the kind of cake I want to eat on my own, thank you, but a Viennetta is made to be shared. Technically, you could eat a Viennetta on its own, in a matter of days, but you won’t have the pleasure of recreating its iconic ads, which feature well-groomed hands begging for more ice cream, please and thank you!

There is an iconic scene in Ramona and her mother, where Ramona squeezes an entire tube of toothpaste into the bathroom sink in an attempt to get her mother’s attention. The ruffles of this big ass Vianetta look like I imagined this toothpaste cake – extruded like a machine, but also tasteful and elegant. It is unfortunate, however, that cut crystal of the type seen in Vianetta’s commercials was considered the pinnacle of luxury in the mid-90s, as the second thing I thought of upon hearing this news is cat food.

This crushed-faced little darling is eating a real bunch of Fancy Feast from the same dessert glasses I’ll use to serve the Viennetta to my guests as soon as we all have the little jab in our arms and are able to inspire safely and around each other without fear of illness! Until then, I’ll be trawling eBay for the crystal tableware and practicing my hostess skills for the cat, the money tree in the living room, and a pillow dressed in an old sweatshirt. It’s going to be a very long winter and I have to prepare myself that way. Dinner – then dessert! – is served.

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