15 unwritten rules for calls, texting and social media

Connecting with people has become so much easier with technological advances. Tasks that once required an operator, a postage stamp or a carrier pigeon are now as simple as typing a name or even a face on your screen and, voila, you are connected.

But also easier, it is involuntarily to be caught in a major break by violating a tangle of new rules of communication. A big problem for some: Do not call until you have sent an SMS to confirm that you can call. But it is only the beginning.

"I'm usually pretty cold and I do not really mind," said Mark Angiello, a 29-year-old office worker from White Plains, NY. But the only thing that runs through his skin, that he "hates more than anything else in life" is his horrible message in one word – "K."

"At the very least, answer by" You have it? " Said Angiello. "At least give me a few words here, you're not that busy."

Ramoan Bruce, a 29-year-old Bronx DJ, said his personal list of rules for digital interaction was long.

"Do not send me text messages saying," Hey, did you get my last text message? "You know I got it," Bruce said. "I'm a little upset when I send a text message to someone, then they answer by calling me, and I hate it when people are facing me because of nowhere, like, do not do that. . "

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of others who have used social media to express their hatred for people who do not respect the unwritten rules of digital communication.

Twitter user @Zelvel wrote: "This is an unspecified rule in SMS if you are not the last person to send a message before you fall asleep, you should be the first to send one in the morning."

"Does not everyone know the unspoken rule?" You must send at least three texts claiming to be friendly before you can ask for a favor. " wrote a Twitter user @Forace.

Twitter user @Kassmori writes: "Ok rule # 1 if I undress you on something, do not ask me why on something else, especially if I do not know you?"

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Other examples include not leaving a message after the beep, do not send too many texts in a row, and do not just start a conversation with "Hey". If you refuse incoming calls, just send a message to the caller "What's up?" so you too have adopted informal protocols.

Have you ever wondered where these seemingly innate subtleties of communication came from?

"These rules are simply a new manifestation of a phenomenon we've seen in the past," said James Ivory, a communications professor at Virginia Tech.

Ivory said that in the same way that generations and small groups of friends have their own slang and their customs, the Internet culture has given birth to technology-dependent beings who have their own set of matching rituals. .

So, everyone does not get the memo.

Unlike formal language, which can be taught with practice using an online subscription to Rosetta Stone, digital communication can come with cryptic clues that the person at the other end of the call, text or email, can understand or not understand easily.

"As soon as people do not talk face to face, the first thing that gets lost is some of the richness of nonverbal communication," Ivory said. "People immediately fill this gap by trying to approach it," either using emoji, adopting informal etiquette or sending gifs, those animated images that seem to sum up a feeling in seconds.

Elaine Swann, an expert in etiquette and lifestyle, said it was perfectly natural that social habits change as chat formats evolve.

"We used to take the phone and tell us happy birthday, happy new year and merry Christmas." Today, it is appropriate and in good shape to send them by text message, "said the founder. from a training institute to national etiquette. "We are evolving with our way of communicating using electronic devices, and the guidelines for etiquette also need to evolve."

Ivory said that the only way to adapt to the rules of techno-talk is to completely immerse oneself in the culture, but that there are disadvantages inherent in the excessive adoption of methods "chillaxed" communication

"The danger is great," said Ivory. "What is considered polite in one form may be inappropriate or rude in another scenario."

Nevertheless, some communication rules should stand the test of time, Swann said.

"If I'm calling you and you can not talk right now, please do not answer your phone, do not cut me off to tell me you're busy," said Swann. "First of all, it is impolite to answer your phone in the presence of the people you are with." Secondly, you are inconsiderate of my time. "

15 unwritten rules of communication in the digital age, according to people on Twitter

1. Do not randomly make FaceTime people. If you want to use Facetime, send them a text or call them first.
2. A word, like OK and LOL, kills the conversation. Do not answer with a word, unless you do not want to talk anymore.
3. If someone you know comments on a photo or video you posted, you must answer.
4. If someone is communicating with you via some form of communication, for example, by email, then you must respond using the same communication method.
5. Do not like your own messages. People see it and it gives you a weird look.
6. Do not ask for likes, comments or actions.
7. Do not take hours to answer without an excuse.
8. You do not have to leave a voicemail message.
9. If someone asks you several questions per text, do not just answer a part of the message.
10. Do not post dozens of pictures of cheezy quotes back to back.
11. You can send a text message for happy birthday, merry Christmas, etc. You do not have to call.
12. Do not participate in the group discussion, better yet, rarely send group discussions. They are generally annoying and generally avoidable.
13. Try not to announce bad news via SMS. Do not communicate bad news via DMs.
14. If you do not get an answer, you do not have to get angry. This is not always a big problem.
15. If you have time to post on Snapchat, you have time to reply to text messages.

What are your unspoken communication rules? Let Dalvin Brown to know on Twitter: @Dalvin_Brown

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