9 anxiety-provoking social interactions as the world reopens



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The world is not completely safe just yet, but vaccinated people whose states have reopened to some extent may find themselves in a strange and nerve-racking environment.

People with obsessive-compulsive disorder and cleaning rituals, trauma or anxiety disorders may have particularly difficult times to rehabilitate.

“What used to be familiar doesn’t sound so familiar anymore,” said Lynn Bufka, senior director of practice quality and transformation at the American Psychological Association. “For almost a year now we’ve had messages not to be with others, to be aloof … then the idea that, ‘Oh, there are ways we can be with others. and that’s OK ‘- this is new information to reconcile. So it’s understandable that it’s different, at least, if not anxiety-provoking or stressful. ”

Anxiety can serve as a warning about situations we need to be careful with and be careful with, Bufka added. These are the experiences and places that can be apprehensive as the world reopens, and the tips experts have for dealing with them.

Contact lenses

If you’ve been social distancing at home, chances are the only people you’ve had eye contact with lately are your roommates, cashiers in stores, and coworkers via a screen.

In a future without a mask, “you might want to look down because you’re scared,” said Jane Webber, assistant professor of counselor training and doctoral program coordinator at Kean University in New Jersey. “Usually just eye contact and a little smile that I call the ‘Mona Lisa smile’ fills people on the other side with a really nice feeling. They’ll reflect what you’re doing.”

Eye contact is the easiest interaction to start with because it puts us back into the connection and shows that we care about ourselves, said Webber, who teaches trauma, stress, and coping skills.

To be among the crowds

If you’ve recently watched a movie shot before the pandemic, chances are the crowd scenes look a bit special. While we’re still a long way from large gatherings, you might soon find yourself in increasingly tight quarters in grocery stores or on public transportation.

As a psychologist, a “protective space circle” is something Webber taught students. “We’re going to put a rope or ribbon on the floor and (ask), ‘What size of a circle do you need to feel safe in a crowd? Most people will say, ‘I need space in front of me or on my sides.’ “

Once you’ve decided on the space you need, strategically use your elbows or legs or an object – like a shopping bag or grocery cart – to create it. When you need people to respect your boundaries, gently tell them, “I just need a little more space.”

If you’re feeling panicked, Webber suggested focusing on your breathing and saying, “I’ll be fine in a few minutes.” Move slowly with the crowd and out to the perimeters until you find space.

READ MORE: 12 lifestyle habits to reduce stress

Shake hands and hug

At the start of the pandemic, whether to shake hands was a matter of debate. Now people usually don’t. Dr Anthony Fauci, director of the US National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, urged breaking with this age-old cultural norm – for good. As people meet more frequently, if you run into someone reaching out, the seed factor may instinctively make you back down.

“We are social people,” said Webber. “You (could) reach out and then take your hand away, and we tell people it’s a natural feeling.”

If at that point you’re feeling anxious, wiggle or elbow your elbows instead, Webber said. “Let people know that you are still a little nervous,” she added. “By doing this, we have made a connection and they (will) have empathy.”

The thought of a hug can be even scarier. All the same, in this year of social distancing, we have gone “offline,” Webber said. But now is not the time to kiss everyone you see. If you or someone outside your home you care about craves the warmth of a loving touch, give yourself a “butterfly” hug by wrapping your arms around you, patting each shoulder and ” sending it ”to that person. If anyone bends down for a hug, please voice your concerns and initiate a butterfly hug instead.

Flirt or be asked for a date

If you grab a take-out coffee and someone asks you on a date, your brain may be trashing your memory as to how you should respond to such an unfamiliar request.

You can slow down if you’re not ready, Bufka said. Suggest that you two start by exchanging phone numbers and then work your way up to virtual dates.

New intimate relationships

Going from flirting to the first date can seem like a lost art. Additionally, the pandemic may have added some unusual questions to your Get to Know Yourself list: Has this person been vaccinated? What does she think of the vaccine and the Covid-19 masks? How did she behave during the pandemic? Is it asymptomatic?

These questions are actually exactly what you should be asking to find out if your love shares your values ​​and if you want the relationship to go further, Bufka said. Your date’s responses would indicate whether you both agree on the level of risk, the precautions to be taken, and the acceptable risks.

Approach the conversation with gentleness, humility and non-judgment, advised Bufka. Share the behaviors that you tried to prioritize during the pandemic and why, and that you are curious about what your date did. If you’re planning to get serious, “being able to have such a conversation is something you wish you could do,” Bufka added.

If you’re nervous about physical intimacy, admit that’s OK. “Like, ‘Gosh, it’s been a year since I kissed someone. I kind of forgot how to do it. ‘ You can take it a little lighter, ”Bufka said. If you haven’t been vaccinated yet, be honest and say you don’t want to risk his health.

READ MORE: Losing the sense of control during the pandemic

Sharing public spaces

You are sitting on a bench when someone else asks to be seated near you. Should you leave them? If you don’t, what might the other person think about you?

Before these situations, you could repeat it by saying something like, “” Sorry, I still have not been vaccinated. I prefer to keep my distance, “” said Bufka. If you have been vaccinated, you might wonder what your concerns are and if they are still realistic, based on current health recommendations.

Share things to help others

If someone were to ask you to restart their car, you would probably want to help them. But should you, and who will if you don’t?

Change the situation to make it more comfortable, said Jacqueline Gollan, who holds two chairs at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago: one in psychiatry and behavioral sciences, and one in obstetrics and gynecology.

“Take small steps to manage your anxiety, socialize, and mitigate the real risks,” Gollan said via email. You might have hand sanitizer and masks readily available for these situations. “If you can’t reduce your anxiety, see if you can change your negative predictions by bringing your anxiety” to court. “Evaluate the data that suggests (if) you have a high likelihood of getting sick during the vaccination.”

Cosmetic and spa services

Picture this: the pandemic is finally over and you would just like to relax with a massage. There’s just one problem, though: cosmetic and spa services may not seem so relaxing, even in the aftermath of a pandemic.

Asking the company what precautions it has taken – and going somewhere else if it doesn’t meet your standards – is fine.

READ MORE: One year on from the start of the pandemic, it’s time to take stock of our mental health

Come back to work

Those of us who still work from home have been able to do our own work in terms of how and where we work. We didn’t have to worry about meeting people and the risk of Covid-19.

What can be scariest when he returns to the office is losing control over your health bubble and routine, said Ravi S. Gajendran, director of the leadership and management department at Florida International University. and associate professor at the College of Business. You may no longer be used to ironing your clothes, being visible under your shoulders, and interacting in person.

What you can do is accept that the transition will be scary, disruptive and slow, Gajendran said. Focus on preparing for what you can control, which includes wearing hand sanitizer and wearing a mask.

Be aware that office work will likely be different from what it was before the pandemic, as some companies have implemented seating or apps to record symptoms of Covid-19. If your workplace doesn’t have clear safety policies, raise your concerns with your supervisor, said Kristen Shockley, associate professor of psychology at the University of Georgia. An organization that sets standards “creates a common and shared understanding,” she added. “And those people who might be feeling more careful don’t feel weird having to communicate that.”

Overall, “cut yourself a break,” Gajendran said. Those of us who have stayed through most of the pandemic may feel weird and anxious to readjust to society, but we are in the same boat and can (safely) help each other.

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