Why the "Dance Moms" star, Abby Lee Miller, struggling with the doctors' orders in a battle with cancer

Unprecedented moments of Miller's Journey to Hospital Recovery were broadcast during the Lifetime movie Dance Moms: The Return of Abby Special Tuesday, including the moment when the dance icon decided to go against the orders of the doctors and refuse further treatment.

"I do not put more poison in my body," she said to her friend, exasperated by her refusal. Explaining that her doctors were concerned about "small cells," she insisted, "I do not need poison in my brain anymore. "

"Are you ready to take the risk that it will come back if you do not do these three other sessions?" Asked her friend, to which she replied after a moment, "Yes, yes."

"Why?" he asked, which Miller answered with assurance: "Because dying is easier than that."

"I do not want to be in the hospital, I want to go out and live," she proclaimed. "And if I just have a lot of time to live, I want to live it, I want to walk and I want to become strong."

While his friends and family begged for more chemotherapy, Miller remained resolute.

"Hear that these doctors want me to do more chemotherapy? It's devastating, "she told the camera. I thought the cancer would be gone and I would be ready to move on. I've been so depressed and so unhappy for so long, and now I feel better because I'm back to do what I like to do. "

"I do not listen to anyone about how to live my life," Miller continued. "It's my decision, and if I can not do the things I love that make me happy, then it's not living."

In the end, Miller decided to finish her chemotherapy after all, after a year of treatment, she learned that she was officially without cancer.

"I'm proud and grateful to have survived this year," she said at the end of her cancer journey, "but I'm ready to move on, to go back to the studio, do what I love to do and share my passion for dancing with young children. "

Dance moms Tuesdays at 9pm ET on life.

Photo credit: For life