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If you have already had a drink with me, I probably told you about my abortion. Online, however, it's a different story. Until last week, I only shared news about abortion, without any personal anecdote. It's not because I'm ashamed, but because I want to protect myself from trolls.
This neutral public stance has changed for me this week, after Georgia and Alabama have passed some of the toughest abortion bans in the country. Firstly I just tweet that I had aborted. But then I realized that I wanted people to put a face on the procedure, hear about someone with a completely ordinary story. So here is mine.
Four years ago, at 22, I already suspected that my new partner, Ben and I, would probably get married one day. We had been together for only four months, but we had already planned to move from Boston to New York at the end of the year – we had planned to live our big dreams next to each other.
But then my first job was fired. I had about $ 1,000 in my name, $ 100,000 in student debt and I was not eligible for unemployment benefits or severance pay. Even though I had the chance to live without rent with my aunt and to have caring parents who could intervene if necessary, the financial situation of my situation was always gloomy.
Around the same time, Ben noticed that my breasts had grown bigger. I just attributed this change to the huge amounts of bread and cheese I had eaten on vacation earlier in the month. But when my periods did not arrive at the scheduled time, we became nervous. He suggested buying a pregnancy test to allay our fears. We are both very favorable rights to abortion; When I came out of the bathroom sobbing with a positive pregnancy test in my hand, our decision was already made.
There has never been a time when I regretted ending my pregnancy.
While abortion rights activists would have you believe that getting an abortion is quick, easy and on demand, I discovered it was anything but the thing. Even in a state like Massachusetts, where no wait times existed, the earliest available appointment at Planned Parenthood was at the end of the following week. It was at the same time a job interview that I could not afford to jump. So it would take another two weeks before I could have an abortion.
Those two weeks that followed were the most miserable of my life. I vomited on the roadside, in the bathroom of my interviewer and even in my own purse. I could not smell the food without getting sick. Despite the fact that I did not doubt my choice, hormones in early pregnancy made me cry constantly.
The most stressful thing: the cost. The procedure cost $ 650, and asking my parents for a loan to end my pregnancy was not an option. My mother, a nun from the south, had said several times that she would not support an abortion. That's how I found myself sobbing at the Planned Parenthood receptionist. Fortunately, she directed me to the East Massachusetts Abortion Fund, which subsidized half of the abortion.
The day of my appointment, I was brought to meet a counselor who asked me if I was sure of my decision. I told him that I would never have been so sure of anything in my life. I was given an ultrasound so that they could see how far I was. They asked me if I wanted to watch it, but I did not do it. My options were either a fast surgery or a medical abortion, which would be administered in the form of two pills. I chose this last option and I was given a pill to take that day and a second pill to take home 24 hours later.
I did not feel anything after taking the first pill. The second pill was a different story. I was grateful that my best friend was at home with me to hold me back and wipe the sweat off my forehead. But after the first 30 minutes extremely painful, I started to feel normal. I spent my recovery time watching the first season of How to escape murder and ate Nutella directly from the pot. I bled for a few days and I was wearing a tampon for the first time since I was 14 years old.
There has never been a time when I regretted ending my pregnancy. If I had not had an abortion, I could not have realized my dream of starting a career in New York. It's not just speculation: less than a year after my intervention, I got a great job where I earned more than double my previous salary. I do not think it would have been possible if I were myself and a child fed. Even my own parents, whom I never thought I could accept abortion, finally respected my decision once I told them about it.
So, trolls, I am one of four women who has had an abortion. I do not care if you come after me. Abortion was the best decision I ever made because it allowed me to choose the path of my life. I'm not sorry.
A woman tells how an abortion at age 16 changed her life. And here's what you can do to help people living in states with restrictive abortion laws.
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