For those who suffer from depression, these 10 little things count a lot



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HEALTH – Depression manifests itself in many ways: prolonged and omnipresent sadness, feelings of worthlessness or self-loathing, appetite or sleep disturbances, irritability or lack of energy. harsh symptoms that make daily life difficult to take on.

"I often compare depression to the monster that lies under the bed, you never know when it will come out of its lair to attack and make life even more painful and heavy," says Karla Culbertson, who suffers from it. -even. "If she's still extremely complicated to manage, it's comforting to be able to rely on family members and other loved ones to tame the darker recesses of her life."

As one in ten is a victim of this mental illness at some point, it is likely that you or one of your loved ones will be affected. Below, people who have been dealing with depression explain how friends and family can help ease this burden.

1. Listen without trying at all costs to "find a solution"

"The simple fact of being present for those who are going through difficult times is sometimes the only thing that matters, in those moments, try not to propose solutions, the best being not to be depressed, the one who This is all the more for not being able to regain a foothold as it seems to everyone, the best you can do is to show empathy.It counts a lot for a depressed person: she will remember and appreciate it. " Christie Matherne

2. Help them with household chores that seem insurmountable to them

"Go do their laundry so they can change their underwear or wash the mountain of dishes that piled up in the sink.When we are bad, talk about how we feel can help, of course, but can also give the impression of being summoned to explain what it is like to be on fire, while one is burning. " @AlecWhithPen

3. Rather than ask what you can do, offer to do a specific job

"Do not say, 'Can I do something to help you?' It's very nice, but personally, I hate it, it's putting all the responsibility on the back of the depressed person, who will answer: 'No, that's good' because she does not have the desire to express your needs or make choices. " @AlecWhithPen

4. Have a lot of patience when the person goes bad

"It is important for the spouse to know that I am doing my best, I may need space to relax, I can be easily frustrated, often need to be rebadured about the other's love for me. If I share my battles with him at an intimate level, it means that I love him, that I trust him My spouse must be aware that I try to be the best possible version of myself, but it takes time, effort and training. " Maria Fraschilla

5. Send a small text message or a fun message so that she knows you're thinking about her

"I love getting text messages or silly memes from my friends, sometimes I do not feel able to answer (and I blame myself) but I love to receive them, and sometimes my day is saved when I'm at the bottom of the hole, it's very important that they know it. " Sow Ay

Sow Ay

When you're dealing with depression, visiting a friend or relative is important, especially if it comes with something good to eat!

6. Try not to take it personally if it does not respond to your requests

"When you are in a state of depression, you convince yourself that you have nothing to contribute to anyone, and you are closed to those who would really like to be part of our lives." This intense disgust of self can be considered as a manifestation of arrogance. So, to all those who have not been called back or repaid, please, do you say that you have nothing to do with it, if you will allow me a chance and understand the role that play the depression in there, it could be the outstretched hand I need to get out of this hole in which I sink. " Craig Tomashoff

7. Remind her how strong and capable she is in times when she feels helpless

"I need you to remind me of all that I have overcome and accomplished, that there are people in the world who have benefited from my positive work ethic." Culbertson

8. Tell him that everyone has the right not to feel good at times

"Because of the depression, I spend my time making myself feel guilty: I do not go out, I do not work hard enough, I do not eat healthy enough … The fact that I'm reminded that it does not matter and that it's not my fault – because depression is a disease – helps me a lot, I need to be reminded often because she keeps telling me that I'm good for nothing. " – Sow Ay

9. Hold her hand or hug her when she does not want to talk

"In my darkest moments, my spouse is sitting next to me, holding my hand and it's crazy how it feels good to me He knows I do not talk much, he never tries to he prefers to tell me that he loves me and that he is there for me It's these little things that make me feel like I'm surrounded by love and that I will not let myself to engulf by the darkness of the depression. " Crystal N.

10. Bring him a small gift, their favorite treat, a nice little card or flowers

"Small gifts like flowers or sweets are always nice when you're in trouble, the flowers are beautiful to look at and very often give birth to a smile on my face, and sweets and chocolate are so good! ? " Culbertson

This article, published on the American HuffPost, has been translated by Catherine Biros for Fast ForWord.

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