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Dear Amy: My brother and his wife both got sick from the coronavirus very early in the pandemic. Fortunately, both recovered without any lingering effects.
However, neither of them intends to be vaccinated. Because of their experience, they believe it is no worse than the flu, and both have strongly criticized the government, especially when it comes to public health measures like mask warrants, which they deem unnecessary. and infringements of their personal freedom.
Needless to say, they are very conservative in their beliefs and outlook on life, yet flexible enough to tolerate me, the educated elitist liberal.
Recently, they flew to another state for vacation. They thought the airline might ask them to show proof of vaccination, which they don’t have and won’t get.
I saw my sister-in-law borrow the vaccination card from one of her friends with the explicit and articulate intention of reproducing it and forging a vaccination card for herself and her spouse (my brother).
I also saw her asking my brother to buy thick paper for this purpose, so he knowingly participated in the fraud.
Now, I blame myself for not telling any of them, and also not reporting it to anyone.
But I didn’t want to cause a family break-up, nor did I know to whom such a thing could be reported. I don’t think they are breaking any real laws – maybe just ethical and moral obligations to society.
However, I now feel like a coward. I also lost a lot of respect for them. As the time to act on them has passed, should I do something now?
Surrounded by non-vaxxed
Dear Liberal: Airlines don’t require travelers to produce vaccination cards, so your sister-in-law’s James Bond-style derring-do of planning to use a copier (wow!) Was both silly and unnecessary.
Your brother and his wife have already contracted the virus, and for them (and many others) the illness that accompanied the virus was mild, like other flu they might have had. Lucky! (Unless they were tested for the COVID antibody, however, it’s possible they actually had another illness.)
The problem with this particular virus is how it attacks different people differently, and that’s why asymptomatic carriers have posed a risk to others, and why the vaccination has been so necessary – and successful.
If they have the antibodies to the virus, they might not be at risk of infecting others, but they should still be vaccinated. Different emerging strains could change this equation, and the long-term protection exhibited by antibodies is still unclear.
If you know that they are fraudulently presenting someone else’s vaccination card, then you absolutely need to speak up, even if these two geniuses don’t seem likely to pull off a big caper.
Dear Amy: I recently had very serious eye surgery. The operation was successful but left my eye temporarily – but severely – bloodshot.
It was unsightly, but my doctor insisted that I not wear a patch on it.
I didn’t feel like I had to hide in my house for two weeks.
What amazed me was the number of people I barely know – or not at all – who were asking, “What happened to your eye?
I think it was pretty rude, but I just said, “I just had surgery.” What do you think?
Blinded in NY
Dear blind man: The insight (excuse the pun) into asking intrusive questions usually happens when you are the recipient of intrusive questions.
I have personally been annoyed by similar questions. I also realized that my own annoyance means – I can’t ask. So you could hobble me with your leg in a cast, and I wouldn’t ask you about it, even if I was dying to know and you were dying to tell me.
People are naturally curious. Words fly away sometimes. Your answer, truthful and to the point, was correct.
Dear Amy: “Dazed, Sad and Confused” was considering reconciling with her ex-husband.
She should take it from me, do herself a favor and move on!
I stayed with my ex (I dated him for years after our divorce) and looking back I realize that there was a good reason we got divorced in the first place. I’ll never get that time back.
No longer confused
Expensive either: Usually if your question is “should I kick him on the sidewalk?” You already know the answer.
You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.
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