Psychologist Catherine Holod: Romance Resort – Is It Really High Grade Adultery?



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Ekaterina Kholod – Family Psychologist, Gestalt Psychologist, Member of the Belarusian Association of Psychotherapists, Consultant in the field of Sexology and Family Relations. With Onliner.by 8 years old.

In the summer, I really want to love and romance. The sea breeze, the relaxation and holiday thoughts, the memories of past erotic adventures or the thirst for new ones – all this excites the imagination. Well, what's wrong with that? Why not dream, because in fantasy everything is "pretending". If everyone was more or less in agreement that seeing bad – without betrayal, then many would consider the station's novel pretty much the same thing – a joke that, like, and no treason, also.

Or treason, agree, but definitely more light than a simple connection on the side. What is a sin to conceal, many girls go to the South Seas, mainly for hot men, not for the sun. Many men do not consider it a crime to visit a European brothel during a business trip. Everyone knows who loves – not going to the party, but the bearded question "Would you change with this beauty if your wife has never known?" Remains relevant.

Let's look in more detail: if you shout all over the street (or even just a friend in the kitchen whispering) on ​​their moral principles, but on the answer to the question, I was wondering what are your principles on the price? Let's honestly share love and bad and not vaccinate.

People are much easier to give up some of their internal rules, if no one sees it, especially close and important. And in that sense, deciding on a station novel is much easier than on a novel in your city. However, even here, there are many imperceptible difficulties at first glance.

It often seems that the important thing is whether the partner learns the question, but it is more important for us to know and think about ourselves. And in that sense, the rule – do to others what you would like them to do with you – is very important. And I love even more: if you imagine that the whole world is acting like you, it's good for you.

No one in the world is immune to the treachery of his loved ones, their care or their death. Nobody can guarantee love and loyalty to the grave. People have always lived in uncertainty. Some wear it more easily, others storm more. There is no prescription for pain. The psyche is plastic, and we can not say anyone: it always changes everyone, and the other – for nothing and never.

In a certain atmosphere, even the most exemplary family man can cross the line. And the stations contribute to this atmosphere. This does not mean that by releasing your husband alone on the sea, you are sticking your horns. But the probability of this is higher, yes.

If you think about it, the temptation to search for adventures somewhere, except for your bedroom, happens to everyone. During cooling periods, such thoughts come to mind. But if taking them as an action guide is a big question. Thinking that communication on the side will solve the problem, relieve tension, much exacerbate the situation. Alcohol, it seems, also relieves tension in the early hours, but if you look in perspective – robs you of the possibility of getting out of the crisis, de-energizes your resources. If suddenly this happens to you and you seriously consider the option of "backing off" – then something has gone wrong and it is worth it to interest you.

It also happens that people, perceiving a holiday romance as doomed at the end, fall in love with the ears. Where is the connection? When we know that it will last forever two weeks, no more, we let go of the "inner leash": do not worry in vain, do not think in advance, we are open, spontaneous, alive – in the full sense of the term. And this state in which and in which it is very easy to fall in love without even noticing it.

Many are mistaken that summer novels are not really frivolous. Guys, sometimes people with such a change back from vacation. You surely know for yourself or your knowledge how a love can transform a vision of the world and values, because the infatuation for another person can undermine the inner conceptions and principles.

People change, the human psyche is in continuous motion. . On the example of my clients, I noticed that the more one thinks and treats a lot more things, the stronger is the inner core of a person, and he is much more stable both personally and in his relations with his beloved. Conversely, rigidity and overly categorical perceptions (such as hot issues such as betrayal) indicate a fragile state and susceptibility to impulsive behavior.

Here is the paradox: it is easy to treat romances, but not necessarily

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