Stop letting your kids watch the iPads in the restaurants, says the science

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I think of this topic as an instinctive test – it encourages self-awareness and experimentation to see if you can find something that improves your relationship with your children or makes parenting easier or more enjoyable. . For the most part, I believe that parents know what is best for their children.

But I find it difficult to maintain this objectivity in a specific area: when I see parents in restaurants with their children zoned on an iPad or a phone, I start to be shy.

I really appreciate the need for parental breaks, the desire to have a peaceful meal and the conversation of an adult, and the need to find solutions when children act in public. But iPads in restaurants are not the solution to these problems. And not spending time communicating during meals can contribute to other problems later.

Two fields of research support me on this subject.

First, many studies examine the positive psychological and physical benefits of frequent family meals without a screen. They show that the time that children spend together with family meals is closely related to school performance, with less behavioral problems, less obesity and reduced rates of smoking, drinking and drinking. alcohol and drugs among adolescents.
Another area of ​​investigation has uncovered the potentially damaging effects of too much screen time for young children. "The time spent in front of children's screens has increased over the years," write the authors of a study published Wednesday, and "this has been associated with unhealthy eating habits, poor sleep quality , cardiovascular diseases and childhood obesity ".
Dear children, please excuse yourself for checking & # 39; my phone

In this new research – analyzing thousands of Canadian preschoolers – scientists found that when children spent more time in front of iPads, computers, TVs and cell phones, they faced to an increasing number of "clinically significant problems of inattention" as well as other ADHD-like behavior problems. When the daily screen time went from 30 minutes to more than two hours a day, the problems were multiplied by at least five times.

A similar study, published just a few months ago, found that spending a lot of time looking at screens was linked to poorer performance in developmental testing later in childhood.

The screens during meals deprive children of language and communication enhancement options (stories, jokes, etc.), as well as patience and even imagination while they are entertaining while waiting for the meal. food.

Meals are an opportunity to connect, to get to know each other and to appreciate each other. They strengthen the bonds that will pay dividends for the rest of our lives. We are spoiling this opportunity when we stick a screen in front of our children during dinner.

According to a study, more time spent on the screen for toddlers is linked to poorer development
Of course, we all want to have nice family meals. That's why I like Bruce Feiller's book "The Secrets of Happy Families", in which he devotes an entire chapter to ways to make them fun and rewarding for all – such as "fill in the words" phrases you compose "Sharing something good and difficult makes the conversations engaging too, and I had fun playing Uno with my daughters until the food arrived at a restaurant." The game you're going to try at your next family meal is ____________. "
The American Academy of Pediatrics also offers guidelines to help families manage the time spent in front of children's screens. The academy recommends avoiding digital media for children under the age of 2, except for video conferencing, and limit the screen time to only one hour per day of broadcasts. high quality for children aged 2 to 5 years.

Basically, we all benefit from more human connections, not least – and this is especially true for children. Schools, air travel, most jobs, games, even "social" interactions, were all once done without screens but filled with them. And while we have gained some benefits, including new connections, we have also lost something fundamental.

Less, it is always more when it comes, even if it is effective to keep the children calm. But soon after complaining of being "bored", children naturally tend to fill that blank void with creative games, works of art, exploration and conversations. There are no studies that warn against having too many hours of these activities.

Let's work harder to keep special family meals by giving up iPads and nurturing our personal relationships while feeding our bodies.

David G. Allan is the Editorial Director of CNN Health, Wellness and Parenting. He also writes "The Wisdom Project" on the application of philosophy to our daily lives. You can subscribe here.

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