This is perhaps my favorite episode of Raw that I will never remember to watch.
Who are you supposed to look for, people? Brock Lesnar has his belt and he goes somewhere in the wild. Roman Reigns has leukemia. Seth Rollins is on an island in a quarrel in decline. So who is gone?
Elias? Oh, I'm sorry. Elias has been beaten in a 3-on-1 attack.
Finn Balor? Oh I am sorry. Balor was beaten in a 3-on-1 attack.
Sasha Banks? Ah, I still have to excuse myself. She's gone on a team fighting the same panicked people for six months. The same could be said for Bayley.
Ronda Rousey? Oh, you mean this lady who is rather nice but who continues to make up oddly and participate in segments where she looks horrible.
It only remains Braun Strowman, and god I hope you like fat guys. Otherwise, you're out of luck.
Everyone, I do not know what to say at this point. I think it will be a trend of this review. This show started with Elias, who was defeated by Baron Corbin, Bobby Lashley and Drew McIntyre, and ended with Finn Balor, who was defeated by Baron Corbin, Bobby Lashley and Drew McIntyre. And I just do not understand.
I guess the goal is to build that vague and immeasurable resource that we call "heat," but all you build is dislike for that shit. You build frustration. You build apathy.
I am so tired of encouraging boys and girls who do not want to do anything meaningful in the series. And I do not even know what to say.
Rollins is an open challenge
Do you know what's great with modern WWE? Even if the scenarios are mediocre, as long as you have an exciting champion capable of facing open challenges, it is easy enough to entertain an audience. All it takes is a surprise. So who would it be? After a break, who could challenge Seth Rollins' intercontinental championship? Would it be a beginner Lars Sullivan? Oooh! What about a return from Bray Wyatt ?!
… MDR drops. It's Dolph Ziggler.
Look, it's hard and I'm kidding. I think it's fair to point out how unusual this game is, but I want to highlight Dolph Ziggler as the best part of this show. Do you know why?
This is an extremely talented heel. He made a very good match with Seth Rollins and then did what the heels are supposed to do: he lost. Not that you know that by the state of Raw these days.
So shout at you, Ziggler. You are not what I was hoping for, but you crush it quietly and give everyone a rare reason to congratulate us. Glory.
Literally the worst segment
The Nia Jax vs. Ronda Rousey segment of this show was so bad that I had to put the show on hold and leave the room.
It was my breaking point with this show. I had enough of the fight for one night.
Like … how can I even describe that? Have you ever seen a comedian bombard his routine? Watching it would have been more fun than Nia Jax's promo. And the substance of it was good, I suppose. She basically argued that Ronda Rousey was facing tough times while Jax herself was on fire recently.
But who is concerned? She walked around the room and was jubilant about all this as the crowd was sitting in her turn. The only thing that got an answer, is when she screamed to hurt Becky Lynch. If all you have is really hurt another wrestler …
And then it's Rousey's turn, and his discussion segment was not much better. Her first lines did not seem to make sense, but fortunately she quickly regained her strength by firing and claiming a match from Jax.
And then, Jax said that she was looking to buy time when Tamina was in the ring with her all the time. And then Natalya looks as if Rousey could not fend for herself. And THEN, the Riott team launched Nattie so the crowd had nothing to look forward to.
Yes, so if the rest of this review is caustic, blame this segment.
Dean Ambrose gets vaccinated – This guy suddenly developed a germinal phobia. Apparently, he sees Rollins as a germ running too.
I do not even know what to say. I guess it's pretty fun? But like … I do not know man.
Lucha House Party def. The Renaissance – I do not even know how to explain that, let alone if I like it or not. The LHPs basically have their own match stipulations and beat the clock in the handicap matches. I guess the goal is to stick to the old-fashioned guys, but it's not very fun for me.
Drake Maverick pissed on Roode's dress – I really hate this show.
Ember Moon def. Alicia Fox Curt Hawkins was at the edge of the ring. And Moons and Hawkins danced with No Way Jose afterwards. Yeah.
Jinder Mahal def. Jose – lol
Alexa Bliss holds a questionnaire – I really, really hate this show. Essentially, Bliss tried to do what Corbin did by lining up friends, but the women's division does not have McIntyre or Lashley to help her.
This show was so bad that I think to hand my Cageside author badge.
I hope you enjoyed the criticism.
Two F Because that's it.