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Post-traumatic stress disorder is a mental health problem that can be triggered by the experience or testimony of something traumatic. Many people think that PTSD is a disorder that only veterans can treat, but it can also occur in response to other painful events, such as sexual abuse, physical aggression, childhood, or domestic violence. robbery, the sudden death of a loved one, a terrorist attack or a natural disaster.
According to the National Center for PTSD, an estimated 7% to 8% of the US population will have PTSD in their lifetime. Women are more likely to develop it than men.
The symptoms of PTSD can include vivid flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance of anything that reminds them of trauma, difficulty sleeping, irritability, astonishment, and feelings of 39; numbness. The symptoms should last for more than one month and be severe enough to disrupt the person's ability to function at work, in their relationships and in daily life.
Having a strong support system can help a person get through some of the most challenging periods of PTSD, but only if people with the disorder are able to communicate what they need from their loved ones.
"Like any illness, PTSD does not just affect me, it affects the people in my life who love and care about me," blogger Alexis Rose told HuffPost. "The dynamics of my family have definitely changed. Keeping the conversation open, getting help and having accessible information about PTSD can help solve the problems faced by families and friends when they are caring for a loved one suffering from post stress syndrome. -traumatic.
Below, people with the disorder share what they want their well-meaning friends and family to understand better about loving someone with PTSD.
1. Instead of always trying to "fix" us, we just want you to listen.
"Sometimes we do not want to receive advice. We do not need you to fix us and tell us what to do, or compare ourselves with others. We just need the people we love to stay, stay with us during the storm, listen to us and kiss each other. "- Nicole Figueroa
2. Please, do not tell us to "just overcome the problem".
"I think it's great if loved ones can do their best to find the balance between allowing someone with PTSD to overcome their symptoms and holding their hand to help them get up. I can understand that it is difficult to see someone you love to suffer, but to tell him to "put it back" or to make him ashamed of what he's living does only make the more difficult process for the person who has symptoms. Meet them where they are and say things like, "I've had you," "Let me help you breathe," or what resonates best for your loved one, helps facilitate most difficult moments. "- Susannah Pitman
3. Be patient with us – and yourself – when we experience it.
"Do not take it personally. If you are reading this, you probably have a big heart and you might feel frustrated when your love is not enough to "cure" someone's post-traumatic stress disorder. So, here are two things to remember: First, although many people can recover from PTSD, there is no "cure" because there is no way to know what could trigger an episode of PTSD at the time. the future. Second, it's not about you. So be patient with your beloved and with your own heart. "- Rita Zoey Chin, author of "Let The Tornado Come"
4. Cattend a therapy session with us to better understand what we are experiencing.
"I think it's extremely important to accompany your loved one to a therapy session so that the mental health professional can guide you through PTSD. My husband was now with me at one of my worst flashbacks. Although I explained to him in detail my symptoms of post-traumatic stress, as well as what tends to trigger me, he quarreled with me rather than acknowledge that I had a flashback. Its resistance greatly worsened the backfire and the anxiety that followed, and my symptoms lasted more than a week after.
Fortunately, he listened to me when my therapist suggested he come with me to my next session. The therapist was able to express what I could not understand in the same way as my husband. It was really helpful for both of us and since then, my husband has been supporting me, loves and understands whenever I feel symptoms. "- Pitman
5. When we have a bad day, know that it's not your fault.
"I wish they understood that when I struggle, it has nothing to do with them. For example, if I live something because of my PTSD, it's because of my PTSD, not them. I never want friends or family members to feel it's their fault when I have anxiety or other symptoms of PTSD. "- Kayla Stevenson
6. Try to understand our fears instead of writing them as "irrational".
"People with PTSD live a terror that can be debilitating. It is a terror that is often insensitive to logic, which means that trying to reason with people with PTSD is one of the fastest ways to alienate them. Instead of trying to dissuade them from fear, let them talk to you. To ask questions. Listen Tell them you understand. You do not have to understand the exact nature of their terror; you just have to understand that it's actually terror. "- Chin
7. Do not rush to overcome the trauma.
"I do not like being pushed to do what others might think about healing me. I do not like to be pushed out and to explore, to forget people and events that have happened here and there, to meet people, to date, etc. I take things at my own pace and at my own pace. "- Figueroa
8. Ask how you can help us feel safe.
"People with PTSD often do not feel safe. This is where you can tap into that big heart. Since you have now asked your loved ones about their fears, you have learned some things you can do to help them feel safe. For some people, it's a hug. For others, it's watching a funny movie. For others, it's a bowl of ice cream, an improvised dance party in the kitchen or a walk on a country road. Be that as it may, the goal is not to try to treat people with PTSD, but to let them know that you are next to them, wherever the road is. "- Chin
9. Know that we each have different ways to deal with the disease.
"We have our own coping mechanisms, and that varies depending on the personality of the person. As for me, I write. I have written a series to be able to express what we feel when we are suffering from depression, panic attacks and anxiety and PTSD. "- Figueroa
10. Do not forget to take care of yourself too.
"While I was dealing with my trauma and trying to cope with the persistent feelings, emotions and symptoms of PTSD, I felt uncomfortable. Before I learned the technique to tolerate my distress, I was upset, upset, hurt, and lived in a state of constant panic. I took everything my husband said personally and I blew things up. I lost my trust in the world, I felt raw and vulnerable, I worked hard to repel him. At the same time, I was terrified at the thought that he was abandoning me, needing constant assurance that he would go nowhere.
He was stunned and hurt and did not know how to stay close to me. He did not understand what was happening to me and I'm sure he felt helpless, not knowing how to improve things, fix them. He found a support group for relatives of PTSD and began therapy to learn how to take care of himself. It is extremely important that our caregivers get what they need for their own emotional and physical well-being. "- Pink
"Living with" is a guide for navigating conditions that affect your mind and body. Each month, HuffPost Life will tackle real problems by providing different stories, tips and ways to connect with others who understand what it is. In June, we cover trauma and PTSD. Do you have an experience to share? Email [email protected].
If you or someone around you needs help, call 1-800-273-8255 to get the national suicide prevention phone number. You can also send a text message HOME at 741-741 for free 24-hour support from the crisis text line. Outside the United States, please consult the International Suicide Prevention Association for a resource database.
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