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At this time last year, I was hopeful. A year after my cancer diagnosis, I was about to have surgery that would rebuild my breasts and potentially restore the feeling that I had lost from the mastectomy. I obviously had crushed cancer. I discovered my own illness and advocated for an earlier diagnosis. I barely missed a beat, working, as I navigated through chemotherapy and radiation therapy with few side effects. I had no signs of illness. “Life” as I knew it was about to restart, and I was ready to go.
But cancer is not linear. In fact, for many, it hangs around long after the cells have been expelled from your body. As of this writing, my right arm is sore and swollen, the result of lymphedema, a potentially debilitating side effect of cancerous lymph node removal. Since I last shared my story on the TODAY show in October 2020, I have had three more painful surgeries. One, to rebuild my breasts using natural tissue from my abdomen and potentially restore some feeling I had lost, then two more when it was a devastating failure.
I now have implants, and instead of regaining the sensation in my chest, now I also have numbness in my abdomen and even part of my leg.
It is important to note that my experience is completely different from that of the many women I spoke to during my research on my surgery, which reinforces the fact that there is no manual on cancer. Each of us affected by this disease is uniquely affected, and for me the reconstruction has been infinitely more difficult than the treatment. My lowest points didn’t come with the diagnosis or the chemotherapy, but at a time when I was supposed to be “cancer free”.
Fortunately, while every cancer experience is individual, the battle is not. From the moment I was diagnosed, I have been surrounded by the most incredible network of breast cancer patients and survivors (or as I now prefer to call them, the successful). There was the coworker who offered to drive me for hours to spend the night with me when I was stuck alone in an airport hotel because she knew what it was like to wait for a biopsy. There was the friend and breast cancer survivor who spent her days off at the same hospital where she worked long, grueling hours, so she could sit with me during chemotherapy. There was the complete stranger who told me how she told her own young children about her cancer, then sent us tips and care kits throughout my treatment.
Breast cancer is the most common cancer diagnosis in American women. According to the American Cancer Society, in 2019, more than 3.8 million women were living with a history of breast cancer. It’s a club that no one wants to join, but a club filled with caring and generous women even when facing their own medical issues.
In 2021, approximately 281,550 new cases of invasive beast cancer are expected to be diagnosed in women in the United States, along with 49,290 new cases of non-invasive cancer. Of that estimate, about 1 in 5 will be, like me, under 49, according to the American Cancer Society.
With early detection, science can do amazing things. Many will live long after a cancer diagnosis, but the physical and emotional scars far outlive treatment. Society calls us breast cancer warriors. It can often be difficult to feel like one.
Recently, I was particularly drawn to a charity called the iRise Above Foundation, designed for those of us diagnosed in our 20s, 30s and 40s, women who want to be as active as we always have been. , who want to take back our lives not only as survivors, but as prosperous ones.
Through wellness programs, adventure trips, webinars and workouts, women are once again the authors of their own stories. This is exactly what I need.
Participants walked through the ring, but came together to offer the support and tools needed to live fully. Today the founder and I talked about the possibility of climbing Kilimanjaro, surfing in Costa Rica or a yoga retreat in Baja California, activities which, over the past year, have brought me to life. sometimes seemed to belong to my past. Instead, today I am determined to make sure they are my future.
A motto of the group is “we rise by lifting others.” I have never found that more true. to be a better place, and each of us would know that we are much less alone in the face of the challenges we face.
As another October and breast cancer awareness month looms, I can’t help but be optimistic again, for myself and for all of us. This is not the path I would have chosen. This is by no means what I expected. Great challenges remain, but I have seen the best of humanity in the millions of women who have faced this terrible disease and, instead of darkness, I have chosen generosity and hope. I thank each of them and promise to be the best of myself to move forward. For me, for them and those who follow us.
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