Journalist Onliner.by Andrei Novikov: I would like to abolish the smokers, that's good that I do not have the right

"Squeeze" – I want to exclaim myself in such situations, but innate cowardice saves. And there is no such law to shout at smokers. We have a free country, everyone has the right to spoil the air around them.

Okay, the ZAT does not do it, all those cubes on the belly … They disgust these cubes from all the holes. Another situation you find yourself, for example, at the online exchange for the yuan. And someone in the same queue will be allowed to smoke right now. He has no strength to endure. Immediately, of course, the noise, the scandal – people do not want to smell it, offend the smoker and violate democratic principles. It is good that we have such people.

Or – you go in the elevator, and then a drop of nicotine kills the horse … Well, and so on

"And who is here so sensitive with a sweet nose ? – you ask. – Is not it the one who listened loudly to the evil music yesterday in the car at the entrance? "

You m You've gotten to agree, there are decent smokers who manage to not spoil the lives of others (I have no idea how they do it) .Most of my acquaintances are ( some people cease to be familiar), but the weather, as usual, is done by a stinky minority.

Today, smokers are beaten on reservations, they print images They even say that they are dying, but from the last forces prove their usefulness:

– We are restocking the budget, desce We pay wild excises, the state is flatter with wild speed. The more I smoke (and drink), the more rich the country.

The economy of smoking is a rundown subject. For against, who did not go to bed. From one side – profit, from the other – health. Someone died, someone became ill, someone became rich – they have the right.

I am not too compbadionate. I'm just pushed by a toad who is always watching for the economic security of the country. It's simple: a baby jazemateri baby described above (and herself) will be treated at the clinic for my money. And for the money of another child, who has nothing to do with it, does physical exercises and does not drink. And then, what's good, they will detach me for a donation for treatment in Israel (they've done it a hundred times, I've always given up on them, but they know how.)

Do I want to ban people from smoking? Hell, no, of course. And yet, yes. And not just for smoking. It's nice that I do not have such powers.

In fact, I had used to smoke myself. Two times. Once – in my childhood, I found somewhere a pack of "Astra" without filter, brought home and I decided to try it while my parents were at work. He was stretched exactly once, he woke up flat on the floor. I threw the package, I went to do my homework.

I have been smoking in the army for the second time, the cheapest cigarettes in the world "Pamir" have been distributed free of charge. He also wandered once – woke up in 1990 in the middle of the Kyrgyz city of Osh in a vest and with a gun, watched as a streetcar pbaded by there. A few hours later, I realized that there was no tram in Osh. It is tobacco, not the current one.

Since then, I have not tried it anymore.

I will tell you how smoking affects badual function. On a personal example (although I do not smoke). I have not always worked online. In his youth, while he had not yet invented the Internet and electricity, he was working as a caretaker on a small iron tug. All the crew, except me, smoked. And now – the 90s, a deficit, democracy, there is nothing to eat, a mess. In general, thanks and fun. We wait for loading in a Ukrainian port

The boys have problems: there is nothing to smoke. They walked here for a long time (they broke down three times, stranded, etc.). At first, they smoked valiantly at Marlboro, being sure that these cigarettes would never end. Then they collected Marlboro bulls. Then they shouted bad words to the cook, who stupidly shook the ashtray overboard (you can not throw anything into the sea! Ecology!). And then again, they collected the smoked chinariki twice on the boat.

We stay. The loading is delayed. We have money in our pockets, but we can not buy anything. As it turned out on arrival, Ukrainians are already using karbovan coupons, so we can put our imperial chervontes in our ear.

But you can never give up. Telnyashki on the trunk, the courage in the eyes, beautiful red muzzle on one side – we went to the city to look for cigarette butts. I – for the company, you can not miss this. Luck was waiting for us just outside the harbor gate: girls, about three, each with legs and that's all. But then the guys were not at all at their feet. After all, the ladies smoked long, thin cigarettes

A sophisticated plan, immediately invented by a motorist named Vova, had no weak points: we wait until we are finished and catch our prey

Standing and playing with many muscles on our faces, we waited patiently. The girls, after making two puffs, languidly throwing cigarettes and … lit new ones! They continued to talk about obviously irrelevant nonsense.

The guys who did not smoke for nearly a week went from tension to ankle in the Zaporozhye asphalt. Their points of view could be enlightened. The women themselves felt the warmth of their eyes – and they looked at each other coquettishly!

In general, they stayed 20 minutes: they were watching us – on butts … These women have one in mind

… Recently on the balcony Again I found some cigarette ashes. A kind of contra on the top still smoked, flew to me. Enraged. And do not catch the same thing! I tried to shout on the suspect from the upper floor – the one in refusal: "This is not me, it's a pot" .

Under the balcony, everything is littered with cigarette butts. Also not him (it's a pot). There is no one to remove them (well, it's not up to the house management to do it), and it's impossible to catch a reptile. A catch – you can not prove it. And you will prove – so what will you do to him? And if it's for you? And if he complains to the district police officer? Do you need more? An activist? .. and a bunch of other questions that nobody can ask.

I see an issue: include in the cost of each package the salary of a janitor, who will walk with the broom and the scoop (by the way, that must be, put into tax). And also include here the salary of a special police unit, which will track the balcony Kurtsov. And also the salary of a firefighter who will walk with a fire extinguisher behind the concierge who takes it to the smoker.

So, my ideal world looks like that of a manure

– … still offended smokers – the woman makes fun long thin cigarette). – Or who is today?

She also hates the smell of cigarettes, but she has spent billions of euros on cigarettes. She crawls on this barricade with her friends on one side and then on the other. By the way, on the billions burned.

A sudden moment of badysis of the exchanges finally. Recently, we were reminded that cigarettes will increase again in July. There are some kopecks, nobody will notice. This creeping tactic is very good. And lets know the true values.

Take the time interval of 5 years (you can and more, then the picture is even more beautiful, but additional factors interfere). Thus, in June 2013, the dollar was worth (for fresh money) about 90 cents. The conditional package of cigarettes is 80 kopecks. Today, the dollar costs 2 rubles. The same package is 2.20. And what better to invest?

The value of cigarettes increases steadily and predictably. They are not subject to stock market hysteria, like bitcoin. They do not fall like real estate. And do not get cheaper, like a barrel of oil ($ 107 five years ago – $ 77 today (but gas is more expensive, but we are not talking about that! ).

The financiers will find here a bad blow, but the fact remains! It's silly to smoke such a wonderful currency. It is economically more feasible to smoke dollars

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