Battletoads is too complicated and unpleasant a sequel

Battletoads is the sequel to one of the most controversial NES games of all time – a game well known for its extreme difficulty, considered a rite of passage on the playing field.

But the new Battletoads on Xbox One and Windows PC has nothing of the charm of its predecessors. I gladly put Battletoads after just a few hours, and I hope I never touch it again.

The Battletoads Formula

Battletoads is a self-aware 2.5d brawler who mixes traditional beat-’em-ups with bizarre vehicle levels and story vignettes.

I recruited my wife, Jamie, to play co-op with me. In the character selection, I picked Pimple, the big Battletoad, while Jamie grabbed Zitz, the boss. We left Rash, the Michelangelo of Toads, on the bench most of the time – only passing to him when one of our main toads died. We brawled down futuristic streets, hitting baddies across the sky with our uppercuts – or at least high enough to juggle a combo.

Battletoads taught us a variety of different techniques. There’s the standard punch, an uppercut to finish or juggle enemies near death, a charge attack to shatter shields, a tongue lasso to lure nearby enemies or pull me towards them, and the ability to slow enemies by spitting gum. After learning the basics, the first mission threw us into a battle against a giant pink pig that we almost mistook for TMNT’s Bebop.

Stage 2 wasn’t a stage at all, opting for a silly storytelling vignette of the Battletoads doing menial jobs to make ends meet – which simply requires the push of a button to complete the mini-game. The third step brought us to the level of the flying motorcycle. We were both driving at high speed through a long tunnel, jumping and dodging between obstacles. And so the Battletoads the formula is cemented.

As we progressed through the rest of the game’s first act – which lasted around two hours – we played a few more beat-’em-up levels, another silly minigame, and a boss fight. The animations, enemies, and toads are all silly, absurd, and weird, with each toad transforming into various animals, machines, or robots mid-combo.

But the overly complicated game mechanics and oppressive art style tried too hard to grab my attention. It exhausted me, and despite all my efforts, I never found Battletoads fun.

Battletoads try too hard for his own good

Image: PLAY, Rare / Xbox Game Studios

From the second I started Battletoads, he was trying to make me laugh – to throw lots of jokes at me before I even had a chance to laugh at first. During my few hours, a line or two got hold of me, but the funniest part of the game had less to do with writing the game and more to do with Jamie’s inability to stay alive during motorcycle level. The combination of his frustration and the great sound / animation of a Battletoad hitting a wall made me laugh so hard I had to take a break to avoid crashing.

I remember that laugh vividly, but I couldn’t tell you a single written joke. My wife and I found more fun through our own failures in the wacky bike section than exploring new levels and advancing the story. And, in the end, I was still relieved to get off the bike and continue.

The fight is also too much. The beat-’em-up genre has always been inherently simple, but Battletoads adds a host of mechanics, making the game’s combat more in-depth than its predecessors. But the new complexity ultimately breeds chaos, with too many enemy types to juggle and pitfalls to avoid.

Combined with Battletoads“ Extremely punitive difficulty in some sections – about three shots from a cannon enemy at the start of the game killed one of my toads – the fight becomes more frustrating than satisfying. Many different types of enemies force different approaches in a single fight, making it easier to shoot while you’re about to smash a shield. It’s less about managing an army of throwable henchmen than waiting for the enemy “tank” to stumble so you can deal damage. It looks cheap, making it a bit too difficult to take out one enemy without nearly getting killed by another.

Image: PLAY, Rare / Xbox Game Studios

The original Battletoads It was a hyper-difficult nightmare, loved by some and hated by others. Battletoads tries to bring back the titular heroes in a grand way, but complicates both the action and the story, making me wonder if something original Battletoads the love of the fans is still intact.

To spend two hours The simpsons arcade game, you needed to refinance your house to pay for living. But Battletoads offers much easier entry and exit. Be on Xbox Game Pass, Battletoads is low stakes for subscribers. You should know what you think about it pretty quickly – I did.

I stopped playing Battletoads with a sigh of relief. The difficulty and the relentless, tiring jokes were too much. I’ll never see the end of Zitz, Pimple and Rash’s latest adventure, and my wife will never let me forget the night I made it play Battletoads.

Battletoads launches August 20 for Windows PC and Xbox One. The game has been reviewed on Xbox using a download code provided by Xbox Game Studios. Vox Media has affiliate partnerships. These do not influence editorial content, although Vox Media may earn commissions for products purchased through affiliate links. You can find more information on Polygon’s ethics policy here.